Hi guys. From as far back as I can remember I hated Christmas. Always have and probably always will. I used to get abused on Christmas by my brother but that's all been put to bed and last year was probably the only civil one I've ever had. I was seeing someone at the time, finished therapy, I felt cracking but the thoughts killed me and still do. Anyway, I've learnt to deal with that. Recently, and I mean about 3 hours ago, I found out that my partner has been messaging other women behind my back. I genuinely feel like my heart has been ripped out. We live together, saving for a mortgage, planning to get married and have children and then BOOM... I go to put his phone on charge and I see the dating app which we met on is downloaded. I click on it thinking he must've forgotten to delete it and well, he has been a busy boy. At the moment I feel like my world is caving in. I can feel myself slipping into that black hole like I was when I had a breakdown. I'm being bullied at work, I barely have any family from what's happened, I bloody HATE Christmas and now this... All oh OT because he had a moment of weakness... I have so much strength in my body and I know I can get through this but, I just can't right now. 😭
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