2013 is starting to look better. I've had 3 sessions with the counsellor which has given me space to be sad and made me realise that I can't, or shouldn't, force myself to better. And because I'm feeling in a better place I'm actually able to make changes for myself. I go spinning and/or swimming every week.
I'm also doing an online cbt course to help me to manage and improve my sleep. This week is he toughest part but I'm so desperate for a full and proper nights sleep that I'm willing to put the effort in.
I've also stopped automatically going to bed when I get home and try and lie on te sofa if I don't feel up to being out and about for too long. It's only a small step but it's helped face my 'fear' of being away from my safe place (bed).
Work is also getting better. I still don't like it but I've managed to arrive on time and I haven't left before 5.15pm which is a vast improvement from even a couple of weeks ago.
The counselling has also cleared my mind a bit and I can even remember some of the positive and fun things that I did last summer, like going to the Olympic Ceremony Rehearsal and some of the events. I went to Poole and spent the day on the beach. Things like that, they don't seem important at the time but I'm glad I have some good memories back.
I know it's not easy, it's been a hard process for me, but I hope that others will be able to take time to relax and remember the good times when the time is right.
Smiles to everyone x