My 15 year old son has always struggled with negativity, low frustration tolerance and emotional dysregulation, since a very young age. He also has other quirks like making noises for no reason, fidgeting, interrupting, apparent lack of an internal monologue (if he thinks it, he says it). He is particular about what fabrics he wears, doesn't like pants with seams at his knees, has to have his pants and sleeves tucked into his boots and mittens "just so" in winter, and has an extreme needle phobia. But he's also sweet, smart, kind, helpful, and is developing a hilariously dry sense of humour. He is very athletic and loves sports.
A little less than two years ago he was diagnosed with Impulsive presentation ADHD as part of an educational assessment. Up until that point, we'd relied on his teachers to make adjustments for him, but by Junior High, there were more teachers that had to understand and get to know him, and homework became a horrific struggle, for both him, and us. So in the interest of helping him with school, we paid a private clinic for an assessment. To get one that was covered by health insurance would have taken an unreasonably long time.
Working with some teachers can still be a struggle. He has one that will only give him the accommodations he's supposed to have if my son asks him for them directly. The teacher doesn't seem to appreciate that at 15, a child with ADHD may not have the executive function to advocate for themself the way a neurotypical teenager might.
His dad and I work hard to help him manage the different aspects of his disability, and to teach him coping mechanisms and skills to help work through things. He is also on medication for the ADHD and we've worked with him and his Dr. to find the lowest dose that helps keep him from being too disruptive or distracted at school.
Our current issue is with a coach who is unwilling to make any accommodations for his disability. For much of his life I have been his coach, so I have been able to manage his play time, to try to keep his stress levels from getting out of control. I haven't always been successful, but with each episode we learn more.
Now that he is older and playing at a higher level, and playing high school sports he had other coaches. We are struggling with getting his current coach to understand that the difficulties he has managing his emotions when he's frustrated with missing shots, or gets hit or knocked down in a game, or when a ref makes a bad call, are related to the ADHD. Its not "antics". Its not something you can simply tell him to stop. Punishing or benching him is not going to magically fix his emotional dysregulation.
So I am here hoping to get some support and any insight or suggestions parents with similar struggles may be willing to share.
IEP or 504 Plan Feedback: any stigma for your child?
Write School for kid ADHD and Learning Disability
7 year old recently diagnosed with inattentive adhd and also anger/temper problems 
Struggling
