To label or not to label? Need help!

[MissOz]

Hello everyone,

My daughter is 7 years old, and has been diagnosed with ADHD. However, there are things that cannot be explained by this diagnosis alone. For example: difficulty with social communication, oral aversions (picky eater, will not eat many things that “typical” kids like, such as: popcorn, cake, ice cream, any type of fruit juices, etc... Of course fruits and vegetables are on the list of things she won’t eat), and mild anxiety.

I was on the waiting list at the best autism clinic where I live, and when they finally called me, months later, I did not have the courage to move forward! The psychologist who tested my daughter for ADHD, and did include in the report that “ASD characteristics were observed” told me: “why do you want to put this heavy label on this child?” It’s such a heavy label that is unfortunately so misunderstood... My mother told me the same thing, that we live in a cruel world where labels can isolate and make life harder for a child. If she is autistic it is a very mild case.

I don’t know what to do. Should I have her tested and confirm or rule out autism for once and for all, or should I leave things as they are? She currently sees a speech therapist, and started a social skills group. Would a diagnosis change anything as far as treatment?

Thank you. Any guidance would be much appreciated.

[Mommyofahero]

This totally sounds like my 8yr old son. I have held off on the exam before the same reasons. It is extremely heavy on my heart. I wish you luck & God bless you guys!😊

[Onthemove1971]

MissOz- thanks for posting us what you are going te through. Many of our children who "just" have ADHD hadlve all those issues ( picky eating, awkward socially) and not Autism. The reason to find out if she has Autism is because your son could qualify for some training to improve his/your life.

If you have not done yet rely read about ADHD. Then make a list of other symptoms he has for you to could ask about.

The symptoms for desired behavior is something to look at for Autism.

Take care during this challanging journey.

Big hugs.

[Cjkchamp]

I think you are in good company right now. We don’t want “labels” we want to know what’s going on and what we can do to help. In my opinion I don’t think that can happen until we have a diagnosis. My sister went round and round with my nephews school. Once that evaluation came back with ASD and ADHD it gave everyone a view of what was going on and made them work toward helping my nephew be successful. Only you can decide what is best for you and your child. Wishing you continued courage to face every day.

[Shamasamdrew]

I am the parent of a child with ADHD and a speech language pathologist. I often say when I am treating and wearing my SLP hat, that I am only treating symptoms. So, you can call it whatever you like, I am only treating the way the diagnosis manifests itself differently than typical development. In that mindset, sometimes for me, a diagnosis isn’t the biggest thing. It sounds like you are pursuing great treatment, I would maybe consider getting her evaluated by an OT and that might help with some of the symptoms you described.

Now, if I’m wearing my parent hat, I will also tell you the flip side of why a diagnosis could be important. If you are pursuing services, an IEP, a 504 plan etc. with your school district, having a diagnosis or more than one could smooth out the pathway with your school district to get what is needed in terms of accommodations and services. I also am from the firm belief that as a parent, I would want to know every diagnosis that was present so that I could advocate for my child to the best of my ability. So, I guess, in the end, I would look at it from that lens as well. Hope this helps. I know it is not an easy decision.

[RhondaN in reply to Shamasamdrew]

Miss Oz ..there is some great wisdom, professional experiences and parental insights here. Lets step out side of our own fear based reactions (so typical been there done that) and move into a arena that will offer every opportunity for our children to be happy, successful, loving young people. Knowledge is power .XO

[Pennywink in reply to Shamasamdrew]

I second everything Shamasamdrew said.

[MissOz in reply to Shamasamdrew]

Thank you very much for your input. It has helped me a lot.

[nycgirl56 in reply to Shamasamdrew]

Excellent advice. Once my son received his proper diagnosis the school was able to give him a classification and they kicked in with services that helped him get throughout school.

[Sabio77]

Hi MissOz, My son is now 25 years old and is a very picky eater. He was diagnosed with adhd. It is something That I urge you and any other parents out there who are facing the same situation, to get your child tested. My view point is, you want what is best for your child. I wanted to see what made my son tick inside his mind. So I could understand him more. Yes, this is a process and I'm so happy to have done it. You do not need to tell everyone about your sons private situations unless it is medical personnel or counselors. Yes, a support group for children with adhd or autism... or any other illness, needs to be sought after for their well being and best life style possible. Just because they may not be the norm likes and dislike, does not mean that they can't live normally. I also have a disabled daughter. she is now living on her own and working, and graduated from college with an associates degree just because , we the parents are there for them, helping them become the best they can be. It takes great patience, and forgiveness. I strongly urge you and other parents to seek testing and make sure and then proceed to support groups, get those special foods they like. help them develop their God given talents so they can use them as they get older. Hugs to you Keep me posted how things turn out.

[MissOz in reply to Sabio77]

Thank u very much.

[MissOz in reply to Sabio77]

Thank you very much for your help.

[Sabio77 in reply to MissOz]

just checking on you... how are things going?

[MissOz in reply to Sabio77]

I called the clinic, apologized for canceling the test last time and made new appointments. It’s true. Knowledge is power, and I need to know what there is to know.

[MissOz in reply to Sabio77]

And something you said made me think... I need to comprehend what she has, so I understand why she behaves the way she does.

[Sabio77 in reply to MissOz]

Yes, that is good that you realize that. the more insight you have the more knowledge of how to take care of her. prayers for the family and all that is involved. keep me in touch that's. here for any questions.... your friend, hugs

[nycgirl56 in reply to MissOz]

Yes! Knowledge is power and the more you understand your child's conditions the more of an asset you'll be for the school. The school didn't always have the right solution for little things that would come up like with my son's learning style. But I was able to show the school what worked at home. It was a team effort partnering with the school and that really helped my son.

[Sabio77 in reply to MissOz]

missOz how are things going... its been a while and iv been thinking about you.

[Janice_H]

Sometimes when we face so many uncertainties, it feels more comfortable to not do anything at all. You must move forward to get the correct diagnosis and services for your baby. Only you are the advocate so you must take action instead of watching time go past with no results. You will be missing out on much needed services your child needs. Be brave and best of luck with everything.