How do you communicate daily kid issues with your spouse?

[regardingtheboys]

I primarily stay home with the kids. My husband is great with the kids after work. However, he does not have the bandwidth left to deal with the ADHD daily recap from me in the evening. I don't usually need his help in solving any of the issues, but can't stop sharing negative info from school/sports etc. He thinks I have become very negative, which is probably true. He jokes I should make a "bad news" folder for him to review on the weekend. Has anyone figured out a way to keep your spouse in the know without being a daily downer?

[Pennywink]

Unless it's something a teacher or coach approached me about, something I need my husband to help handle, or just something BIG, I probably would just pass on sharing the small stuff. I also don't report things in front of the children

[Hidden]

Your not alone in this concern...it is a very real concern here too. Since I am a stay-at-home mom I am the one doing the phone consultations with the psychiatrist, talking with the therapist, handling all the meds and supplements and getting the children off to school morning and working with them after school.There are days I feel like I am running circles around my husband when he gets home from work and I also struggle with knowing how to keep him in the loop without overwhelming him with all the little things. But I find if you don't have someone to talk to about all those little things, the little things will pile up till you have a mountain and then some day that mountain may just experience a volcano! That's why our psychiatrist always says,"How are YOU feeling,mom? Are you taking care of yourself?" When talking about my day,I like to use the sandwich approach...start with something positive, a funny happening, a goal reached, children's good behavior, then move on to any negative and finish on the positive again. It is so easy to see all negative, but it is amazing how many positives there can be in a day, when we put forth the effort to look for them. And like was already mentioned, try not to bring up the negative in front of the children.

[anirush]

I know how he feels. I had a teacher that would tell me every afternoon everything my daughter had done wrong at school. It got to be when I went to pick my daughter up I would hide so the teacher couldn't see me.

It's hard to deal with all this on your own. I've always done all the medication, doctor's visits , teachers conferences.

I see a counselor myself that I can vent to. It has helped so much and she also sometimes shows me that I'm over reacting on certain things.

[momwifedaughtersis]

Hello, I have a different perspective. I work outside the home, full time at a demanding job. My husband works full time also, but in stereotypical fashion I (the mom) manage vast majority of the ADHD “stuff” (our son is 7 and we have a 3 yo also). I don’t think it’s fair for your husband to call you “negative” and expect you to bottle things up and feed him a cliff’s notes version of life with your kid with ADHD. My hardest day at the office is *nothing* compared to the dealing with my son. It’s not even comparable. Obviously I don’t know your situation and I’ve never been in your shoes. I just think SAHM is the hardest job there is (even without ADHD in the mix!) and you deserve full emotional support from your spouse.

[16571498K]

( strictly serious) Hello, I am a fortysix years old man, with a single position and during the last t4 years i have been cooking the "know-how" to be able to feel and known myself as the besto possible decision not only for reasons linked to the social - and so boring- narrative that these pollitically correct context is waving and...if i learn to swimmjust because a narrative obeys me I try to understand how come that a group of concepts tied on a couple of "smart" verbs properly distributed as if they were a kind of sophisticated scripts giving orders to a computer, my following step is to make the narrative feels what it is: that thing i have mentioned. As a side effect, the black box of that group of words stablish its own back propagation to ask for the people and their individual behavior that gave light to that Frankenstaein monster: i learned to build my iown contradictions and my advice is that if you do your best, a child has the insgiht to read it. If you don´t accept that he or she - your son- needs to learn that his (her) father or maothe r are human, if the problem id that one related to our inside fights: enjoy your freedom. A children must learn ( and have to first) to comprehensevily interiorize that freedom is a deep deep concept: as the mistery of God.