ADHD Parents Together
6,770 members1,974 posts

10 yr old with ADHD and ODD

Hello, my name is Heather and I just joined this group tonight. My daughter was diagnosed in 2010 with ADHD and ODD, she is on concerta. In the last 5 or 6 months she has developed really bad anger issues. Bad to the point she is screaming at me, telling me she hates me, cussing at me and She kicks and throws things. I leave her alone to calm down due to nothing I say helps her calm down. After a few hours or the next morning She will apologize for being so mean. Even the most simple things set her off. Any one have similar situations and have ideas that help with your child? I need some advice. Thank you in advance!!

16 Replies
oldestnewest

Hi there. I’m a mother of a 7 year old boy with ADHD, and I am also a RN. He is on concerta as well. Our psychiatrist told us that if he seems to get irritable suddenly, that it could mean the dose is too high.. I would suggest having the doctor reevaluate her dosage..

Reply

We have a Drs appt tomorrow, thank you!

1 like
Reply

Hello,

I just joined the group myself and have a 9 year old son who was taking methylphenidate, generic for Concerta, for the last 2 years. After finally getting a dose that was helping my son he started to digress after doing so well for about one school year. He has also developed the anger issues and is very direspectful, especially in the morning before he takes his morning dose.

He ignores me, screams and disregards any discipline. Later, he will realize what he had done and feel bad and apologize, but not always. I feel like he is different little boy....he was always been affectionate and gave me "mommy hugs" and was a little gentleman, not perfect but not like this at all.

The doctor changed his meds. to dexmethyphidate (Focalin), it's only been a week but not much change in school or attitude.....

I miss my little boy.....

Reply

Our psychiatrist told us that when kids hit growth spurts, their ADHD does too.. Since is he was doing so well for so long and then seemed to change; I would look at maybe seeing if his dose needed re-evaluated. Our doc told us that during growth spurts the meds may need increased..

2 likes
Reply

Thanks, we were just at the doctors office and he never said anything about that.....we have started a new med. and now working on the dosage.

1 like
Reply

My daughter is the exact same way :( idk what to do

Reply

I am listening to all the responses and suggestions so I can ask the Dr about any or all of them....maybe we can figure this out!

Reply

I have a Son named Isaiah and he is 17. He is diagnosed with ADHD and ODD as well since he was six. I have experienced all of what you are going through and honestly time has began the healing process! He understands better now that he is older. Yes he cusses and I stay on him and ladies your child may experiment with drugs. The best remedy is keep your children active and from time to time enroll them in places that will keep them overnight to help deal with those out burst because our children can and will become violent and hit you. Yes they will feel bad sometimes but not always. And never fold in and give any ground to your children when you are disciplining for they see it as a sign of weakness and will exploit your parenthood. They are not slow and know what they are doing. They test you daily. Don’t give in. Stand firm

Reply

I have a 12 year old like this as well. When I say 12, he’s 200# at 5’6”. He scares me at times. We are seeing and adjusting meds all we can. I’m at my breaking point and was broke down yesterday. I had to call the police on him as he was trying to beat and throw kick and scream while we were driving. I have an appt with the juvenile office today. Have you ever done this before? What are your thoughts? Thanks...

Reply

You really don't want to get your son involved in the juvenile justice system, if at all possible. I would check with your physician for additional medications to help control the behavior. Setting up a strict behavioral plan can help - with specific rewards and consequences - like TV or video games. As a last resort, sending your son to boarding school is also an option, although it's very expensive and definitely long-term.

Reply

My son is the same way. He also takes generic for Concerta. Mornings are a nightmare: he won't get out of bed, yells, calls me names, curses up a storm. Today he threw a shoe at me and a cup of water at his sister. I have been giving him his pill an hour before he is supposed to get up hoping it will kick in before he gets out of bed but it never seems to. It never gets any better.

Reply

Hello Katcald! Omg i have a similar problem with my oldest daughter. She takes me through hell every morning especially when its time to get up for school. She has a high tolerance for meds and nothing seems to help her, well vyvanse does but once it gets out her system she is a mega talker, and her attitude is not great. I thought i was the only one going through that. Im looking for further education on how to be on her level, it is overwhelming but I know things will get better for the both of us have a bless day.

2 likes
Reply

Thanks for commenting, Sierra. I hate to mess with his medication because once it kicks in he is good but I don't know what to do about this behavior. Getting mad (like I did this morning) only makes it worse. What is your daughter's diagnosis? Reason I ask is I wonder if it my son has ODD along with the ADHD

Reply

Hi Katcaid, sorry for the late post but to let you know I also have ADHD myself and I struggle daily especially trying to remember things and stay organize in all areas. My daughter is diagnose with ADHD associated with anxiety and defiant disorder.

Reply

With our son's impulsiveness his therapist suggested a chart with various anger levels... she stresses communicating prior to any explosion. She told us to ask him "where are you on the scale right now" if we sense that he is starting to boil. Depending on the answer, we try to divert his attention, or give him some tablet time to calm down, or just have him sit and talk. He did verbalize to us that sometimes he needs us to grab him into a tight hug when he is feeling impulsive and defiant... At times he is able to say "I'm feeling very angry because..." and we try to be attentive to his needs and feelings. He also needs attention and can't handle himself if he doesn't get it... so when punished he makes things worse by seeking negative attention which he told the therapist is better than no attention at all. We have also been told that ADHD kids love a good power struggle and to not engage in it... although if a child is violent or is throwing things and destroying things I don't see how one can not engage. Our son goes up and down with his symptoms... we can have a good month and feel on top of the world and then he can have a really bad month and put a lot of strain on the family. He is on medication and sees a therapist once a week and the school works with us to accommodate his needs as well. Extra curricular activities are helpful we find... we signed him up for baseball. We also implemented chore charts to make him more accountable and give him a chance to earn things he wants. He has used curse words at school and they don't tolerate it so he had in-school suspension several times and at home we crack down on no electronics and sometimes no outside time types of punishment to emphasize that we don't tolerate bad language as well. However, even during punishment the therapists stressed that we have to give him some one on one "snuggle time" he calls it where we just sit with him on the couch and watch TV for 10 minutes or so (thankfully he still very much needs time with his mommy and he is very dependent on that time). I'm sorry to hear so many parents struggle with aggressive children... breaks my heart and I don't know many relationships/marriages that can withstand that stress.

Reply

My son is 9 years old he also has ADHD and ODD he was going through the same thing your daughter is going through when he was on Vyvanse and Concerta we had him genetically tested to see what medicine was compatible with his genes and Strattera was what was compatible with him and it's the only ADHD medicine that's compatible with him. So you might ask your doctor to see if they can do a genetic testing and see what medications are compatible with her. Once we put our son on Strattera the anger has stopped. He still has the ODD, the Defiance part where he thinks he's right or he thinks he's the boss which leads up to getting angry, but we just put him on Abilify for the odd which the gene testing shows that he's compatible with and hopefully that will help him. So far this week we've only had one major blow up but the rest of the week was great he didn't get angry he wasn't argumentative. He also told me when we were talking about something that he wasn't going to argue with me because he didn't want to fight and I told him I was appreciative that he realized what that was leading too and he says "I'm learning."

Reply

You may also like...