Feeling heartbroken today

[Mudpies]

Oh, how we struggle.

A.D.H.D.

Take my hand and come with me,

I want to teach you about ADHD.

I need you to know, I want to explain,

I have a very different brain.

Sights, sounds, and thoughts collide.

What to do first? I can't decide.

Please understand I'm not to blame,

I just can't process things the same.

Take my hand and walk with me,

Let me show you about ADHD.

I try to behave, I want to be good,

But I sometimes forget to do as I should.

Walk with me and wear my shoes,

You'll see its not the way I'd choose.

I do know what I'm supposed to do,

But my brain is slow getting the message through.

Take my hand and talk with me,

I want to tell you about ADHD.

I rarely think before I talk,

I often run when I should walk.

It's hard to get my school work done,

My thoughts are outside having fun.

I never know just where to start,

I think with my feelings and see with my heart.

Take my hand and stand by me,

I need you to know about ADHD.

It's hard to explain but I want you to know,

I can't help letting my feelings show.

Sometimes I'm angry, jealous, or sad.

I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and mad.

I can't concentrate and I lose all my stuff.

I try really hard but it's never enough.

Take my hand and learn with me,

We need to know more about ADHD.

I worry a lot about getting things wrong,

Everything I do takes twice as long.

Everyday is exhausting for me...

Looking through the fog of ADHD.

I'm often so misunderstood,

I would change in a heartbeat if I could.

Take my hand and listen to me,

I want to share a secret about ADHD.

I want you to know there is more to me.

I'm not defined by it, you see.

I'm sensitive, kind and lots of fun.

I'm blamed for things I haven't done.

I'm the loyalist friend you'll ever know,

I just need a chance to let it show.

Take my hand and look at me,

Just forget about the ADHD.

I have real feelings just like you.

The love in my heart is just as true.

I may have a brain that can never rest,

But please understand I'm trying my best.

I want you to know, I need you to see,

I'm more than the label, I am still me!!!!

~Author Unknown

With all that I am I desire to want to spend time with my son but he drives me insane. 💔

He can’t take stimulants so the pediatrician has referred us to a psychiatrist. We still have two weeks before our intake appointment and I’m loosing my mind. I feel terrible for feeling like I do, for not having more patience, more empathy. Someone please tell me it’s all going to be ok.

[MunchkinMommy537]

Beautiful poem. You are not alone, and you’re only human. It’s perfectly normal to feel these things. A psychiatrist will help, so try taking little breaks when you can (even if you have to pretend to be using the bathroom). You’re doing a good job even when you don’t think you are.

[Mudpies in reply to MunchkinMommy537]

Thank you SO much!!! I needed to “hear” that tonight more than I would like to admit.

[Doglady28]

You are going to make it to the other side. I never used to believe it either, and every day I wanted to run away...I was just so overwhelmed by the tantrums, defiance,school issues, etc. Just take it one day at a time. You can do it, because you DO love your son, you just want to SEE your son and not the ADHD. I get it. The psychiatrist will help both of you. Much love.

[Mudpies in reply to Doglady28]

Thank you!! I feel so overwhelmed. My husband is sick and has been since last November so I’m alone in this and our 3 (almost 4) year old is now copying everything his older brother does. I have been doing this for nearly and I am truly starting to feel like this is never going to end. I needed to hear your response. 💗

[WendyKirkpatrick]

This is a very beautiful writing. I am so impressed. I too have put my thoughts in writing. I am the mother of an adult son with ADHD. I wrote, illustrated and self-published a childrens' book on Amazon.com and Createspace.com called "I have A.D.D. and I'm Proud to Be Me." by Wendy Kirkpatrick. For years I had all of these thoughts and feelings about what the child with the condition feels like, growing up, having problems in school, making friends, feeling different, being treated with hostility and all the damage it does to them emotionally. Also, the medications that have very bad side effects and in our case, did nothing to help him academically. I also emphasized the need for family love and communication to give each other strength to not only live with your child's condition, but to appreciate and value all of the many wonderful qualities, talents and strengths your child does have. You are a very talented person and I will re-read your poem when I have time. It was very moving. Wendy Kirkpatrick

[Mudpies in reply to WendyKirkpatrick]

Oh, I didn’t write it. I’m not sure who wrote it. It just hit home for me and was so moving I really wanted to share it with this group because I knew I wouldn’t be judged for sharing it here. FB is a no go for me when it comes to sharing personal things about my family so this is my support group. 💗

[WendyKirkpatrick]

No problem there. If you were kind enough to share this poem with people, that was a very nice thing to do, regardless of who wrote it. I agree about Facebook. I have heard stories about employers checking employees' Facebook pages for reasons unknown. There are privacy violation issues on social media. I feel much more comfortable with this site as well. Thanks for writing.

[Nla1]

I LOVE YHIS POEM ♥️♥️♥️

I realized that when I took MORE time to love and encourage and enjoy my 6yr old boy with ADHD on his terms with his favorite activities, I was able to let go and build something extra special with him.

Its so hard some days and then there are amazing moments.

We aren’t giving meds, just loads of physical activity breaks.. building concentration with puzzles and legos and drawing activities & I LISTEN TO HIM MORE.

Sending you a huge hug. Keep believing in your child. It’s not psychological- it’s just that they process information all four ways at the same exact time. IT WILL BE OK! “The super power of all successful entrepreneurs is ADD & ADHD”

♥️♥️♥️

[lovemykidtobits]

Your words reflect my feelings exactly. There are many moments I scream “I hate adhd!”

I reflected on your question “will it be ok?” I think it will absolutely be ok for you and me. Okay may look different than for parents w neurotypical children but we will arrive at a place of gradual acceptance and pride for the children we raised. We are called to be exceptional parents and that will make it ok.

Sending you support as you await your appointment. You are not alone. Thanks for sharing the poem.

[braveboysmom]

My son has complex ADHD diagnosed at age 6. He is currently 12. He also has dysgraphia. He was evaluated and diagnosed at Riley Child Development Center here in Indianapolis. While it certainly helps to get that diagnosis and treatment plan, I wish I could tell you that there is a fix. We use the Daytrana patch as a tool to help him focus during school hours. We have tried every medication there is on the market and this one is the only one that helps without major side-effects. We tried counseling for a short period of time, however, it did not significantly help us. I have worked at Riley Child Development Center and knew everything the counselor was teaching. Therefore, I discontinued that because for us it was a waste of time. The most difficult part of this ADHD life is getting family members to understand that parenting him is not as cut and dry as it is for a typical child. Prior to evaluation and treatment, we were in crisis mode. I have been in your shoes. Please, please keep positive communication between you and your son first priority. Even on the really tough days, make sure he knows that you love him and will always be there for him. It is so important for moms to lift each other up. We all have tough days. I just pray and do the best I can.

[Mudpies in reply to braveboysmom]

The positive communication is what I am struggling with the most. He is so negative and always wants to be in control. Nothing is ever good enough and no matter how hard I try all he does is complain and whine about how he never gets what he wants. He is honestly driving me crazy. When I try to talk to him he just screams at me and stomps his feet. I clearly don’t have the skill set to deal with this (day in and day out) and I don’t even know where to start to get help for myself in that regard. He is such a horrible example for our almost 4 year old who copies everything his big brother does so now I’m dealing with two acting that way on top of dealing with my husband who was diagnosed schizo-effective a year ago and trying to work full time. There are days I just want to put my 4 year old in the car and drive away. I honestly feel like I’m loosing my mind. Any suggestions you may have for keeping my cool and creating that positive communication would be super helpful! I’m open to any ideas. Thank you for your reply!!

[Teresa12626 in reply to Mudpies]

Anytime he does something without you asking anytime he does something good thank him for it or tell him good job i know it can be hard but it can be for the littlest thing the more postive he hears the better. In a class i took they told us to try and say 5 postive thing for every negative thing we said to them it can be as simple as thanking them for actually picking something up or putting something away

[Seremom in reply to Mudpies]

I feel you so deeply. I am still reeling from another jangly weekend on the negative bus. I often say my son uses me as his ectopic person. Lost something? Mom Unhappy? Mom Sad? Mom. Need to make a random comment while My hands are overflowing meeting your needs? Mom. I know they don’t know, but sometimes I feel my brain is being invaded. Meds have helped, they are part of the battle. I am working with PCIT (parent child interaction therapy) to rebuild some shred of positivity. It works when I can muster it and it helps with buy in and working with and not against me. The book is on Amazon, the therapy is cool because they literally talk in your earpiece and encourage you and twllbyou what to say. There is a book for it on Amazon if it isn’t in your area. We need to be tought how to parent theae kids, they are a totally different animal. I have to believe the efforts will pay off or at least be far better than nothing. I’m not going to lie, it’s not a unilateral “it gets better” and I am not much for syrup. But your son will remember you never gave up, if nothing else. I love my kid, I honestly think a more “typical” kid would bore me to tears now, but they do ask us to rise. They ask everyone to rise and be better—better teachers, mentors, parents, society. When someone botches about teaching him I always put it back on them. What are you doing to help him? If you are only capable of teaching nice well behaved children that is your limitation, do you want to grow as a professional or blame a kid because he is not typical or easy enough for you to teach? That usually gets people thinking. Never let someone make you feel to blme or feel bd about the parent you are

[Mudpies in reply to Seremom]

Thank you so much!!

[Sallyjohnson12345]

It will be ok. And one day ... I don’t know when .... you will realize that you are blessed to have a child like this. Because most people don’t. They are a joy. They are filled with unconditional love. Your relationship with your child will be unending ... even as time taps away. You’ll see. You are lucky. So am I. Take advice from others. Listen to the teachers and doctors. Listen to your family and listen to your child. Do t surround yourself with anyone who is negative or anyone who gossips. That is their story .... not yours. Be strong. Fight through. You will be ok.

[Sallyjohnson12345]

And your poem is beautiful and so touching. I will print it and hang it up. At my home and at my job.

[Evie8582]

Thank you for the poem. It’s perfect! First thing is that you have to know you’re doing the best you can and That’s good enough! I think part of the problem is that for most of us, we don’t have ADHD so raising a child who has it changes how we planned to raise our children. It created a shift and a scary unknown. Therapy helped my son (he’s six) and me get on the same page and he was able to express to me how he feels. He also started medication and seeing the psychiatrist. It’s my dream team! It’s hard seeing the rest of the world and kids his age not behaving or having as much trouble as him. But then I always stop and tell myself 5 things that I love about who my son is. It usually helps the anxiety of trying to be perfect to a world so demanding of it. Learn to let go and just do what’s best for you and your family. That’s the hardest part. We do things differently not wrong or right, just different and even if you don’t believe it, you’d be amazed how much patience you really have. Don’t be so hard on yourself, it gets better. I promise.

[Mudpies in reply to Evie8582]

THANK YOU 💗