My mum died on Saturday

[Topbananamac]

I'm heartbroken after my mum died on Saturday, from blood cancer and problems from a spinal stroke, I'm on another planet with grief, I can't eat, cry, and can hardly walk. I wish I could fast forward 1yr,my depression will be unimaginable when I come round, any advice would be great :-{

[Robbie138]

Hello Joemac, my heartfelt sorrow for you in this sad time,nothing I say will take your hurt away, maybe you should go to your Dr to help you at this sad time. I think you should try and eat something as it won't help if you get ill. Remember this forum is open 24/7 so if you need to talk I'm sure someone will be around.

My deepest sympathy.

[Satsuma]

Sending you condolenences .. One day at a time .. Hour by hour of need be .. Vent on here as doing so will help to ease the pain you feel

[jennyjolly]

So very sorry to hear of your great loss

I believe we pass on to a better place

My dad returned to see me when my friend was present

Without my saying anything she repeated to me what my dad said

something no one could have known about at the time

Have had other visitations since then,always with someone else present

[Hidden]

No words will mend your broken heart at this moment, but your still in the very early stages of grieving, just allow time to pass, I lost my mum suddenly and thought I couldn't carry on, but your inner strength will carry you through, please don't feel alone, come here and talk if you feel like it, consider talking things through with your doctor too if its difficult for you to cope, grieving will take time, my heart goes out to you, big hugs xxxxx

[wentworth67]

Thinking of you hugs Paula xx

[Celtic27]

Hi joe mac im sorry to hear of your sad loss i myself lost my mum last september at the moment your best taking it one day at a time ! We all deal with our grief differently it may be worth going to your doctor and ask for something short acting to help you at the moment ! Sending you my condolences ! God bless you !

[Angep]

Hi joemac, I along with all the others who have replied to you have felt that same pain!! I lost my mum just over 2 years ago!! ive heard lots of people say it gets easier with time! I have heard it a lot because I work in a care home and look after a lot of poorly people, that is true it does!! But At first I couldn't look at a picture of my mum, because it was just too painful and it just made me cry, I now have a picture of her in my living room on my windowsill, but I couldn't do that until I felt strong enough, So she's the first person I see when I open my curtains and she's there when I close them.i still talk to her!! Tell her I love her. It helps me, you will have to think what would she want you to do!! You have to grieve, but when you come round as you say try to be brave and carry on with your life because if you don't then she would be equally as heartbroken to see you her child suffering so badly. Remember this too!! You won't see her in the physical sense anymore but you will always carry her in your heart and memories. She is a part of you and always will be. I hope as each day passes it becomes a little easier for you to bare 🙏🏻

[LoriMS61]

Hi,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I know you've been given some good advice, but I thought I would weigh in too.

Now more than ever it is really important that you be kind to yourself. You need to look after yourself, I know it's hard to focus on the physical, when the mental is so painful. You must eat and drink. If you can handle looking after your personal hygiene then that's a plus. You need to open the windows and let in fresh air, and you need to try and spend a little bit of time outside if you can.

Take one day at a time. Heck, if it's too painful at the moment, take one minute at a time. You were a good son, and your Mum wouldn't want you to be in pain.

Sometimes people feel guilty when loved ones they've had to care for pass away. I know I did a little. But they aren't in pain anymore and you did everything you could.

You want to skip a year ahead, trust me, stuffing the pain down doesn't work indefinitely. That's what made me fall apart. I couldn't hold the pain in any longer. Ride every day out and let yourself heal.

Try and spend 1 hour doing something routine, but mentally engaging. Give your mind a break. At this stage, if you need to sleep, then sleep. Your body is trying to heal.

Keep us up to date, we are here for you.

Lori

[klingonjl62]

I don't have any advice. I lost my Mom in 2010, and I'm still lost without her. She was my best friend, and the only one to love me unconditionally. I felt the same about her.I have no reason to live without her. All I want to do is die. I pray every day that I die. I expect I will not see 2017. I don't know why I've stuck around this long. You see I have no family or friends. My only support is my psychiatrist, my therapist, my recovery coach, and anyone I may talk to online.

I don't know yoursituation. All I can say is LEAN ON FRIENDS. TALK and T ALK and CRY and YELL or whatever you feel like doing for as long as you feel like doing it. Read, listen to music, journal, color, or whatever you do that you usually enjoy. Force yourself if you have to for the distraction. It takes however long it takes. I like children's books about grief. I guess that's it except you'll know when it's time to join a group if you're incinclined to do that kind of thing.

[Topbananamac in reply to klingonjl62]

Hi,,thinks cant be that bad,can they.You give me advice but what about giving yourself some.I too have those feelings but is it right,is it the easy way out maybe the challenge is to turn around or thoughts and life,,maybe thats what its all about,this thing we call life...Joe

[Prior]

It will be one of the hardest thing you will ever do , you want the world to stop how can you be in so much pain and people just carry on with there lives . There are no answer I can't tell you how long you are going to feel like this . My mum died may the 5th last year I still cry she was my world but it's not hurting like it did before that's it I'm sorry I haven't been much help take it day by day . Jen