Looking for Nanny for Neurodivergent son

[Momoftwoboyz]

Hey all,

I’m new to this group but I am desperately seeking childcare for my neurodivergent son before and after school. He is 6 and in kindergarten. We were told by the school he has autism, but the regional center thinks otherwise (ADHD or mood disorder?) The most challenging behavior is his disregulation when there is a demand or a transition that is hard for him. He can hit, kick, spit, bite and run away. We need to find a caregiver that is experienced and okay working with a child who has this type of behavior. I don’t know where to look. If you know of any caregivers that are looking because your family no longer needs help or you know a better place to look than Care.com, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks, M

[eva2022]

That is so tricky. I’m so sorry. We usually just start asking EVERYONE that we talk to for ideas and sooner or later we find someone.

Here are some ideas to call and ask:

ARC (thrift store that helps disabled people)

Your county resource office

Respite care

Ask foster care in your area for ideas

YMCA

Hospital CNAs

local preschool teachers

Home health care workers

[Mamamichl]

Most care providers are not equipped to handle kids like your son, unfortunately. MY stepkid was like that when they were young. It actually got them into special education classroom. Perhaps see if you can contact 211 or see if community mental health has any resources that can be helpful.

What area are you in, may I ask?if close to lansing, mi I could do it 😀. You can also ask online with nextdoor or on other social media websites, saying your son has emotional disregulation and you are looking for someone with de escalation training. As a special education teachers aid, I wouldn’t bat an eye and totally jump on this because we don’t make a lot of money but we work with kids like this all day as a whole group, and one by itself is easier.

[Momoftwoboyz in reply to Mamamichl]

We are in Southern California Thank you for offering to help though!

[Mamamichl in reply to Momoftwoboyz]

Anytime! I was in Oregon u til a year ago.

[Knitting20projects]

Did you try posting in the Care.com section for special needs caregivers? Regardless of whether your son meets criteria for autism or not, he will need someone with special experience and I would recommend someone with experience in autism, particularly in nonverbal kids who are aggressive. Unfortunately even without an autism diagnosis, his behaviors will need someone with that training. No standard nanny or babysitter is going to have the qualifications or experience or, frankly, will accept a position with those behaviors. I have 2 kids with autism & ADHD. Our daughter has an intellectual disability also & was nonverbal until 3. We found a wonderful nanny for her in the special needs area of Care. com. I’m very sorry you are facing these challenges with your son; there’s very little that’s more stressful. Do you know what evaluation his school did for autism? I’m asking because typically the public schools are very good at recognizing autism. Of course, no one is perfect. I hope you’re able to find someone good for your precious boy. And if you don’t see improvements after following the treatment plan recommended based on his ultimate diagnosis (Eg mood disorder etc), I would at least keep autism as a possibility still. I’m a pediatrician and have had a patient missed on 1st evaluation. Ultimately after some time we re-referred this child to a different specialist for a second evaluation because the child was still struggling and things didn’t quite add up. Second evaluation—- autism (had OT, PT, speech, ADOS, Vineland, full developmental behavioral pediatrics medical history & physical done). Don’t give up if you feel things aren’t improving. Hugs to you 💕.

[Momoftwoboyz]

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I’ve tried searching specifically for those with special needs experience on Care.com, but there is just a lot of unqualified profiles to sift through, but I’ll keep trying!

[Knitting20projects in reply to Momoftwoboyz]

Sigh. I understand. Another option might be if you have a university in your area with a graduate school for occupational or speech therapy, there might be students doing pediatric ST or OT grad school who would be interested in extra work. I would also try calling ABA companies nearby and asking if their behavioral technicians are ever interested in side jobs like you need. They have training in managing kids with autism. Even if he doesn’t have autism, a behavioral technician would probably not be fazed by your son’s behavior. They’ve usually seen it all! Finally, your school district or a neighboring one might know of special education paraprofessionals who are no longer working for them but interested in extra work. My other thought: would insurance cover ABA therapy at a local center (for example, a classroom style based program with after school hours)? Even for a couple days a week, that might teach skills & fill in some hours you need. I would also see if your local Autism Society of your county or state has a message board or office you can call/post on. Maybe a family can recommend someone. Again, many of our kids, autism or not, can benefit from someone patient enough to manage a child with autism. Best wishes 💕