Having ed testing done on 13 year old. ADHD inattention is nearly definite per friends who are experts in the field and the pediatrician. I’m wondering preliminarily about meds. Her issues manifest themselves in MANY ways in life. Her behavior is good. She’s happy, has a good sense of self esteem, no depression, no anxiety. School is...fine. Solid B/C student. So fine. Average. And what’s wrong with being average. The pediatrician asked- what if her potential is much higher but we’re all satisfied with “fine”? That was thought-provoking. And I know that school is just going to get harder. Her study habits suck and she earns these average grades by guessing and doing everything half-assed. I am certain it will catch up with her next year or in 9th grade. The kid has said she wants to excel. She wants to focus. She said she wants to try meds and “if they change my personality or make me suicidal, I’m going to stop”. Should we rock the boat? I mean, she’s...fine... any similar stories out there?
Would you “rock the boat” with meds? - CHADD's ADHD Pare...
CHADD's ADHD Parents Together
Wendyks- I had a very close friend I met in college, I knew she had ADHD (non hyper active) and learning disabilities. She struggled her whole life and no one give her the chance to try medications. When she met me I encouraged her to get tested and try medications. When she did she was able to go on and get a PHD and become faculty at a major university.
Please give her the chance.... if it doesn't work you have tried.
This is what I’m leaning towards...have a coworker who sounds similar. Off, she’s just meh...good enough. On meds, she has the motivation to be the best! (As she says!)
Before meds the only way my friend could really focus was sitting in a warm bath tub, she thought this was "normal". Once she got a small dose of 1 medication that helped her focus she got a BA,MA/PHD and now hold the faculty job... I know she could not have been this successful without medication.
In my opinion if the medication doesn't work at least you have tried for her. I also she a comment about suicidal thoughts, I really think you would know this right away and stop the medication and those would go away.
Just wanted you to "reach for the stars for her"..
Best of luck with your procee, she already sounds so mature and willing to be part of this process.
I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 26. I was in GT and AP classes, and I wasn’t hyper. I had friends and everything seemed reasonably ok from the outside. My issues that were manageable before high school took a turn for the worse once my workload at school became much more difficult. I was always a smart girl but as soon as I was expected to make certain grades even though I genuinely didn’t believe it was possible to keep up, I just wanted to quit. Rather than admitting I couldn’t do the work because I felt stupid even though I wasn’t stupid and I just needed help, I became rebellious. I started doing drugs and hanging out with the wrong crowd. I was too immature to make responsible decisions and I let my ego get in the way of everything. I stopped going to school then I ended up quitting before my senior year. My life has finally turned around but I’ve often looked back and wondered where I’d be if I’d known I had adhd when I was young.
Thank you for sharing this. It sounds like a common story from what I’ve researched and so sad. It’s such a shame that inattentive adhd, especially in girls, is so undiagnosed. So with your experience, in your opinion, would you suggest my daughter try meds in the fall- at the beginning of 8th grade? When algebra starsts, but before the craziness of high school starts? Or just wait until things get bad?
Personally, I wouldn’t wait for things to get bad because by that time anxiety, depression, self esteem issues etc might have had a chance to appear and then you’d have to worry about treating more than one disorder, which can be tricky. I’ve had anxiety since high school too and I just didn’t realize the way I felt wasn’t normal. From what I understand, untreated adhd can cause anxiety and depression. I’m not saying you have to put your daughter on meds at all because every situation is different but given my extreme experience, I’d put my child on medication as soon as he or she was diagnosed, but again, I went through hell and I feel like there’s a good chance some of my self destruction might have been prevented had I not found an illegal stimulant first. I didn’t do it to get high, I did it because it made me feel like I could think clearly for the first time in my life. Also, the younger children start medication, it seems like it’s easier for them to adjust to taking a pill as part of they’re daily routine. In high school I could hide antidepressants from my mom if I didn’t want to take it for whatever reason.
I myself have a different situation, but we have good friends with a son much like your daughter. He was a decent student, participated in sports, very outgoing and like able. He hit freshman year and things started getting tough. Complaints started coming in about his lack of inattention. His grades were suffering. His parents were staying up until midnight with him trying to complete homework. His mother decided it was time to try meds and he was prescribed Focalin. So he describes it as being able to focus better.
Medication is often trial and error. If I were you I'd start now because it may take you until high school to find the right medication for her.
Will definitely check it out. Thanks!!