16 year old boy : Hi My son has been on... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

CHADD's ADHD Parents Together

14,885 members4,648 posts

16 year old boy

Kstox profile image

Hi

My son has been on ADHD MEDS since he was 8 years old. He is now 16. He continues to struggle in school.

This past summer we took a vacation from the meds. It really made me cry when I saw his true personality. He is so funny. But..,. Impulsive and basically all over the place.

He is a junior in high school now and I can’t see him being responsible enough to go to college. This truely breaks my heart because he is very bright . From having all these struggles it has affected his self esteem. I have noticed the past few years the anger when he is taking his meds. I also feel he has no drive/passion.

He has been on many different meds over the years. Right now he is taking

Concerta . He was taking intuitive with the concerta for the past 5 years and it was wonderful! ( if your child can’t sit still in class this is great). Now thT he is older he didn’t seem to need it( maturity).

But if anyone has had similar experiences please let me know what works for your 16 year d boy. He has a med check up and I think it’s time to change.

9 Replies

Hi. I haven't had a similar experience but reading your post makes me wonder what the future holds for my son. My son is 7. I took small breaks from the medicine this summer. I recognized the change in his personality like you mentioned and how much better he would eat. I just left a message for my doctor about adding a 2nd medicine to Concerta and seeing your post gives me some hope that this change will work.

I feel when my son gets older that he may have the same issues your son is experiencing and I want to follow this post to get some ideas. I can understand our kids frustration. I do not have ADHD but I have would could be considered a hidden disability. I have been taking at least 5 different medicines daily since my late teens due to replace hormones my body doesn't make. It took a long time before I found the right medicines that made me feel normal...not that I really knew what normal felt like. It has been 28 years. I have a lot of good days but if I forget an afternoon med I get brain fog, irritability, lack of energy, and unfocused. It is difficult to watch my son go through this but I know its necessary. He cannot function without adhd medicine.

Thanks for your post.

Kstox profile image
Kstox in reply to SandyNJ

Hi there,

This is just part of parenting. Very scary because we are making decisions that could change the rest of their lives .

I questioned my ability as a child and I had some remedial issues. So I took tests for AD and I was off the charts. I have been taking vyvanse and it’s wonderful! I think

My son will also start taking it.

I have also been taking Effexor for years for depression... I starting taking that because I lost my Mom ( cancer) . During that time I just had my daughter and I think it was a little of post dramatic stress.

Anyway needless to say I ended up going through early menopause and Effexor is also known to help this.

I think if you try many different meds you will find what’s best. As they grow they will need to change.

One thing I wish I was better about is diet., My son lives carbs! He rarely eats greens. I believe a good diet is crucial. Stay awAy from sugar!

My husband with ADHD, also really funny and impulsive, did very poorly in his elite highschool and just slid by at a 1.something average. He got study skills training and he ended up really flourishing in college. He started dating me Junior year. I stupidly encouraged him to not take his medicine since I noticed he was not eating or sleeping. Luckily, he was 'ok' without it, graduated , went on to get his Master's in education. We had a lot of marriage issues, but we slugged through and are 17 years happily married. His struggles gave him a unique perspective on educating children and he is an excellent teacher. Try to believe in your son. It may not be a smooth road, but he can do it!

Kstox profile image
Kstox in reply to

Thank you!!! It’s great to hear this.

Along with medication it's important to have the support of school administrators and staff. I don't know if you have a 504 or IEP for your son, but getting teachers and administrators to understand his situation and to come up with solutions to help support him in his final years in high school are critical to helping him realize that he can succeed in school and continue on with higher education. Consider what in particular he is struggling with and what supports are needed to help him then counsel with the school about putting those supports in place.

My son is 14 and I am so afraid of his future I can’t even describe. I really want to believe we will do it somehow and it will all turn to be ok.

AMT, it’s good to hear a stories like your husband’s.

The high school my son attends does not offer IEP. It’s a prep college. Which I am almost regreting. My husband attended .

My sons big issue is turning in things on time. They get a lot of homework that is due at different times and no matter how I try and help him organize this he still misses due dates.

Everything is done on their IPads!

My son loves gaming and right now

Is played FORTNIGHT. We have told him to remove it but he puts it back on....

we no longer have a PS4 or Xbox...

This is how kids communicate and hang out these days....

we have put so many regulations in place and then drop the ball.

I am thankful he is on the soccer team because he needs to release .

Thank you for your responses and

Keep me posted on how your child is doing.

I truly understand what you're going through.....my son is 23 and I can finally see some maturity. Remember our boys are 2-3 years behind their non-ADHD peers. My advice is to lower your expectations.....this means he may not be ready for college at 18, unless it's a community college. He might work 2 part-time jobs for awhile or maybe take a few classes. My son finally decided last year that minimum wage jobs were not for him anymore and he'd found something he wanted to do.....so he enrolled himself in our local community college and we made him pay for the first semester. (He had flunked out or not gone several times and I was tired of paying tuition for dropped/failed classes.) He also went back on his Vyvanse, which he had stopped after high school. We've had some challenging years.....high school was just a nightmare and I think my son hated school by the time he graduated. Let me know if you want to chat!

My son was just prescribed intuitive to take along side his concerta. I’m happy to hear your son responded well to it. My son has been getting into fights at school, and has some aggression issues. His Dr. felt this would help.

You may also like...