I need help

This is the last thing I would resort to but I am desperate. I am losing my mind, I continue to make the same little and big mistakes that I feel like I am worthless and my family would be better off if I were gone. I feel like my mistakes and forgetfulness and clumsiness make me a horrible mother wife and person. I can't see to do anything right. I am beginning to think I am really stupid, there is something wrong with my thought process. Maybe there is no fixing me and I should put my family out of there misery. I am not worthless the stress, I am holding them back from being happy. All I want is for them to be happy. My daughter deserves a better mother. A smarter mother who uses logic and doesn't mess up this much. I try so hard tiger things right but I always end up messing things up by forgetting or damaging things

18 Replies

  • Before you do anything on impulse, PLEASE go to a professional, a minister, priest or rabbi. Your thinking will straighten out once you get some good professional help to

    assist you in finding your way out of this slump.

    Please let us hear from you soon, again. I care and so do a lot of others on this site.

    Hugs to you,


  • Hi Bella, you are not alone my sweets and you can move away from this black cloud you are presently under. But don't just try to do it alone we have so much help out there, the Samaritans are always just a phone call away. Have you had a friendly chat with your GPS there are so many different paths they can advise you on to see what is. Best suited to you.

    Reading what you have just said shows that you are a lovely mother, your compassion and worrying about your family above yourself is heartwarming, please don't ever think of taking your love away from them.

    There is no such thing as a perfect wife,mother, daughter, son, or husband, we all make so many mistakes in life , but some don't even no they are even making then, but you my sweets are anything but stupid, please believe you can move past this and will come out stronger. Depression is hard to cope with and can always rear it's ugly head and you never see it coming, but slowly and surely we all pick up coping mechanisms alone the way that can stop this downward spiral, this is a wonderful site you have come to where you have a strong voice a venting platform when needed, people can offer lots of advise on self help and links to follow along with compassion and love to know you are not alone.

    All my heart and a thousands hugs go out to you xxx moni

  • Please I think a lot of us know an have felt everything that uve stated I just want to say an forgetfulness ECt that's not u as a great person that Im sure your family think you are, I know from my experience ive felt the same as you on a lot of okashions this slipping up forgetfulness ECt is not who you are , if anything it makes you a stronger person, who u are is what your daughter loves, u need to talk to them say what's troubling you , get clear in front then if this comes again the stuff that's hurting you , you will have the support for when your feeling this way you are not alone your family loves u

  • You're not worthless you're important to those that love you. You'll leave a void that cant be filled if you go. See some one talk to someone it wont be easy but once you do it things it will get easier. Try something creative it may help focus your mind it did for me. Please if you want to talk message me.

  • I defo agree with occupying the mind in a possitive way , it preoccupies the bad shit we call an say about ourselves I love jewellery making I found something that Im ok ish at

  • Your condition is classic depression so under those circumstances you need to talk to your GP explaining your moods and fears.

    You need some talking therapy, possibly and some medication at least in the short term of four months or so. Something must have brought about you condition and the reasons are better out than in. Sometimes it is a chemical shortage in the brain and that can be treated with medications

    Good Luck with that pathway to your GP surgery with luck they will be able to find way that will at least control your problem in the long term


  • Hi Bella, I have been in same place as you are in now, I still do silly things and can't remember the easiest things.Try and do things a bit slower and see if that helps I know your mind will be rushing thinking I have to get this done or do that but when my mind is like that I put myself into a sheer panic and don't know where to start. I think you should make an app with your Dr and hopefully they will help, do you have a friend, family member or your husband you can talk to. I know it won't be an instant fix but sometimes just to get how your feeling out their gives some sort of release aahhh, please remember you are not alone even though you don't see us face to face their is people here to listen and maybe help any time of day or night, I can honestly tell you that if your thinking your family would be better off if you weren't here, you are wrong you will leave a devastated family behind !! your family love you no matter what, it's a blip in life that many of us have, life isn't easy but we have to make best of the hand that we've been dealt. I've suffered depression on and off for 35 yrs and I know it's not easy but look at your child's faces when they come in from school so happy that you are there to greet them they need to know that mum is their rock through good times and bad, but if you weren't their who would they have ? Dad will be at work and no matter how good Dad is he just isn't quite mum soft and cuddly. I hope this helps Bella, your whole entire family would crash without you, you are worth more than you think I also know you are thinking you won't be missed but believe me that is so untrue !! Take care Bella life is for living.

    P.S I am a complete stranger to you, but you have touched me that I needed to write this reply you are never alone. Someone is always around on here. 😘🌹🌹xxx

  • Hi Bella, just thought I'd pop in and see how you are ? I hope you are seeing things differentl. One day at a time, if you ever need to speak I'm here I'm not very good with PC but will try to help as I know what you are going through believe me I've been their still am to a certain point. Can you please let me know how you are ? I don't switch of and forget about you when I leave this sight. Thinking of you 🌹🌹

  • Hi Bella,

    A few ideas from a fellow sufferer.

    Maybe you are trying too hard. The stress of trying to be perfect can make you feel this way. I would suggest you visit your GP to rule out things like the menopause (apologies if this is not relevant, but it can strike at any age past 30 I think), depression, midlife crisis or something you are not facing. If none of the above apply, then maybe have a night out with your friends and a glass of wine and laugh about all those mistakes. If nothing else you are giving your family the opportunity to learn to think for themselves, rather than mollycoddling them and making them helpless and dependent.

  • Hi There,

    I've been in the same situation you have including career too. with 6 years experience in the field of work i do, when i was diagnosed with depression which went severe i made these mistakes at work which would have cost someone else their job and it wasn't something I could explain to myself or my boss and I too felt worthless and that my family would be better off without me. Now, 2 years since sorting out my depression, I'm back where I want to be and better in life and job. "never" keep telling yourself that you are bad at being a mother or a person, you're a great person and a great mother, doesn't take rocket scientist to figure that out. you just going through a bad patch and you will come out of it with stronger will power and best of all experience to help someone else who god forbid, goes through what you have.

    Go to your GP and seek advice from them. they will initially do a assessment through a set of questions and ask you how you feel. the likelihood is they might recommend a counsellor or charity to talk to and please take this up. they may also ask you to take medication. if you end up on a long waiting list for counselling then you may want to consider private counselling but assess the cost.

    Try to be positive and if you're in a situation where you feel you are making mistakes then take a step back away from it and don't get upset, a time out and then go back and try again, if you have to take time then do so, don't panic and use the time to teach yourself to take it easy and step at a time.

    let us know how you get on.

  • Hi I can't really add anything to the above except to say that there is nothing wrong with seeking help via the internet. It doesn't mean you are weak or a failure you know! I came in here not as a 'last resort' but because I had no one in my real life whom I could talk to about my depression and I needed help.

    I think you will find a lot of us joined for that reason. x

  • You know, there is a common symptom of the depression you are obviously suffering - thats what is often called "head fog". Forgetfulness, clumsiness, speech problems are all symptoms and you seem to be getting some of them.

    You need to see your doctor and explain your symptoms. He/she may prescribe you something to get you through this blip in your life.

    Don't ever, ever think your children and husband will be better off without you. can you imagine how they'd feel. The poor spouse and children of Robin Williams so wish he'd opened up to share with them. Imagine the guilt they feel - imagine the guilt your family would feel. Many of us go though periods of depression. You aren't the first one, only one or last one!

    You need a bit of help to get past this. You can always turn to us on here too.

    Much love


  • You are not all the things you say you are, your mind thinks so. Please go and see your GP as you sound depressed and anxious and may need some help calming you down.

    I do not know your background but other items maybe effecting you and putting you on edge which of course will lead to mistakes.

    Don't be so hard on yourself ☺

  • Hey, for one your family will not be better off without you. Every thing you say is the same as me and how I feel. So you are not the only one out there who feels this way, you just need to keep fighting, you are a mum so you can do anything, yes we fail at something's but that's how we learn.

    Looking after children is learning all the time. If you are feeling down and can't cope, just think of your children smiling that will help. Look at a picture of them, then you will see what ever is going on with your mind, it's no worth giving up, yes it's hard, but you are a mum, you gave birth, there is nothing harder than that.

    If you feel down, email me, I will chat, you can of load, I'm here

  • Bella

    Please stop belittling your self, in my past script I explained what you basically must do and I stand by that, you are lucky to have a family with children I do not have that because of my condition and the drugs I have to take and the problems I had in my youth.

    You need to understand, the depression you suffer from is making you feel all these negative thoughts and feelings. To understand that is the first way to recovery.

    Suicide is not the easy way out that you imagine, I cannot understand why you would want to leave your family with all your negative feelings when you die.

    When I tried, it was not me who suffered the most, it was those people who knew me that suffered all the feelings that I did not imagine they would suffer. That after many years people are still feeling the consequences of my actions at Christmas time.

    Consider your family, their loss, anger, and negative feelings that you will leave them for the rest of their lives. Sometimes it can affect your children as they will need to explain what had happened and the worry their future partner may feel as they consider wrongly that this condition runs in our family

    See you GP and ask for help, do it now and the will most probably sent out a treatment schedule to help all these negative feelings you are suffering from.

    Depression in many cases can be treated or you may just suffer relapses every now and then. Very few sufferers will take medications for the rest of their lives.

    We are here to give understanding and support, do not be a stranger


  • Bella you have had a lot of replies to your post. Do you feel able to come in and let us know you have seen them and update us on how you are please? x

  • We all need help everyday, but so many of us are too prideful to seek help. Jesus Christ was sent to show us that we don't have to try and do everything, we have help from a loving God.

    We will have challenges in life, but if we just hold out our hands and surrender-God has assigned angels to assist us and the love of Jesus Christ is very much alive.

    Just invite Jesus Christ into your life now and try God today. He will never leave you or forsake you. The words in the Bible are real and powerful to save you from all things. Even our prideful selves.

  • Hi Bella, how's things, please let us know that you are ok just even just say hi

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