Cluttering / hoarding problem - does anyone else have this?

It wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that I saw houses that were more untidy than mine - on TV, and other people who wouldn't even let their friends in because they were so ashamed.

My grandmother was very untidy and Mum reacted by becoming almost obsessionally tidy. When she was too ill to do much herself, I had to meet her standards in addition to working. I reacted by being the opposite, but also, as someone who likes to finish a job, let things pile up because the only way of 'finishing' things is to set time limits which I can complete! Both Mum and I have been phobic about having people in.

At the end of last year I had serious problems because of an engineer visit. This Friday I have someone coming about replacing my boiler. I'm scared stiff. I am working on things but can't do much at a time because of pain and fatigue issues.

Are there any other members who have this kind of problem?

12 Replies

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  • yes my house is a bit untidy I have clutter it makes me anxious cos really I like tidyness

    I cant seem to work out whre to start its like my head

  • I prefer clean throughout my clutter :) yes very untidy, I don't hoard but have a tendency to just put things down - anywhere. Like it clean though so move everything to clean and then plonk the mess somewhere else. It would be like a cartoon - walk in pristine, open a cupboard door and an avalanche that I've quickly put in there because someone was coming to visit. Thankfully that's only about once a month I have a visitor.

  • People laugh and are entertained by my attempts to clean my clutter. I move piles to create s different one. It may be amusing to others but not helpful..biggest problems are paperwork and clothes. It has reached proportions that i just put my head in a book and am fast becoming a hermit. I like it to be clean but depression is now a major wall.

  • Not a clutterer/hoarder but know plenty of people who are and some of them won't invite me in because of it.

    My father hoarded chocolate and stationery :) but in a tidy way. But some of the chocolate was so stale it was inedible :(

    In some cases, where it is paper based, it reminds me of hamsters nesting ... which is quite cute :)

    Do you have a friend that could help with the reorganising either temporarily or permanently? Some people find that having someone else go through things and make decisions about what to keep and what not to keep helps them ... but it's the opposite for other people.

    My ex-husband was a definite nester. He lived in a bed sit when we first met and the pile of rubbish spread over most of the floor. Spent a weekend clearing it all up and remember joking at one point about finding his lunch from a year ago - next bag I picked up had a very stale scone in it.

    Try not to fret because I'm sure whoever is coming will have seen worse. Would it help to let the company know that the place is a bit cluttered? or would that just make you more stressed? Is there a friend who could be with you whilst they are there?

  • I'm tackling mine in baby steps. Even if its just a make up bag a day or whatever it seems to be working slowly. Try selling what you can but don't spend the money on more clutter!

    Lorraine

    :) good luck

  • I don't buy all that much now - cutting back on books etc. I'm trying to go through my clothes and get rid of things that don't fit - some where I've lost weight - I hope I don't put it back on. I have to sort out storing my pet supplies neatly - I get them in large bags. Now I have some more rat kittens coming up to showing I'll be letting my numbers fall a little - much as I love them.

    There are some things I will be putting on Freecycle or eBay, which will mean I can move furniture around.

    My big problem is getting it to an incomplete but acceptable state by Friday - the actual visit will only be half an hour.

  • Don't worry so about it, they don't have to live in it, you do! An untidy house is a home.

    :)

  • My house is a terrible mess. Stuff everywhere. I clean it, but I just can't keep it tidy. It is a physical impossibility now. I've given up and I just live in the mess!

  • Thinking of you - really hope that the boiler replacement goes well.

    Know it is not the same thing but this morning I woke up aware of all the things that I needed to do around the house and the garden and lay awake for a while deciding which I needed to tackle and in what order ... and then I got up and just tackled them in a completely different order :) The plan had been to clean the bathroom and go for a run then do the lawns and then I realised the washing up needed doing and ... In the end I went for the run first then did the lawns (including running the mower over the neighbours front lawn as she has a small girl and finds it difficult to to get everything done) ... and the bathroom ended up being the last thing after I'd done a few other things - including catching up on some of my diary - that hadn't been on the action plan.

    sometimes you just need to start somewhere ... and I always try to focus on how much has been done rather than how much still needs to be done when I remember :)

  • My flat is very messy and cluttered. I can't be bothered to put things away. It makes me feel anxious but I also feel anxious if I try to do it. I don't know if there is an answer. The other thing I do (or rather don't do) is open my post. In the past I have left it for over a year!

    And as for my bedroom - omg! Its all too much for me. You are definately not the only one...

    Bev x

  • I was very anxious last night when I discovered exactly how much I needed to do before the surveyor comes. My friend came round and we had a search for the missing rat. Unfortunately we saw her, but didn't catch her. My friend did a lot of hoovering. However, all this put me further behind and I had a splitting headache this morning. I rang the firm, and they were happy to re-schedule for May 7th. By then I should have a lot done, and small bags of interim storage - great news.

    I'm still feeling very shaky, which is a combination of stress, sleep problems, medication side-effects and the ever-present essential tremor (a genetic problem), but plans are afoot!

  • my ex blamed me for the clutter and not cleaning Now two yrs on its not much different

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