Thoughts

I used to think people who committed suicide just wanted to die nothing to live for etc.

A couple yrs. Ago I was in a deep depression and the thought of swelling all my pills crossed my mind. But not because I wanted to die but because the depression was unbearable and I new that was a way of stopping how terribly I felt. Thank goodness I called my counselor told her how I felt and she told me to go to emergency room.asap. my blood pressure was sky high from anxiety they gave me a stronger anti anxiety to take until the anti depressants started working.that was 3 yrs ago doing much better now still on meds and councelling. Any body else have thoughts on why suicide happens?

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  • It's terribly hard issue to pin down but from my own experience it was the dreadful feeling of failing work , loved ones . My self. I thought everyone wold be better off without the burden of me being around . I was in a very dark scary place . I broke down at work and release I needied help . My GP was amazing .and put in place a number of measures to help at once . I can truthly say my GP saved my life . Through cbt which has given me the tools to deal with my issues and hopefully help me live with my depression and anxiety .

  • Isn't it amazing what treatment. Can do!

  • Hi I am very glad you sought help and are feeling so much better. Well done.

    I can only speak from my own experience but it was when living became much harder than dying that I thought of suicide. I did manage to find a way to live but it involved a lot of compromise which now makes me very sad.

    The other reason I go there is when I feel trapped with no way out. My last job made me feel like that, the pressure of trying to perform, needing the money etc. pushed me to the brink.

    I am retired now so don't have that pressure any more thank goodness. Bev x

  • Thank you your kindness is welcomely received..take care Ian xx

  • Yes I never wanted to die always been afraid of death. I have too much to live for husband, kids, grandkids nice home and good job. So when I had that thought to swallow all my pills and called to get help. Looking back I now realize just how powerful depression and anxiety is. And how serious. I can see how someone that hasn't experienced it would be unsympathetic and say things like just snap out of it or go do something that makes you happy. If only it was that easy. Thanks for replying

  • When my cousin committed suicide I thought a lot about this too. I saw a strong and handsome young man with a successful career and a caring and true friend. But he could of seen that for himself when he made a very devastating choice.

    Mental illness runs in my family including schizophrenia. Ironically when my aunt who suffered badly with schizophrenia died young every thought it was suicide. But the doctor investigated and said she choked on a sandwich and was by herself and died of a result of that. When my cousin died - no one suspected that. He went missing for two days and they found him alone deep in the woods with his own hunting gun.

    I am confident people don't want to die- they just want the pain to stop. Many years ago when I was am teenager i was put on Paxil and after taking that medication I started to think in the direction of suicide myself. At the time it felt like a logic choice. Depression really clouds the brain and heart! But I quit Paxil and those urges had past.

    I heard a speaker on suicide describe it as an 'Emotional Heartattack'. No different in the result of a lethal physical Heartattack because there is a family mourning the lost of their loved one.

    As a life time 'achiever' of an eating disorder I think the same could be said about food. People with eating disorders don't just want to stop eating.... There always is a rich tapestry of pain and emotional suffering to it. Things much bigger than what can be seen on the outside than the obvious eating disorder itself.

    I think talking like you are in your post is very helpful. People should talk about this so they can see that if they are feeling sucidal there is other options for them. Talking about these painful subjects helps demystify and disarm people feeling suicidal.

    I have thought about it myself even since the Paxil. And I went back to my doctor and he changed my medications. And I feel so much better now with lots of energy and hope. If someone was taking a heart attack you would call for an ambulance. And the same for someone suffering an Emotional heart attack. If someone is feeling suicidal then they also need emergency care. Some medical conditions such a vitamin definacies have been known to be linked to imbalanced thought on life. There is never shame in getting help. But there is an eternity of pain and broken lives left behind when someone they love take their own life.

  • \he thing is when your that depressed all you can think about is how bad you feel. Waiting for med. To work seems to take an eternity. When everyone says to hang in there you will feel better soon but at the moment it is so unbearable

  • Your so right it is the ones left behind that suffer . When I realised I could hurt my children , wife , family I realised taking my own life was not the answer and from that point valued to fight!!!take care . Ianxx

  • Today my mood is very low, Pax last night split a young tree, it was my fault the ties were to long and when He was out last night ran into one of the wires. My fault and admitting to that can be a good thing. Life is like that, if we can admit our errors and run with the consequences that can be a learning experience, if we do not learn and accept that action it will build upon a depression that we may already have. They say five concerns can lead to depression or anxiety. So if your family unit breaks down, you are unhappy at work or someone is ill or dying all ads up to that unforgiving list.

    Generally people find that depressive thoughts on one problem will lead to an extended problem and that in turn makes the problem worse than the initial problem.

    That may actually escalate and make matters worse. Add finance and problems paying bills etc just keeps upping the depression.

    Sometimes I suppose sadness can come back even though that problem has now been sorted. The words, WHAT IF comes to the fore and that in turn can lead back to past actions and we suffer again when we dwell on actions we had to take. The secret of course is do something to enable you to forgive the what if and move on.

    Suicide generally is a selfish thought a way to get back at people who may have caused you harm again the group of five may enter the the picture and then we all can become needy and resentful. With me I was suprised how little health professional look upon suicide as a reason to end it all. So then we need to understand we are always responsible for our actions, it is not the person that causes the problem they may have just instigated the problem in that first instance and added onto your woes.

    Generally if a problem is so deep generally the sufferer will in the first place want to make the people who have brought you the problems a feeling of regret and hopefully they will not recover from your demise, this in some ways is a selfish action as it will affect those who have not done any harm, their feelings can lead to resentment and anger at your actions. This will lead to a form of proxy blackmail for those who have been left behind. With me for example my wife will not let me collect a repeat script.

    Now She rations and control my doses so that I do not take a massive dose to end it all

    That I suppose has become me blackmailing her to look after my drugs. Again I have become not responsible for my actions, Hazel has taken that action away from me. I suppose she will look upon that as another job that has been delegated to a blackmail, will I try and commit suicide again. She will never learn just perform the actions that I have given to her

    BOB

  • I really agree with suicide being selfish in many circumstances, often the only way left to express anger about one's life having been so painful. It is an escape from life, but also the ultimate way on taking control back, of saying this is the only thing no one can stop me from doing - and really it is never possible to stop someone from committing suicide so better people realise that and choose whether they really want to die or whether they actually want someone to know and understand how hard and painful and unfair their life has been.

    In my experience the will to live is very strong in us all, but we each have our limits and sometimes life deals a person too many blows until eventually they feel unable to pick themselves up any more and collapse into anger. It is then that without someone who really understands how they feel suicide can feel like the only option.

    We are not naturally solitary beings and coping with desperation on one's own can be too hard to bear. I think it's at that stage when people give up on life and look for the only way out they can imagine.

    Most of us want someone to stop our pain - and someone can help bring it to an end - they can't change the past, or present or perhaps not even future (think of the terminally ill) but the understanding of another together with the possibility of sharing the very worst feelings of anger at the injustice of having felt so bad for so long can ease the pain and make suicide feel more scary a thought than living.

    The lovely thing about being human is that we are able, with the right support from others, to make something different in our minds out of the experiences we have been dealt, however dreadful those experiences have been. Art, poetry, music, novels, empathy for others, are all born out of a need to make something out of experience that is different from what it actually was like - usually, though not always, because it has been painful.

    Being creative takes energy which we do not always have when we are depressed, but with support the load feels lighter and there is a little more energy to perhaps attempt to make something different than it has been.

    Whew... that does sound philosophical, I always seem to lapse into that way of thinking at night, ready for dreaming maybe :)

    Night Bob.x

  • Hi Sue what a great Post, I agree that as humans we want to live and we are

    Hard wired to exist. When we feel there is no place for us. Or we feel utterly lonely , and Depressed then Suicide can seem like an option.

    If we work through the pain and the mess we can emerge a much happier person,

    In an ideal world no one would commit suicide, but if people are psychotic or suffering

    From Schizophrenia , then suicide is a real risk.

    Lots of great artists and creatives have committed suicide , Robin Williams and

    Lots of Hollywood stars, so it's no respecter of ability .

    Hannah xxx

  • Ginalee, sometimes when you're testing psychotropic drugs, and you have strange feelings, tell yourself that it may not be you! It could just be the side effects of the meds. I used to be on anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds and I'll tell you, they were the culprits many times of horrible feelings. Also, try and be consistent with your medications. If you forget to take a pill, the withdrawal effects could appear even two days later sometimes.... When I was taking a popular anti-anxiety drug as needed, when it would wear off, the withdrawal symptoms created anxiety and panic that was worse than the original anxiety. Don't feel like everything is you—it could be the drug(s). Hope you're feeling better. Hang in there. Life is a pain-in-the-*ss, but you have us to cheer you up! ;)

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