Looking for the light

[Yazzie123]

I snap at times and end up yelling and feel awful. I called and made myself a counseling appointment because I am dealing with a lot of anxiety over what is happening with my son. He is in middle school and on 30 mg vyvanse and 1 mg intuniv. He starts to rebound right after school and we go through an emotional roller coaster. All of the homework never gets done no matter how much structure there is. I could removal ALL distractions and he will start doing hand stands. It is painful. We wont increase medication because he barely eats and has lost weight. It is very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel on some days. Anyone else going through this?

[81JB]

My son is 13 and taking a 20 of vyvanse. Distracted easily but still completes homework without issue.

I often lose my temper and yell,shortly afterwards feeling like a jerk. Sometimes his absent mindness just blows my MF mind! Lol

Nothing really seems to help schedule,routine,enviroment,etc.

I've try to relax more and just laugh at some of his antics that make him, him. Your kid is not doing this to you on purpose and you arent alone

[Yazzie123 in reply to 81JB]

Thanks for responding. It's crazy. I think that puberty took things to another level!!

[Jorliss in reply to 81JB]

81JB: I like the fact you can laugh at some of his antics. Sometimes we are off the wall funny.

Forgetting is a gold stamp of ADHD. It’s just what we do but I swear we don’t mean it. I know it’s hard for a “normal” person to believe we forgot what you said within two seconds but we do. It’s crazy for us too.

Press your pause button, breath and then press repeat. Those buttons will get worn down until your dead. ADHD is a disorder that doesn’t go away. It’s like Samsonite Luggage.

[Ericanason]

My daughter is 12 years old diagnosed with ADHD also in middle school i am going thru the same as you right now homework never gets completed she is jus barely passing and my anxiety is sky high alot of the time I yell at her too sometimes and after I think about it and feel bad seems like we're going thru alot of similar things I hope things get better for you and your son soon know your not alone

[Yazzie123 in reply to Ericanason]

Thanks so much! TGIF!

[dredoug02]

I completely understand your frustration. A few times I lost control and scream at my son. Later when we are both calm I will sit and apologize for my action. What that does in my opinion is teach my son that we all have bad days but we also have a choice to make it better. Hang in there overtime it gets better if you continue with the same structure and routine for homework time.

Ps. I discovered that when my iron is low everything my son did would irritate me, however when I would build my iron level up with iron supplement I am more equip to cope and handle is ADHD.

[AngelamarieQ in reply to dredoug02]

Interesting observation about the iron level.

[Yazzie123 in reply to AngelamarieQ]

Indeed. I have low iron so I will work on staying on top of my iron

[MomOfAMermaid]

Sounds like you are choosing to be the light. I send you hugs as I relate. I can snap and yell. I continue to be reminded that caring for myself is the 1st step in caring for her. I wish you and your family well!

[Yazzie123 in reply to MomOfAMermaid]

Hugs right back at you!

[Faith2myboi]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through so much and feeling this way. Your not alone in all of this. I too experience the same feelings of there being no light at the end of the tunnel and I have lost it and yelled at my baby boy. Try to stay calm and remember he really can't help himself. I homeschool my son and I find it to be a lot easier. No missing homework and teachers upset about missing homework or him getting into trouble with another child because of his impulsiveness. I can take breaks with him if you becomes a little overwhelmed and things like that. I know though that homeschooling is not an option for every parent. If you are able to homeschool maybe you should try looking into it,it does alleviate a lot of the other pressures of homework and a classroom full of Children that he has to deal with every day. Keep your head up and I'm praying for you and your son the God will change your situation and give both you and your son peace of mind, body, and heart.

[ZosMom]

Hi there, just joined this community today because I too have anxiety and between my son’s adhd and my anxiety - we’re a hot mess. I’m tired of yelling and feeling frustrated and reminding him every 2 seconds of what he’s supposed to be doing. I hope it gets better when they’re older. I’m glad you’re seeking help and glad to know I’m not alone.

[BercotP]

My son is 10 and we were having a very difficult time, especially during homework. We just started him on a time released Guanfacine which he takes at night (to see if it will help him sleep, this kid is up 2-3 times🙄). Anyhow, we are up to 3mg’s and it is helping 😃 Oh my...it has been amazing! Of course it’s not 100% effective but he has been sleeping AND getting his homework done without a meltdown!!

I have days where I feel emotionally drained and I am sad, short tempered and I just want to stay in bed all day. Getting a therapist would be helpful to all of us as parents of ADHD kiddos. Sometimes we just need to talk it out. I also run and do yoga. I can tell when I am consistent with exercise; it helps a lot!!!

[Halem1982 in reply to BercotP]

Guanfacine worked for me for the short period I was on it. It didn’t help me sleep but nothing really has helped with that for me. I can take 6 Benadryl and be wide awake. Xanax does nothing. I just tried ambien and that didn’t help either. Anyway, I had a junk room of boxes I had never unpacked from when I moved into my place and it had probably been over a year and it really didn’t bother me. Within about two weeks of being on guanfacine, I had slowly unpacked every box in that room and it wasn’t something I was intentionally trying to do because it literally didn’t bother me that it was like that.

Unfortunately, I had to stop taking it because after a few months I noticed I was having severe digestion issues that I’d never had before. I don’t even know if that’s a side effect of it or not but I stopped taking it because I naturally have low blood pressure so I thought it might have had something to do with that but again, I have no clue because I didn’t even look into it. Everything went back to normal with my tummy after I stopped so I guess I am done rambling now. Lol

[Jaxy53]

YES! I have gone to counselling as well. I completely understand about the homework. My son just started Concerta 3 or 4 weeks ago. But homework in the evening is painful! He will run to the bathroom like 10 times. The cat will walk by and he will start playing with it. I get so frustrated. I always say to him...this should take 15 mins not 4 hours!!! You are not alone on this!

[Yazzie123 in reply to Jaxy53]

Lol. We have to find humor in this. Truly does take 4 hours to do homework! Sigh...

[AngelamarieQ]

Sorry to her what you are going through. The other comments are right on.

Maybe you should consider doing the DNA testing to see which medication will work for him. Is trial an error.

My daughter is in 5th grade and homework has been a daunting task since second grade. I'm very nervous for Middle school. But I have to say that since she is in Focalin XL 15 mg in the morning and Focalin short action 5 mg at 3:30 pm, homework battlefield, has been better. I see a difference but she still gets distracted.

I have to be with her, supervising, for most of her homework time and its about 3-4 hours depending on workload and subject. She is also in cognitive behavioral therapy and that helps too.