How do I communicate the diagnosis to my son?

[adhdhelpforlolo]

My 7 year old son was recently diagnosed with ADHD (combined). My question is what is the best way to explain this to him? He is sensitive and I am concerned that it will somehow affect his self-esteem. Any thoughts/advice is welcomed.

[EJsMom]

That is such a tough question and really depends on the individual.

My son’s pediatrician actually explained it to him. She said not everyone’s brain works exactly the same, everyone is made unique and special. Like some are good at sports and some are good at math and some like race cars and some like to sew. (She had lots of good examples that a kid would understand) Then she said some of us need a little extra help with focusing and sitting still and those things. And there’s nothing wrong with that, those people can still become whatever they want.

I think she brought up some famous people with adhd too.

Anyway that was when he was about 7.

He just said ok and accepted it matter of fact, as kids will do. He didn’t start asking questions about it until he was like 12-13. He’s now 14, and he knows he’s a bit different but he has a huge self esteem, like he thinks he’s Einstein.

(He read somewhere that they now think Einstein may have had ADD or autism)

[Onthemove1971]

adhdhelpforlolo-

I find this is often more of a struggle for parents than children from my experience. I start out by asking questions like, "you know when you... try to focus on things and you brain tends to wonder off to think about something else?" or you know when you " did you notice that you tend to talk and talk a lot more than other kids your age" (you are really listing the symptoms of ADHD that you know your child has) when he says yes, I do that you can say well the doctors have a fancy medical work for that it's ADHD... and explain it from there and the tell him all of the positive thing that he has (creativity, independent. thinker...)

Kids often know about their problems but don't talk about them or know how to put them into words.

Then of course tell him how much you love him and that just because he "thinks differently" it just means that he might need support in certain areas in school.

Then see where the discussion leads from there.. If he was like my son he might say... I know mom, I have known for a long time and then he said " can I go play basketball? love you! When he left I cried..

[Niko2012]

Hello,

I’ve learned that all kids and people in general are different, so I don’t think he should feel or know he’s any different than any other child with a diagnosis Sometimes doing so can make him feel out of his comfort More. Knowing he has ADHD, it may hinder is abilities more. As long as you know he needs more attentiveness in some areas that’s all that matters, understanding him more will allow him to feel less anxiety about his diagnosis.

My son is 6, and struggles with all the symptoms that come along with ADHD, but I just modify his surroundings and ways of doing things so he can feel as normal as any other child. As parents we try and comfort so many things that simply come along with just being a child and learning ways of doing things differently. ADHD or not each child has different realms of comfort. I hope that helps ❤️

[Vickie109]

My son was also 7 when diagnosed and has combined type. His doctor explained a little bit. But I found reading a book for kids called "Cory Stories" helped explain the best for him to really "get it". Might be other books for kids available too. For me this was easiest to start with, then talk about it. My son loved this book and asked me to read it to him every day for almost a week. Hope that helps.

[Cherryo]

My son was almost 7 when he was diagnosed. This kind of conversation came out quite naturally at dinner time when the subject of ADD came up (through a story of a cousin who broke and arm has ADD too). The way I explained it to him is something like - think of your brain as a super charged car but with bike brakes. To this he responded, "that's not going to work. I'll skedaddle!" And I said, that's right, that's why your parents, teachers and community are here to help and guide you strengthen your brakes. We will work together. There's nothing wrong with you, just different way of thinking. And he got that explanation. This was the beginning of our journey. Like what the others are saying, gauge it according to what feels comfortable for your family. But cheers to you for being honest to your child!