New to Group - always looking for advice.

[mzzblake]

Hello all. Im new to the group. I have 2 kids. My 7 year old son has been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD and IED (Intermittent Explosive Disorder) Its a struggle constantly as Im a single mom of 2, I work all day and I get calls at least twice a week to meet at school because he disrespected a teacher, got into an altercation with someone, cant do his work, wont focus. Its exhausting. I refuse to put him on medication at this point but I have tried some holistic / organic remedies that I have had NO luck with so far. If anyone can recommend anything non medicated to try, Im open to it all. I would love to hear that Im not alone with what I go through and hopefully be able to help some of you with the things that I have been through. Thanks for listening

Tracy

[momdoll]

Can you ask the school for behavioral therapy or look into finding one in your area? (I apologize if these are things you've already done) Structure, consitency and having a team including his teacher and other school staff involved have been key to my sons improvement this last year. I think working with the school has made them more sympathetic.

[Lacy_Mcc]

Not to be discouraging but after two years of counseling and alternative treatments we finally chose to medicate bc nothing significantly helped. The only thing I've heard really works, but I didn't try is cbd oils. Props to you as a single mom. I don't know how you do it. I get so burnt out by my ADHD/ODD son constantly talking back, screaming at me, breaking things, etc ... sometimes I have to walk outside or lock myself in my room and have my husband take over while I calm down. He takes more energy than my other 3 kids combined. It's very mentally exhausting

[mzzblake in reply to Lacy_Mcc]

Im so glad you understand. My son does the same thing. Screams, disrespects, breaks thins, always want to argue and fight. Its so hard. Its more then exhausting. I yell most of the time and I know its wrong b ut im so burnt out between school issues, home issues etc. Im going to look at cbd oils and see how that works. Please keep in touch.

[marycollins13 in reply to Lacy_Mcc]

My son does the same thing as far as being disrespectful, screaming, arguing, throwing and breaking things. However, he doesn't do it with his father. So, what I started to do is ignore him when he gets that way. I make sure he is somewhere he cannot hurt himself or others. After a few minutes or so he notices he's not getting any attention then he calms down. He cannot stand to be ignored. So he does what I say ( still frustrated) or he gets ignored.

[Lacy_Mcc]

I hope you have some support from family or friends when you need a break. I've let my son push me over the limits more than once and end up full of guilt, plus, seeing me lose it makes him feel like he's in control and teaches him how to push my buttons. it's a bad cycle. How old is your other child? Is their dad involved at all?

[mzzblake in reply to Lacy_Mcc]

I have no family. My mom is my only family and she cannot stand my son. She feels that ADHD is not real and its my lack of discipline that makes him act the way he does. My daughter is 9 and she is like the perfect child. Straight A student, never gets in trouble, always raises her hand, helps out etc. She really sacrifices alot for us because she knows there are certain things that we cant do because he cant handle it. My mom refuses to watch him. If I need a break she will offer to take my daughter but not him. I work 9-5 everyday so I guess thats my "break" ?!?. I dont complain and Im not complaining but its exhausting. I have gained about 45 lbs in the last year because Im so stressed out, I dont sleep because he doesnt sleep so all I do is eat sneak naps in here and there. Dad is not around. Never was. Hes in and out of jail and on drugs so i keep him far away. The kids are better off without him.

[Boymom3 in reply to mzzblake]

Prayers for you. I have twin boys that behave that way and I sometimes don't want to go home and I have a great husband and supportive family. I pray God will provide some relief for you. We are going to doctor today for medication. We adopted our boys and the last 2 years have been an education to say the least. We didn't want to do medication but we have to give it a try. I know you'll make the right decision. Hang in there!

[Hidden in reply to mzzblake]

I feel your pain My Husband Refuse to believe my son has ADHD it is funny but I have not said it to his face as yet but I think he has ADHD also just was never diagnosed because he has always been very active in sports even up to now so he can’t see it ,But please do not feel alone because we are never alone we have a God above that love us like no other ,and he is patiently waiting for each us to turn to him whether it’s the first time or not ,when you think that You have no one in this world turn to him ,he wants to hear your voice.Take that stress you are going through ,And you say Lord my God You are in control you give me my son and know I lift up to Please give me the guidances and patients so I know what to do, keep it very simple as if you were talking to one of your friends.My other advice is if it’s something that your son do not have as of yet is like an iPad with games for him age appropriate of course I always recommend Challenging type of Games like car racing No violent things that can help his focus now every child is different and the other thing I got for my son and this is why sometimes children With ADHD love to chew on things and that is my son so I purchase chewy toys especially for kids with ADHD They have a white variety on Amazon he has like necklace with Batman symbol etc and pencil toppers he will take it to school it’s HEALTH Smith his concentration in class so you have to find the stuff that is suitable for your son depending on his behavior and interests All the best of luck and remember you have to take care of yourself because if anything should happen to you what is going to happen to your babies God bless

[Chazzy14 in reply to mzzblake]

Hi. I totally understand your pain and situation. My son was diagnosed only a week ago with adhd/mood disregulation disorder. The symptoms have been there for years, but the aggressive behavior has only started recently. He is 7 years old. The lack of sleep or waking up in the middle of the night only to sleep when its time to get up for school is draining. His therapist advised melatonin. I give him the bach rescue remedies gummy. 2 gummies = 5mg, so i give him one. Some nights I'll give one and another half of one. Its all natural and helps with getting him to sleep. I am a single mom as well. Your doing your best as a mother. It's frustrating and drains us. I had his pediatrician refer him for a therapist. She's good at getting him to think about his actions. He started seeing the psychiatrist. They have him on clonidine patch 0.5 mg. Its a high blood pressure medication just to help regulate the pressure when elevated. School sees him calming down a bit. Ask in writing for an i.e.p evaluation at the school. Look for conseling and support groups if any in your area. Im reading a few books on the disorder. Pray on it. Breath! Hang in there mom. Your doing your best.

[Lacy_Mcc]

Oh Honey I am so sorry. I know you are anti meds but if his behavior is affecting your life and his to the point of misery it might be worth considering. Talk to a dr or therapist. it should be covered through insurance. I was at rock bottom with my kiddo before considering meds as a last resort and although we still have struggles, it was a complete game changer. Only you knows what is beat for you and your child. keep in touch. *hugs*

[mzzblake]

Thanks ladies. Im going to look into the cdc oil and see where to go from there. I have just heard so many bad stories about medication that I just dont know if thats the right move.

[Hidden]

I feel your pain My Husband Refuse to believe my son has ADHD it is funny but I have not said it to his face as yet but I think he has ADHD also just was never diagnosed because he has always been very active in sports even up to now so he can’t see it ,But please do not feel alone because we are never alone we have a God above that love us like no other ,and he is patiently waiting for each us to turn to him whether it’s the first time or not ,when you think that You have no one in this world turn to him ,he wants to hear your voice.Take that stress you are going through ,And you say Lord my God You are in control you give me my son and know I lift up to Please give me the guidances and patients so I know what to do, keep it very simple as if you were talking to one of your friends.My other advice is if it’s something that your son do not have as of yet is like an iPad with games for him age appropriate of course I always recommend Challenging type of Games like car racing No violent things that can help his focus now every child is different and the other thing I got for my son and this is why sometimes children With ADHD love to chew on things and that is my son so I purchase chewy toys especially for kids with ADHD They have a white variety on Amazon he has like necklace with Batman symbol etc and pencil toppers he will take it to school it’s HEALTH Smith his concentration in class so you have to find the stuff that is suitable for your son depending on his behavior and interests All the best of luck and remember you have to take care of yourself because if anything should happen to you what is going to happen to your babies God bless

[Hidden]

Hello how are you you are not alone I don’t know the type of organic remediesYou did but right now my son is nine years old I have been alternating coffees for tea Four times Daily a recommendations from his doctor and I am also keeping him away from candy a lot of stuff with coloring mainly gluten-free in his diet so far so good I have been observing him doing his homework he seems to be very focus And also getting his work right for me that’s a great sign another thing I invest into is chewy Jewelry like necklace the pendant is a Batman symbol and while he’s in school and trying to concentrate we can chew on it he also have pencil toppers that is chewable and this is all because one of his problem is that he choose everything so so far so good Another thing did you inform the school Because they usually put a 504 plan in place So in that way you should not be getting a lot of phone calls

[mzzblake in reply to Hidden]

I appreciate your responses. So he has a 504 but its mainly for him to be able to get more frequent breaks, walks, partially complete homework assignments, incentives, things like that. His guidance counselor told me she has been doing GoNoodle with him and giving him calm yoga therapy as well that hes been responding too. I have tried so many herbal forms its crazy. I have not tried the chewable things yet. Im actually going to google them and see what i can find and ask if that can be incorporated in his 504. He has an appt for a behavioral specialist counselor on the 4th. I dontlet him have candy, I keep him away from dyes. But its so hard because im not in school so at lunch he trades his healthy snacks for candy and junk. I tell him the dangers but hes a child, he doesnt get it. I do appreciate your help <3

[Hidden in reply to mzzblake]

The chewy Necklace etc.you will get on Amazon

[Alex1016]

Hi Tracy,

My son is seven years old with ADHD and ODD. He was diagnosed a year ago and we struggled with the decision of putting him on mess, but we decided to go for it. So far he is doing ok, we changed the meds once since it lost its affect. To be honest, Meds help to reduce hyperactivity symptoms, but is not very helpful with impulsiveness and focusing in the classroom. He is on IEP and we are planning to take him for behavioral therapy.

I would recommend putting him on meds if he doesn't have any other medical problems especially cardiac and heart issues. The doctors will check before prescribing meds. The main side affect of the med is loss of appetite. i call it a diet pill and I send a bottle of pedia sure daily to school with my son to have it at lunch time. That's all he eats while at school. Pedia sure helped keep his weight under control.

Nina