Depression is a very odd thing. It's funny how you don't allow yourself to accept that there is a problem. If you have a sore leg, or a sore throat, you visit the doctor and the problem is generally fixable and there is a hopeful outcome. With depression, I tended to ignore a lot of, what are now, blatantly obvious symptoms. I lost over two stone, never slept and isolated myself from nearly all of my friends, except two, whom I would only ever see in order to smoke weed. Life feels like it is spiralling out of control and plummeting into a frightening pit of despair, in which there is no way out. I felt like I was trapped in my mind and it wasnt a good place. Constant feelings of isolation and loneliness were all consuming. It took me a while to realise I was hurting myself and the people closest to me felt like they were constantly walking on egg shells. The doctor put me on 20mg of citalopram, arranged counselling for me and put me in contact with lifeline and I am slowly starting to feel like my old self again. I'm not 100% better and I dont think I will be for a while. But it's a start.
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