Looking for support in raising my son!

[Chickymama]

I am a mom with four children, one of which has ADHD. He is about to be 12 and is currently on medication. The last couple of weeks have been difficult for us and him. He has spent money on his IPad without permission ($254), gotten in trouble a time school multiple times and has set fire to a vacant lot in our neighborhood. He told a child on the bus that he was going to blow up the school with a train as well. Lots of prayers have been prayed as we navigate this journey but I feel myself getting angrier and angrier at my child for the constant bad decisions he is making. Just looking for support and ideas on what other parents are doing and going through.

[Mariafer]

Hi . Some of the things you mentioned happend to me expect for the train . My recommendation is to take him to the psychiatrist for a evaluation. Sometimes beside the ADHD they have something else and they can give you another medicine to control his impulsivity besides the one for the ADHD. Some kids needed some others don’t. But sometimes both medicines helps for the brain stability. The point is to know if there is something else beside ADHD. My appointment is this coming Wednesday so I don’t know much about it ,but it was the recommendation from the psycology .

[Geo48070]

Have you recently changed his meds? This happened with my son over Christmas. We introduced a new med to help with a mood disorder. However, it started to give him violent / dark thoughts. You may want to discuss this with your psychiatrist.

[Pajamasam36]

Ih u feel your pain I agree with mariafer and geo48070 you should check with a psychiatrist for a second diagnosis.

My son has received a psychological assessment from his nero psyc. It is the best thing we have done for him. He came aaa with 6 diagnosis and a change of diagnosis from autism to Tourettes. I shared a copy with the school. It hasn’t helped much but it will help in federal court when we sue the school this summer for discrimination and retaliation against our son. Check for second diagnosis and additional medications! My son Is 14 he is on 4 Meds. My favorite med for him is his mood stabilizing drug for Tourette it is called abilify . It helps his shout outs of swearing and anger as well as his frustration and irritability! I may ask if we can increase his abilify until his teen age years are over . Keep updating about your son! I would love to hear how you choose to handle your situation! Hugs❌⭕️❌⭕️

[Aniusia in reply to Pajamasam36]

I feel your pain. What did school do that you decided to sue?

[Pajamasam36 in reply to Aniusia]

They isolated him from his peers and wouldn’t allow him To be in the gen ed classroom. He had to say with a paraprofessional over 75% if his day. He was not allowed in the halls or the lunchroom when other students were there. Now they make him carry a tracker of all the bad things he does and he has to Bri g it home for me to sign before returning to school.

[Aniusia in reply to Pajamasam36]

Understand. We learn. They did similar things to my son. At the beginning you just do whatever they say, but they often cross the line!

[Pajamasam36 in reply to Aniusia]

Yes they did cross the line so we Called the disability law center and filed a state complaint.

[Chickymama]

My son is on Vyvanse and Guanficine. We recently met with his doctor last week for his regular checkup. He goes to a focusMd clinic. She upped his Guanfacine a couple mg so we are going to try that. I know part of it has to do with his body changing during this time. I used to teach 6th graders I always saw a drastic change during the year with my students. We used to joke as teachers that they became little aliens for a few years. My older boys went through some difficult years as well, but this is my first time with and ADHD child. I am interested in meeting with a psychologist but I live in a small town and am not really sure where to start. Should I look for a psychiatrist or psychologist?

[Chooser63]

Have you look at the CHADD (Children with ADD/ADHD) website? You may be able to find some resources there. A psychologist does counseling/therapy whereas the psychiatrist usually does the medication portion of it. Some psych do therapy as well. I would go to a ped psych. I'm not familiar w/ focusMD but the psych does the RX because that's their primary job and they are the most knowledgeable. Our ped neurodevelopmentalist (MD) sent us to the psych, who Is very understanding but we still have a ways to go to perfect the med cocktail. We tried guanfacine, short acting - did no good - teachers said it did but my husband and I didn't see much of a difference. We went to long-acting, which was a big mistake for our son. He had "bad thoughts." After another "trial and error", we put him on Cymbalta for anxiety (which school thinks is his main problem) - it has helped somewhat. I still think he needs and ADHD med. Have a meeting with psych in a few weeks (it takes forever to get an apt)!