Just a thought : Hi this is my first... - Mental Health Sup...

Mental Health Support
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Just a thought

CARL82
CARL82

Hi this is my first post I am struggling with my mental health I am a violent person not towards my family but when out drinking or at the football all depending on the mood am in I can snap in a instance my home life and work life is hard i was beaten has a child for numerous of years I have a wonderful wife well paid job and 2 children my daughter is a angel where has my son has autism and is very demanding while also going through puberty which makes things harder I have overcome drug use and constant fighting now I try to keep myself out of trouble and enjoy myself but some days I am bouncing and in a good place then other days I am dark hate people hate my job hate who I am I other think situations and end up paranoid and frustrated thinking people are against me something so little can be huge to me and my mind works overtime recently I have been thinking of ways to end the pain and stop it but my reasons to still be here are stronger then my reasons has not to be here I have everything but still I am low and frustrated I have had therapy and I take 100 mg of sertraline but this last few weeks I have been broke work family all getting me down I have wrote this has I felt it needed to come out not really sure why I have wrote this but this weekend just gone I let myself down resulting in letting a lot of other people down in the process people who have gave me chance after chance but feel my luck has run out I binge drink to blank myself out but unable to remember things like talking to my wife on the phone or who scored the goal at football matches I don’t have a drink problem I just enjoy getting drunk when I go out builds my confidence up and self esteem made me feel better just writing this not sure who to but it has

44 Replies
oldestnewest

Sounds like depression and anxiety. You've got underlying childhood issues.

How often are you in therapy?

Your sertraline is not at max dose. Is there a reason that haven't increased it?

You have a lot going on and I can feel your frustration through your post.

Are you saying you drink to black out or hide your feelings ? Neither is good for you.

Maybe getting back to the md and getting some med changes would work? It's worth a try.

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to Dolphin14

Thank you I was on 150 mg sertraline and it was too much I know I shouldn’t drink on my meds but 150 mg I was forgetting things not given a care in the world it was like nothing was bothering me quite dangerous that I couldn’t remember any thing

Dolphin14
Dolphin14
in reply to CARL82

Oh that's not good. But doesn't sound like what you are on is helping your symptoms. Mayb they should try another drug.

I am back at the doctors today took my self away from social media Facebook snap chat etc staying off the drink for a while and taking a few weeks from work try to reset myself I have lost my motivation to get back into my gym or on my bike so need a time out I think

Bunny53
Bunny53
in reply to CARL82

I'm no expert on mental health but I have had my own problems mentally and health wise and serious probs with my OH. I also have at least 2-3 siblings with various mental health issues I have had to deal with.

During my own problems i find that social media is and does cause too many problems.... get off it and stay off it. Who needs to see or listen to endless selfies (insecurities or vanity) or Woh is is me posts ( attention seeking) . These people have nothing better to do and need constant likes, as if itS important!! And Memes!!! Well say no more. All that can do your head in!

I suffered abuse as a child and understand how that can affect your life forever but being positive and taking control have helped me. I dont take illegal drugs and I dont indulge in botox or such as it eventually destroys your face.

What I'm saying is by helping yourself with your own problems you may be able to prioritise when, when and how you can get help. Write things down for a plan. Talk to your partner, let them help you. Small steps. Take up a hobby you can all enjoy or just you and OH.

Also go back to the doctor for referral to mental health again as you do sound that you would like to end this vicious cycle you're in. But PLEASE dont do anything stupid as your family love you and want to see you better. Take care and good luck.

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to Bunny53

First of all I am sorry for your own pain and thank you for sharing that with me I am making small steps I have come off social media too much negativity I am not having a drink until the 8 of February might sound wrong to have a date but like I said previous it’s not something I am wanting to give up completely.

illegal drugs are long gone they are way back in my past helped me block a lot of pain out few years back but there not the answer and will never go back down that road and am going to spend some quality time with my wife while I am off on the sick from work even going into TK max or Homebase etc or just sitting in Costa coffee chatting that is my goal to spend extra time with my rock bring my wife need to do some other things next week not this week has don’t feel very well but some of these things I need to do can help me has well work is a major issue I don’t feel I am being treated the correct way since having my accident asking for help regarding my mental state off my manager union rep and safety advisor my Supervisour and nothing no help at all this I will be dealing with it’s gone far enough and time I went higher up regarding this matter but like I said that’s another day need to o get my self back on track and begin to march on thank you so much

Bunny53
Bunny53
in reply to CARL82

I'm so glad to hear you are making steps towards getting better and sincerely hope it all works out well for you. It takes time but with it in the end. Enjoy your time off to recover and keep positive most of the time. Staying off social media I can highly recommend as it wastes so much of your valuable time. Best wishes to you.

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to Bunny53

Thank you means a lot you too

You mustn't give up on yourself or your family, there are anger management courses or books. Little bit of calming meditation may help - google mindful meditation youtube. Having someone talk you out of it is important - whether your wife or friend - talk to them about controlling your temper - you matter and people around you will be more than willing to help. Use this site for your situation and problems - people here will help. Learn nothing should get the better of you and is that important to get all your emotions tangled up. Stay strong, caring, sharing and loving - living for yourself and family - very important to take yourself and other in to account and are to thought of too

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to indervir

My friends and some family are brilliant the support I have is great from them that’s why I am addressing my issues yet again but truth be told am tired I sit down and just want to go to sleep I have had to pull over at the side of the road driving home from work nearly falling asleep I could feel myself over the weeks getting less patent and more frustrated that’s the problem deep down I properly went to football knowing I would have a blow out and let some steam off so to speak wish I wasn’t like this am 37 years old and not wanting to keep letting people down

Im sorry you're going through your mental health issues. Your drinking blackouts sound more problematic than reaction you say you had from antidepressants.

Also many people I know who have recovered from drug addiction find themselves addicted to alcohol (and vice versa). Maybe you should consider trying AA in your self treatment plan.

Some sort of treatment sounds warranted. As it was in my case. But we all travel our own paths Keep posting and let us know how you're doing

If am honest my drinking time is more of a compensation for not drinking I try not to drink unless I am going out very rare I drink through the week but when I go out with my mates I drink fast to get myself confident strange I know but it’s what I do I can also flip without drink has me and a work colleague had to be separated at work when I grabbed him round the throat in a argument when I fist stated my meds I would have overcome that I let it go over my head I have asked work for help which is a massive company in the UK but from a accident I had at work over a year ago I have not had much support from my management because of a injury claim I put in so this just adds to my ever growing problems but with my industry I am trapped the only work I would have to do if I left this place would be working away from home which is not possible at the minute with our autistic son it’s like am trapped me and my wife can’t even spend a night away together with the problems our son has

Just a update I told him my problems he has upped my dose again saying I need to let the meds get control before he can put me on other meds wants to see me in a fortnight and signed me off work to reset

First time I knew about this group and to them that have commented thank you

Hi there, it sounds as if everything is getting on top of you and that's quite understandable. Now that your doctor has signed you off for two weeks, make them weeks count. Try to do something that you all enjoy if that's possible. Even if it's for a lovely walk in the park, notice what's around you, and feel the fresh air on your face. Having relaxing times like that may help with your mood. But most importantly have some me time where you can just chill. Hope you feel better soon, and if after two weeks your still not ready to go back, return to your Dr's and have another week or so.

Thank you going to go different places through the day with my wife while our son is at school just things we don’t usually do if am honest nice walk with our little dog or a trip to the retail park and basically keep my self active really do appreciate the comments and advice you people are giving thank you and has well has my self not feeling very well I hope you are all in a good place

Hi sertraline did not help me I was like you too I don’t do counsellors as I don’t want to talk about things my doctor gave me venlafaxine I am on 150mg a day after three months of taking them it was like the fog in my head lifted maybe go back to doctor good luck and don’t worry you’re not alone

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to Seddy85

The doctor has upped my sertraline to 150 mg again seeing me in a fortnight to see if there’s other medication I can take he wanted me back in a good place so upped my dose to get me in the correct frame of mind said I had to do this before he could put me on any thing else but thank you

Good luck maybe if you feel yourself getting wound up take a breath and walk away even if you’re half way through a conversation just walk away sometimes you’ll get people just trying to push your buttons

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to Seddy85

My industry I find that a lot few months back the meds where working fine could let stuff go and not let the things in life frustrate me then one day I wake up it’s like I went back to the beginning horrible how your own mi d can turn against you isn’t it now am back on 150mg no alcohol for a while both together are dangerous

I can relate to that I got to the point of taking twenty cocodamol a day because it numbed my whole body and mind luckily my mum noticed I was zombified and dragged me to the doctors finally after two years I feel kinda normal and can now count on one hand my true friends

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to Seddy85

Glad to hear you got sorted and had a family who care helps a lot having people by your side I have good friends so that’s a massive lift if am honest

Thank you that’s good you’ve got a good support network I start my uni course February finally seizures under control aswell I feel a bit old for uni but I got made redundant and my husband said to me to do what I’ve always wanted so I thought bows the best time keep us updated on how things go with meds hopefully they may kick in a bit more now 🤗

Thank you and good luck with uni never too old to follow your dreams take care it feels great talking to people in the same situation but also feels great talking to strangers

CARL82 just wanted to say you don't have to drink alcohol every day for it to be a problem. Alcohol causes anxiety, depression and anger issues. I think if you want to be better you really will have to consider giving up alcohol for good, there is help out there. I have been clean and sober for 16 years, best decision ever.

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to Sasical

Seen has I am being open and honest I gave up smoking because I wanted to I gave up drugs for the same reason of wanting to at the minute I am not wanting to give alcohol up might sound bad but I am not ready for that step just yet I can only give something up if my mind tells me I want to

Have you every been diagnosed or told you have ADHD? I know that sertraline is a non-stimulant alternative for ADHD, but many find it is not as effective as stimulant treatment.

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to RCJH8610

Never been diagnosed with ADHD and in a fortnight me and my doctor can address this and see what other meds would suit me thank you

_Alex_
_Alex_
in reply to RCJH8610

Some antidepressants are used as a treatment for ADHD, but I have never heard of sertraline or other SSRIs being used.

Just had a quick look at your post, yep sounds like a quite a lot going on,nobody likes giving lectures out, but at least you've been honest,I would definitely knock the drinking on the head for a while,its a vicious circle, and the problem with drink is you can have a couple and feel great and then all of a sudden the light switch moment goes off in your head,the euphoria and giggles and happiness can turn into anger, someone accidentally knocking you in the pub etc,and the demon drink can take over, some folk are happy drinkers,some just become sad,and others becomes angry,binge drinking is not good either,you've got your family unit to keep intact, and I understand that you say son is demanding,keep a level head,your family will be relying on you,sometimes when you are letting people down the problems are getting slightly worse than what you think they are maybe, we all need to let of steam,but is drinking the best solution to your answers, but hats off to you for seeking help and getting medication ,you've had plenty of good advice, I wish you and your family all the best for the future

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to Cb1963

Thank you so much I am taking the advice in and will be thinking of the last solution of giving drink up I am staying off it for a while but at the minute can’t see myself giving it up completely but I agree with what you have said and your very correct

Cb1963
Cb1963
in reply to CARL82

No worries mate,the problem with drink is that it's so freely available, now just because everyone is telling you to give it up,thats where the problem begins,I don't drink anymore, that was my choice, not forced upon me,you'll find your mates saying oh come on just have 'one' it won't harm you, but they don't have your family home life, nor do they have your well paid job,it doesn't make you mr boring anymore just because you're not out get hammered with the lads,all it takes if you kick off in the pub or elsewhere and you accidentally hit someone and you get nicked,fare chance a police record, lose your job,the missus looking at you differently, and then things really start to change rapidly, the whole picture of your life has changed,and them drinking mates of yours will no longer will be around, they'll have settled down into married life, just see how you get on,we all think differently especially when beer is in front of us,well,trust me,the beer will still be there, plenty of others will take up the challenge, you know the funniest thing about going out and watching people drinking is seeing the personality changes in an evening drinking session is either amusing or frightening, try it,you'll be surprised, but you sound positive, and be amazed how little you spend lol

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to Cb1963

Am afraid have already had my fare share of trouble with the law violence criminal damage public Order etc not proud of it but it’s happened and like I said earlier am being honest with you people who are kind enough to give me advice and hopefully this gives a picture of who I am or what I was or even what I can still become I have friends who steer me away from spirits if am that way out truth be told I suffered violent upbringing and very confusing upbringing but my way of release was going out fighting and causing carnage picking fights causing trouble having a autistic child has changed me in that aspect I know boundaries when it comes to him but I still get caught up in trouble away from my home life it’s a pressure release I have got away with more then I have been caught for regarding disorder it’s my buzz or was my buzz but still have blips sometimes

Cb1963
Cb1963
in reply to CARL82

Yep,understand, unfortunately father time catches up with us all eventually, I thought I was 'invincible' and we don't heal up,or recover as easy,so I thought I'd rather spend more time on planet earth, then walk round with my head in a alcoholic haze,as we get older, we get wiser,thats a judgement call I made,I don't judge people only pass on free advice, we all make mistakes, and probably will continue until our dying days,and the reason I stopped drinking, my friend and I went out drinking, I came downstairs and found him hanging, so that screwed my head up for years,I've not touched a drink for 8 years,I ended up as an alcoholic, so we all have reasons why drinking affects our heads,mine was done in,but I'm living proof,that you can turn a bad situation in to a realistic life,and be successful in whatever you want,so be strong, and who knows what the future holds for you, good luck.

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to Cb1963

Thanks again has am reading each comment that comes through it’s helping me to understand some other people’s pain and suffering has well has my own so in a strange way where all getting things out in the open just by having this conversation I know I will never meet any one in here but to talk to you feels good and I am happy that while typing I can be true full and open to you all from a positive side maybe someone who is not commenting may be getting a little help they need take care onwards and upwards I use mood cards has a little weapon I have both sets for moods and deep emotions I go through the cards picking out the ones how I feel at the time sadly there’s a few have chosen today so I will write the mood / emotion am feeling and try to write a comment from the negative side and then try to think of a positive I learned this from the Mind group just my way of trying to help some one back thanks again

kenster1
kenster1
in reply to CARL82

our son is autistic as well.

There autism support groups for autism parent or parents with autism children or people with autism myautismteam and on facebook their are autism support groups and topics or pinterest has topics teaching lesson with autism and their are other support groups for problems like yours, drinking and anger management - hope it is useful

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to indervir

Thank you we are going through it with our son at the minute he attends a special school for disabilities and he’s turned into a teenager so extra problems he breaks things hurts our dog kicks off swears lashes out we still have to bath him wipe is bum etc he’s hard work and we are drained with him is PA has quit for personal reasons so the school authorities are trying to get something sorted to give us a break

So along with my childhood maybe damage through drug use work and home life have just broke seeked help before was put on meds and given therapy through the NHS for a few sessions then I went to see the Mind group who where brilliant but can only offer so long of therapy thou to funds but it helped I had 6 weeks with mind and enjoyed talking to the lady was honest and truthful to give myself and then the proper channels to help me but mental health is massive now and funds are scarce

hi know a guy about 49 he is like you in terms with the football its like weekend adrenalin for him.i used to get involved with fighting at the football but it was escaping my reality being brought up in care it gave us an identity different from what we knew.your childhood surely plays a part in it all alcohol and medication is a bad mix ive discovered to many times.we can educate ourselves in the right and wrongs but we still need support from things that occurred in our childhood.illegal drugs thrown in to the mix will obviously make it worse thankfully I managed that on my own.

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to kenster1

I agree totally I curb the drugs myself and have tried putting the troubles behind me but has you know we can slip and fall flat on our faces and thank you for your advice am 37 years old now and if am honest getting tired of the physical pain has well has the mental pain and can’t afford another trip to prison would ruing my family and everything I have worked for

kenster1
kenster1
in reply to CARL82

yeah I used to get into a lot of trouble but it was tragedy that made me think about my life I aint perfect yeah I have the odd blip as well but its usually me being pushed on something to react but thankfully very seldom now.

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to kenster1

Great to hear mate hope I can get back to my good state of mind and not let things get to me and hope you keep on the rite path

kenster1
kenster1
in reply to CARL82

yeah I like being in my little bubble I don't bother anyone or cause anyone any trouble its the best way to be having anxiety is hard enough.

CARL82
CARL82
in reply to kenster1

Think I will try to get in a bubble of my own cheers mate

kenster1
kenster1
in reply to CARL82

cool anytime carl..

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