Feeling a bit defeated

[Chelsie_]

So I am feeling just a bit defeated today. I found out this summer that my son had ADHD and I have tried everything I can possible think of to try I have gone to doctors and he’s on medication and I am also trying to supplement him with some vitamins to help with boots his brains production of serotonin and I am trying to krill oil as well to help I am breaking my neck here and i find out yesterday that my soon to be husband my child’s soon to be step father still thinks he’s a terrible kid. I will admit my son has trouble with his behavior and he lies a lot! He also said that with discipline my daughter could be a good, could as in she isn’t now, I’m sorry I lost it at this point I am so mad right now I cant see straight, I just don’t know what to do any more this is really hard for me to handle I was married before and my sons bio-father was very mean to him he is a bully to me as well to his kids, thats why we are no longer married, this was also long before I found out about his diagnoses.

[seller]

I would think very carefully and perhaps get some professional advice about marrying this man. You did not say how old your son is, but mine is 23 and if my husband and I had not been on same page, I have no idea what would have happened to all of us. ADHD kids are tough to raise and can cause problems in the best of marriages. And they may continue to live at home for a lot longer than most, simply because they often aren't ready to go off on their own at age 18.

[katcald]

First, good job doing everything you can to help your son. We are also dealing with lying (and stealing) and other behavior problems that can make our son very unlikeable sometimes. (It is especially tough on my husband to see our son acting this way)

It sounds to me that your fiancé doesn't understand ADHD children, and may not understand kids at all. I know it has to be tough marrying into an instant family. But, it seems insensitive (if not downright mean) of him to say those things about your kids. I'm sure he has some great qualities (or you wouldn't be planning to marry him.) But you got to ask yourself if this is a deal breaker.

I can't imagine raising my son by myself. But I also can't imagine marrying someone who didn't support me as a parent, or worse, worked against what I was doing.