Hello ADHD parents

I am new here. I have a 12 year old son diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety at a young age. He will start counseling again soon. We have decided not to do meds yet. As an infant he had a few developmental delays for which he received early intervention, speech and OT services. He finally got an IEP this school year and it seems to help some. He has become more organized and patient with homework as well. Some days his behavior is too much and I feel the ultimate mom guilt if I’m too hard on him. But I’ve been educating myself more and have become more patient in trying to understand him and what he’s going through. So here I am in hopes that The support and resources offered will help moving forward.

[Onthemove1971]

Welcome to the group, we are here for you and can't wait for you to contribute to the posts.so we.can learn from you.

I am curious about what your fears are for using medication? Many parents new to the ADHD worry about the medication "changing" their child's personality and making the sleepy. When the type of medication is correct, the dose is correct and the timing is correct, the only thing you will notice is they do not have any of the symptoms and not be impulsive ( lack judgement, manage life better and talk they do not talk excessively ).

Many studies show that they are even less likely to use substances as they grow older.

Again, welcome... we are all on a journey and our needs change as we travel together.

Big hugs!

[Hidden in reply to Onthemove1971]

Hi Onthemove1971 and thank you. As far as the meds, I’m not against them, but I’m saving that as my last resort. In working with his dr, I will try as many other things first and if they prove to be unsuccessful in his behavior or academic success then that’s something I will need to explore. I just don’t think he’s severe enough to need it at this point. And yes, I do have a concern of what effect it would have on him. I work in the adult mental health field and I see everyday what medications can do to someone. I guess I will cross that bridge when I get there.

[ADHD_DAD]

Hi. Welcome. I felt exactly like you with medication at first. I was afraid it would drug away his personality. I was wrong. Now I feel guilty for withholding medications initially and making him suffer unnecessarily. I would never withhold Tylenol for a fever, but yet I withheld medications which would have minimized his ADHD symptoms, made him more comfortable and allowed hi.to be his true self. Even now, I question why I ever did that. ADHD meds are like glasses. They help him focus. I got him glasses in first grade, but I withheld meds at first. I wish I hadn't done that. I believe that you will also get on board with medications and never look back. Just don't beat yourself up for withholding them. Remember how you feel now and that you thought you were doing what was best. Good luck to you.

[Hidden in reply to ADHD_DAD]

Hi.. Thank you for sharing that.

[Onthemove1971 in reply to ADHD_DAD]

Thank you for posting this. The other thought I had, and we hear this a lot. Why would anyone want to wait until it got worse? Treat now so it doesn't get worse. Getting the correct type,dose and timing for some take a long time and being in a bad situation and hoping the first pill he it is not realistic. It takes a child psychiatrist and some times 3 to 4 trials. But the results are life changing, very close to normal while on medication.

Best of luck!

[Janice_H]

Hi you are doing the right thing by becoming more knowledgeable about his condition and ways to cope with difficult days. I have a 12 y.o. with ADHD. He was diagnosed in kindergarten and has had an IEP since 1st grade. The days he is not on medication are aweful for me. I hate being home with my son on these days. I think if you give medication a try, you would have less stressful days due to behavior and meltdowns.

[Hidden]

I really do appreciate and respect the advice which is why I am here. But his behavior is manageable at the moment and his academics are improving. So at the moment, we’re not rushing towards the meds.

[Murphish]

Every child is different. Every family is different. You have to do what you think is best for your child in your situation. I have a 12 yo son w adhd, odd, and anxiety. I tried him on meds twice-at both 9 and 11 years old. I did so over my husbands objections (talk about bad family dynamics). First trial was of long acting stimulants. They made my son incredibly anxious and did not help his adhd. Fast forward a couple of years and we tried guanfacine. During this trial he developed an eating disorder that he’s just now starting to get over a year later as well as some other unsavory side effects. My sense is that the meds unmasked other problems lurking below the surface, but we certainly don’t need to unearth extra symptoms.

It’s complicated. I’m a medical practitioner who firmly believes in western medicine. But sometimes it doesn’t work. I’m glad I tried different meds for my son. I had to try everything, but I also accept that they aren’t the right treatment for him at this time.

He has an iep, we’ve done behavioral therapy, he’s currently doing CBT, and we keep him super active.

It’s great that meds help so many families dealing w adhd, but let’s not make assumptions about those who chose another path.

[Hidden in reply to Murphish]

Yes I agree, thank you. I will never say I’m against it or judge anyone who chooses that route but at the moment we are not there. My son will start behavior therapy this month, Im crossing my fingers that this will also help some- especially his anxiety.

[ConfrontingChallenge]

Welcome to the group. Reading, learning, and sharing has enlightened our journey and it will enlighten yours as well.

[Hidden in reply to ConfrontingChallenge]

Yes, I feel like it’s all helping. Thank you.

[ConfrontingChallenge in reply to Hidden]

Recommended reading: Driven to Distraction by Edward Halloway, MD.

After reading it, I bought copies for family members and all my son’s teachers.

[Hidden]

I will look into it. The doctor recommended “ADHD: What Every Parent Needs To Know.” So I’ve just started reading that.

[Cjkchamp]

My son has been in treatment services since right before his 4th birthday and we have been down the medication road. For us, broad spectrum micronutrients worked best. I encourage you to investigate them. There are two companies, Hardy Nutritionals and True Hope.

[Hidden in reply to Cjkchamp]

I’ve never heard of broad spectrum micronutrients. Will def look into it. Thank you for the info.