A Bad Day...Feeling Isolated

[Mamab3]

My 14 year old daughter has ADD, ODD, Anxiety, and Depression. It's a roller coaster with her. As we have set into the new school year I am starting to see doctors, therapy, and school meetings increase. Matter of fact I have 6 appointments next week just for her. I also have 2 other children that I home school. My own anxiety set in full force today unfortunately, but also a little depression. My busy life with the kids and their extracurricular activities plus a child with special needs is taking up all of my time and head space. I already see a therapist and take a anti-anxiety medication as needed. I try to maintain a good attitude even if it feels fake. My therapist thinks my husband and I should join a support group. We don't talk to anyone about our daughter and our struggles. We've tried with our best friends, but they just don't get it. And our families would never understand they are very close minded. We have even had friends we've know for years stop talking to us because our daughter is considered a bad influence. So we just stay in our little world to also preserve her privacy. It gets very lonely. On the outside we look like the perfect family. I'm sure many of you can relate. Thanks for reading.

[Janice_H]

You are not alone. What you describe is exactly how I feel most days. My 11 y.o. has ADHD and a learning delay. I feel as though my whole existence is about resolving his educational concerns and organizing his life. Home time is very exhausting, frustrating and chaotic with very little time for friends our social outlets. My family does not understand and is not very supportive in terms of helping. Like you say, on the outside it appears as though I have it all together, however inside I am dying, feeling lonely, isolated and extremely depressed over the situation.

[hurtingdaily in reply to Janice_H]

Hugs to you. This is my life too with my 11 y.o. son. I feel numb with the stressdul afternoon routine and worry about his future.

What's his specific delay? My son just doesn't know how to socially interact - has no friends. Also has focus and processing delays.

[Janice_H in reply to hurtingdaily]

I worry about his future also and wonder if he will graduate and be successful. It must be tough with not having friends. My son has a processing delay and struggles badly with comprehension and math.

[Mamab3 in reply to Janice_H]

We are going to look into support groups. That's all we can do. I'm a pretty positive person and used to look forward to things in the future. Now I just take it day by day. I don't set too high of expectations so I'm not constantly disappointed.

[Aniusia]

Hello, you are not alone. Our story is very similar. My adult siblings don’t know my son has adhd. Grandparents don’t know either . It is such a complex problem I feel they wouldn’t understand.

Many times we don’t go to family events because I can’t enjoy, I am constantly checking what is my son doing, is he careful with younger kids, is he doing something he shouldn’t? I look for excuses not to go to avoid shame and explanations.

Look for other moms with kids with adhd. Either here on somewhere else. Be strong.

[Mamab3 in reply to Aniusia]

Yes...my plan is to find support groups for me and my husband. Hopefully that will help with the loneliness.

[Mamab3]

Also...I find myself trying to keep up with charade when talking about daughter's school. I want to sound normal, but usually get nervous and put my foot in my mouth. I'm a bad liar. Ugh sometimes it's so embarrassing. I hear about these other kids and how great they are doing and I just want to crawl under a rock. It's probabaly best I keep quiet and keep my bubble small.

[dubstepMaul]

hi Mamab, boy do i understand and remember what it is like struggling to help your child, while keeping your household running, and maintain your sanity. Especially the close-minded family, that was very painful for me not having their support. My son is an adult now and still has issues but he tells me now that i did right by him when raising him and he appreciates my constant advocacy. Hang in there you are not alone.