Feeling very overwhelmed and alone! - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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Feeling very overwhelmed and alone!


My son has just turned 5, he has yet to be diagnosed properly with ADHD, but my younger brother had it so I'm sure that is the issue at hand. I am taking him to the pediatrician today for a follow up visit and to talk about diagnosis and treatment. I have so far just been going the natural route, but I'm afraid his symptoms are too severe for these to help very much. He has always been a very active child, which I don't mind at all. But, as he grows older he is becoming more and more defiant. He gets in trouble at school constantly. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed right from the first interaction I have with him in the morning and just want to shut down. It's 8:55 am and I have already cried in my bathroom while he was eating breakfast at the table with his father. He has no focus, and it seems to come in waves. One week he is an angel, asking if he can help me with anything. The next week he is defiant on almost every level, distracted, emotional, and can't sit still at all. I'm trying the best I can and so is my husband, but it feels like I'm walking on eggshells some days. Anyone else feel the same?

17 Replies

please dont waste time like i did Go to neuro and get the diagnosis tell what you observe in him not directly say that he have ADHD ,doc will diagnose with his testing .

Please dn cry we all with you and God is with us .

Always try to help your child keep him guiding and telling . Love and hug him .

in reply to ha11

Thanks for the input! I give my kiddo tons of love, hugs, 1:1 attention, and family time with me and my hubby. Some days it just isn't enough for my little guy. But, we love him and will never stop supporting and nurturing him as much as we can. His pediatrician was very wonderful today and is fully supportive of natural supplements and behavioral therapy first.

in reply to Shotsymama

Amazinggg best of luck dearr

If you keep talking to him and work with him he will not get severe , my dear i have trust in God me too work hard with my 5 year kid and teachers really praise him If i leave he regress back but be strong.

I use to think ADHD was just bad parenting. Now I have my own child with this diagnosis. Boy was I wrong!

ADHD is definitely real! It encompasses a lot more than lack of attention. My son has 6 different diagnosis and I didn’t want any of them but they explain his behaviors. If anybody is changing in this relationship it is me!! We love our son but he is comfortable in chaos! God bless anyone who is raising an ADHD child!

in reply to Pajamasam36

It’s so true. My 11 year old takes 1 step forward and 2 steps back. He’s become so defiant and confrontational. It’s like we are in a constant state of chaos! He’s on meds and goes to therapy, but nothing seems to really work. All I hear is how disrespectful he is even when most days things don’t happen. It’s like when they do it’s the worst thing in the world. And he’s not starting fights or hitting people. It’s just basically sticking up for himself when being called out for his in attention or joking around. I don’t want him talking back to adults but I understand most of his relationships are him getting yelled at and not a lot of positive reinforcement. We try at home, but it’s like he’s so used to the negative he thrives in it.

Unfortunately, ADHD is a long term journey where all executive functions are not regulated.

I knew my daughter had it since she was 3, but couldn’t be diagnosed until 6. My husband was in denial until 2 months ago when my child, crying, told him: “ I don’t want to be different anymore and be called weird” I want to make it to college” .

That was the breaking point for her and my husband accepted the diagnosis and started the medication( we are still tweecking the dosis).

I’m not going to say is night and day, but it has helped us a little to manage her lack of focus and concentration. This has eased the homework dynamics/ struggle and teachers are noticing an improvement at school too. She continues to be defiant, and she needs a lot of support with emotional issues. Thus, we are starting cognitive behavioral therapy, school learning development accommodations, hiring a private tutor, declutering her room and will transition to a new diet soon.

Keep your child close to you and don’t let go of God’s hand. He will guide you. There is light at the end of the tunnel and you caught the diagnoses on time.

Good luck


This is my first time here and I am here for the same reason you are.

I have three children with ADHD my oldest being 8 yrs.

And am having trouble with my 5 yr old son who is More of an Attention Deficit Hyper Hyper Hyper Disorder with a whole lot of defiance. I feel overwhelmed sometimes and alone.

My son has good days and not so good days.

It’s very difficult parenting a child with ADHD my other two are different basically they are all different and the moment you master how to get them to pay attention and listen they change and you’re back to square one restarting.

I take each day one day at a time.

I have changed my perspective to a more positive one because we basically need to learn to live with our children having ADHD.

So when my child yells at me or jumps off the table or hits his siblings on purpose or purposely throws or spills things and says no no no a million times and runs around making messes

I simply remind myself

I’m not going to let it get the best of me

i remind myself I don’t get paid enough to get mad and it’s not worth it.

I am grateful that you shared your experience because I know I am not alone.

Does your 5 year old go to school? Mine is only in VPK, getting to the point where I'm scared he'll get kicked out. I feel terrible for him, he's such an awesome kid and I wish I knew how to just fix this. His teachers seem like since I have shared this possibility of ADHD diagnosis with them, they are seeing the negatives in his personality so much more. How do you handle school?

My son is in kindergarten

In preschool I constantly lived in fear of getting a call from administration waiting for him to get kicked out because he wouldn’t listen and would bite.

Once you share his diagnosis some teachers will focus on the negative making it more difficult for the child to succeed

It was one of the main issues I identified In adhd parenting class. When you focus on the negative at home or in the classroom the child only sees his failures making it harder to do his or her best because the child starts to believe they are bad or it is impossible to be good.

This year I have a teacher who understands him and tries to praise his good.

For my oldest daughter I experienced what you’re experiencing with the Teacher. The teacher she has this year is so positive and only points out her good qualities that my daughter has gained so much confidence in herself and went from being a very low reader to advanced.

The perspective of whom they interact with is very important.

I talk to my son about his behavior and try to reason with him what he believes he can accomplish and I tell him what I expect of him and he and I usually set a goal that is reachable for him.

Right now he gets to get a treat such as ice cream if he is good and does his best for 4 days out of the week.

I want to add that

Perhaps seeking occupational therapy to teach your child how to use his energy towards other things may help

My son gets occupational therapy through kaiser once a week andbit has helped him but has also helped me come up with ideas on how to focus his energy in doing good things such as moving furniture( I don’t need it moved around but it’s an excuse for him to use his energy) help bring the heavy stuff in from the groceries, helping me do lawn work or organize it mentally exhaust him.

I agree with ha11: go to a specialist but don’t tell them one thing. Let them make the diagnosis. Also don’t rule out what you know in your heart to be true if it isn’t diagnosed at first. My son was officially diagnosed with ADHD and mild autism, when we were experiencing an anxiety disorder. The Dr said he didn’t seem to have anxiety that was higher that what would be normal in someone with the other two diagnosis, but I knew that was at least partially a problem. We went through 8 different medications before trying to treat his anxiety, which made the biggest difference. Now that we’re seeing a psychiatrist, she said we have to get his mood and anxiety controlled before we can treat the ADHD, because stimulant medications will only exacerbate his behavior (whether good or bad). You definitely are not alone, and this is a great site for support.

Thank you so much to everyone who is sharing this experience with me!

It is my first time reaching out and becoming part of an online support group.

This really is a wonderful find for me! I am feeling less alone already. My husband is very calm and supportive, but we are learning how to handle everything one day at a time together. It's all new, everyday.

Thank you 😊

This is a scary time. I just went to pick up Concerta 18mg for my grandson on Thursday. He's out of school for the next few days, so I don't what a difference it has made yet. Point is we tried going natural looking at herbal remedies that you rub on them, made no difference. I just learned that the wrighted vest had improved is behavior, had him thinking about his choices and actions. I didn't know that so next thing I know I'm picking up meds that I'm not sure I should have.

When I sent a message to his Dr. About the possibility of meds he called back first thing. I want to turn back don't know if I can or if I should. I don't there's a right or a wrong. If home therapies like a weighted vest, therapy ball, or swings a things you can or can not afford and did work, maybe there maybe something in the meds that work or work along side therapy.

Stay in touch, well all go through this journey together towards progress.

Every single day!!! Thoughts running through my head about how did this happen...cringing when the phone rings because it’s probabky the school...wondering if things will ever get better...praying he makes it through life. You feel alone and nobody understands. Good job starting with the pediatrician. I love our pediatrician but even she said take him to a psychiatrist. You need an evaluation especially for school purposes. Contact your insurance and find out what neuropsychologists are covered and get an appointment. It’s the beginning of fighting to help your child navigate ADHD. At least it was what opened doors for my son getting help. Good luck!

Did your son get special ed services and occupational therapy in preschool. Seek service from your child's school. The earlier you school asap.

That's how I learned a weighted vests.

I agree with ha11, go to a neuro or psychologist they are better equipped to help you find a diagnosis. I personally just keep my pediatrician updated on what the psychologist is doing and recommending not the other way around. If my boys twist an ankle or have a cold then the pediatrician is the specialist for those things but for the mind and behavior I go straight to the people who devoted their studies on the brain and behavior. Plus you should look at your son's diet, write down what he eats and when his behavior changes. I have learned that our gut bugs are directly connected to our brains and can cause deficits if we are missing certain gut microbiomes. I have purchased a meal that has tons of organic veggies, protein, and probiotics to help balance out any nutrients my sons are missing in their diet as well as probiotics to help normalize the gut ecosystem. Its chalky with no taste so I mix it in the Nija with peanut butter or more organic fruits and veggies. You can ask your pediatrician about the gut microbiomes they may be excited to test your son's poo and tell you whats missing.

I stayed away from medication as long as I could but my son is now 15 and we are looking at driving lessons and he's wanting to go hang out unsupervised with his friends more so my husband is giving me the I don't care how skeptical you are of medication ...its time lol. I'm giving in but with non-stimulants and still staying hyper-focused on the effects of food and how it affects our ADHD babies. My son is a twice-exceptional child, he has a high IQ and inattentive ADHD which is why he was probably misdiagnosed twice by two different psychologists. Make sure you continue reading and learning Iknow you said you have life experience with your brother with ADHD, but every child may be very different.

Hope this helps....OK so the journal I added is super technical but these studies are being done even more today than ever. I am very interested in this research because the medication is only a band-aid to the symptoms of ADHD and I have heard a lot of mixed stories of the success of medication, If my son has to live with this his whole life I surely don't want him to be on medication forever so the alternative is diet. If I can teach him to know how to be responsible, like a child with asthma or allergies hopefully it will help him better understand how to work with his ADHD in the long run.


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