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New on here, my son is 13 w adhd

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My name is Nichole I’m new on this, my 13 year old son was recently diagnosed with adhd. He’s not on meds I just got results the other day. He’s always had problems keeping up in school but now in 7th grade and they put him in special ed. And now the behavior problems started in school this year. Middle school sucks as it is but for these kids I think it sucks so much more. Teachers don’t get nd kids are cruel. So I’m just on here looking for how people deal w this and if it comes to meds how kids are on them. I really don’t want it to come to that. I originally found this sight because I was looking into the cbd oil just to see if anyone gives that to their adhd child. Any info is appreciated 😊 I just want my son to be happy and I know he’s not.

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Hi Nicky,

My son is also 13 and in 7th grade. I always knew he must have adhd, but didn’t see a need to diagnose or put him on meds. At home he was fine, outside, he always seemed to do everything “too much, too intense”. He was always getting in trouble. Middle school started , more expectations, more mature behavior , however my son did not develop that. He became class clown. He is liked at school, he goes to school without any problems. Academically, he started to fall behind last year. They put him in special ed.

There was no week without a phone call from school. He called somebody fat, or said something inappropriate, didn’t raise his hand etc.

He was avoiding homework, he would hide it. Long story short, I put him on meds last September and he was the Honor Roll Student for the first quarter!! Wow, shock! Then around Christmas he became mean, hard to talk to, argumentative. We changed the meds. Still searching for the right fit.

I know the meds make school life easier for him. I know he needs them to have a better quality life. He struggled, and my heart was bleeding. I hope we will find a solution.

Good luck for you too.

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Hidden in reply to Aniusia

Hi Aniusia, yea I had all those problems too. Except my son was never really outgoing or had intense behavior he was actually more shy, withdrawn, awkward around people. And super insecure. I too was on the phone w the principal constantly and the emails w the teachers. I feel like they don’t understand him and they definitely don’t cut him any slack. They suspended him one time for watching a fight, like really?? He has one teacher he really jives with and he the one giving him homeward bound instruction right now (he’s been out of school 2 months for the neurological tests). But now he has to go back and it sucks :(. I wish they’d just give these kids one teacher and pick the right teacher for the student. In a perfect world right. Our next appointment is in 3 months and I’m guessing that’s when the medication talk will be, I’m a little nervous about that. Like I said I was one of those parents that used to say I wouldn’t put my kid on meds, but whatta ya do?

So how long was your son on the meds before you saw the change to being mean? And how’s he doing now?

I feel like school just isn’t for my son. They said since he’s in the special education he can start vocational school in 9th grade instead of 11th...I just want him to get out of middle school as quickly as possible and try that. I don’t confused it’s nice to see other moms on here going through the same tho.

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Aniusia in reply to Hidden

I also never wanted to put him on meds. Well, at one point I was saying Thad adhd doesn’t exist lol

We started with Methophenidate 10mg. He’s skinny and it seemed to be a good starting dose. He did great. After 3 mos we increased to 20mg, and that’s where behavior started to change for worse. We stopped that after couple weeks. We did Assurex genetic testing, to match the medication. I couldn’t take trial and error anymore . It showed he is a slow metabolizer and needs smaller doses.

Now he is on 2.5mg Abilify and only 5 mg Methophenidate. So far ok, but the meds and side effects still scare me.

Everybody is different. What works for one kiddo, might not work for yours.

Definitely try the meds. Your son won’t be able to go through school without help. They forget things, don’t pay attention etc. Don’t forget- you can stop the meds whenever you are not comfortable.

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Hidden in reply to Aniusia

Yep he forgets everything, even when he has his homework done forgets to hand it in. I feel so bad I yelled at him for so long for that :( I really thought if I just constantly reminded him even text him in school to remind him of things that it would be ok. Trial and error seems like I’m reading that a lot on here, changing if meds and doses.

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Baglady5353 in reply to Hidden

Ladies, I just read your posts. I have a 14 year old son, who struggles in school. Just diagnosed at the end of the school year. We put him on medicine and he tells us it helps him focus alot in school. He only had one month of school left . I put him on medicine because he was labeled as class clown. He was not able to control his talking etc andostly focus. Good luck.

Amazing that your child has done okay without meds until now. Both of my grandson to put on medication since kindergarten and both are now in Middle School. Yes Middle School is really tough and the kids are mean.

I am constantly in touch with this kid's teachers either by email or phone and with the counselors at the school. I did the same for their mother when she was in school. They also see a behavior counselor and so did she.

Don't give up keep fighting for your child. 3 months is a long time to wait to talk about medication but if you think he can manage without it for now do what you need to do to help him in school.

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Hidden in reply to anirush

He really hasn’t , he just got through and they kept passing him onto to the next grade. Every year it got harder for him. His doc did say to also get him a therapist. I’ll never give up on him 😁 Thank you got the reply 🙏

Hi there, I have Inattentive ADHD, and was not diagnosed until my mid 20s. I have studied ADHD for a few years now and am in grad school to become an MFT Psychologist to help people with this very condition. Your son reminds me of me at 13. I went through puberty when I was twelve, which is when the huge drop in your reward system happens if you have ADHD particularly Inattentive Type ADHD. I like your son was very quite, was considered very weird, was melancholy, angry, and in addition had really low grades, was called intelligent by my instructors but was called lazy because of lack of work ethic. None of them, including myself and my folks, knew I had Inattentive ADHD. The reason is because it is very difficult to spot, unlike the Hyperactive type of ADHD which is more obvious due to the more hyperactive activity and disruptive behavior. Inattentive types on the other hand day dream quite frequently, are really deep/introspective, and are very sedentary and are usually very introverted. I went through hell in elementary school, but once middle school came around and since I went through puberty early, I was an intense, moody, and very angry individual. I would do horrible things to any student who upset me, so nobody really ever gave me a hard time. I thankfully had music as my medication at the time. My dopamine and serotonin came from playing in many bands and learning over 10 musical instruments. People with ADHD are extremely creative and have a lot of potential. I would recommend you and your son find something he really likes, once he finds that, it will greatly help out. As for medication I myself take a low dose stimulant medication with a group of helpful supplements to help fight off the bad side effects that come with continued stimulant use. Unfortunately after taking stimulant ADHD medication, a large amount of negative side effects can start to occur. Also after taking stimulant medication for around 6 months or more, the neurotransmitters the stimulant medication helps out with (Dopamine, Serotonin, Norepinephrine) will start to deplete, which is why negative side effects start popping up, like irritability, apathy, and feeling like the medication is no longer working, like some people in this post are mentioning. This might occur even earlier on, especially the irritability (this happened to me really early on). This is why I highly recommend supplements to take with the medication, to combat negative side effects, help eliminate the irritable/emotional come down once the medication wears off as well, and help the medication work to its best potential. This will unfortunately happen regardless of what stimulate most people take.

These Supplements help greatly with multiple things, and have helped me and some of the clients I have seen that suffer from negative side effects, and can also greatly help even if you do not take ADHD stimulant medication.

1. N-Acetyl Tyrosine: This supplement helps boost Dopamine and Norepinephrine, those are the two neurotransmitters most stimulant medications work with. The crash that happens after the medication wears off is because those two neurotransmitters are lower temporarily, which is why people experience irritability, sadness etc. I take N-Acetyl Tyrosine an hour or 30min before my medication wears off and thankfully have not experienced the crash of medication ever since. Depletion of those two neurotransmitters is one of the reasons why stimulant medication stops working, and this supplement really helps out in that regard.

2. I take a supplement called R-Alpha Lipoic Acid which is known to one of the most powerful antioxidants out there. It really helps the medication work to its full potential while fighting off oxidation. Stimulant medication creates a large amount of oxidation that is not good for the body, and that can cause physical discomfort as well as mood swings because of it. This supplement helps my body feel at ease, and helps me mentally to mellow out.

3. L-Tryptophan: this supplement is helpful for increasing Serotonin levels, since people with ADHD lack this neurotransmitter as well, especially the Hyperactive and Combined Type subtypes of ADHD, it is highly beneficial. This supplement brings up the mood, and helps the body relax.

4. CoQ10 to keep his heart rate and blood pressure from rising and staying at a safe level. This is common with stimulant medication.

5. A good multivitamin with antioxidants.

If any of this sounds helpful and of your interest, you can click my pic and it will take you to my profile where I have a link in my bio that includes all these supplements as well all the ones I personally take, along with info as to why they help people with ADHD. I am not selling anything, the link will take you to a helpful google word doc I made that includes information on each supplement, what places sell it, and how much it costs. In my profile you will also find a link to a youtube video series I made, detailing problems people with Inattentive ADHD go through from Elementary school through adulthood. I made these because not much attention is given to the Inattentive subtype of ADHD, and not many people know about it. Hope this helps.

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Hidden in reply to Eclecticentric77

Thank you so much this is great information! 😊 I really think there was something up with me going through school too. I always failed and felt stupid and my parents and teachers thought I was just lazy. I wasn’t, I really didn’t get a lot of things. But it was the 80’s and I don’t think adults were thinking the way we do now. I turned to drugs as a teen because I always felt something was missing and I don’t want that for my son. That’s a major concern of mine. I’m definitely gonna check out the link and YouTube thanks again!

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Eclecticentric77 in reply to Hidden

You're very welcome, my best regards to you and your son.

To answer a question you asked, there is no proven role for CBD oil in the management of ADHD. It appears to have effects on anxiety (with no comparison to the effects of the existing anxiety medications) but none on the core symptoms of ADHD.

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Hidden in reply to Elijah1

He has alot of anxiety he used to throw up everyday before school. The cbd oil was a thought, just figured it’s more natural. How great it would be if that was a cure all. Thanks for the info 😊

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Elijah1 in reply to Hidden

Yet this "natural" treatment has potential side effects and interactions with other medications (yes, it should be categorized as a medication since a form of it will soon be available as a prescription seizure medication). Good luck with you son and take it one day at a time (it is a good way not to let the issues get to you).

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Thank you so much this is great information! 😊 I really think there was something up with me going through school too. I always failed and felt stupid and my parents and teachers thought I was just lazy. I wasn’t, I really didn’t get a lot of things. But it was the 80’s and I don’t think adults were thinking the way we do now. I turned to drugs as a teen because I always felt something was missing and I don’t want that for my son. That’s a major concern of mine. I’m definitely gonna check out the link and YouTube thanks again!

Hi Nicky,

I’m new here too. I have a 14 year old son, that I said I would never put on medication, but he’s been on meds since he was in first grade. He was diagnosed in kindergarten but, I just couldn’t give him medication without being with him 24/7. We waited until summer to start so if there was a bad reaction to the meds we would see it first hand. We started with conserta. An after about a year we started to notice some personality changes. Then I had a conversation with my niece (she was 22 at this time) who was diagnosed with add when she was in elementary school. She felt that conserta mad her go crazy after being on it for so long. I felt that this may have been the reason why my son’s personality was changing. It’s very difficult when puberty starts kicking in too! We also thought that he would only be on medication until he was old enough to understand and handle his add. This brought on another thought of when it came time to weening him off the meds, you can’t breakup the conserta tablets to slowly bring him off it. We then decided to put him on vyvanse. This is a capsule instead of a tablet to easily make adjustments. After all that, our sons personality didn’t change! He would be an “A” student but hates to study, so he misses the AB honors do to forgetting to turn in assignments etc. He’s also having a very difficult time making friends. In a group of people he has a hard time with making conversation but, if he’s speaking to one or two people, who aren’t intimidating he’s fine. He’s very sweet but tries to be tough like some of the boys at school and it throws everyone off, they don’t know how to relate to him. We’re having him completely re-evaluated in June to see if there’s any other way we can help him communicate and feel more confident about himself. We want to give him every advantage to start high school next fall.

Hope this helps some of you thinking of use medication.

My 14 year old son is on meds since 6th grade, he got in so much trouble...we are homeschooling him....we were against meds for ever but something had to change..they are the best thing for him and us ...when meds are is a long took us also 2 years to find the right meds and honestly the homeschooling thing has honestly been a great option for our family and my husband and I both work outside the house but we make it work

Hi Nicole. The more you can learn the easier the journey. Attached is an amazing video from an ADHD expert. This will give you a good grounding in all the basics. Join your local CHADD group. You will find a great support group and resources. Since you have a son, check out ADHD Dude on Facebook and YouTube. Great practical advice. There’s a live Facebook lecture this coming Friday through his Facebook site specifically on boys and ADHD. All his videos are also available there. Good luck and all the best.

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