I went to the doctors this morning to ask for help regarding my long battle with depression and all i got was u should watch this inspirational movie ''the way'' and take long walks. I told him I am aware i have a problem and I have tried self help, i feel sometimes emotionally paralysed, when i go through these episodes of depression i shut myself from the world until I feel better, i cant control this feelings of utter hoplessness i get at times like that. Working in customer service is hard bcos when i go through those phases, I have to fake my smile and chirpiness and hide my gloomy expression. I want to be normal just like everyone else. I thought when i was in college it was normal to be the way i was, hide away and distract myself with food and movies and get back to the world. It was only when i went through my childhood diary with a friend that I realised and was made aware that every sentenced i started in a different post was that i was feeling depressed. These were just few little things that made me aware of it, i thought i was just abnormal and hated myself for being weak. Its hard to get help when people and even professionals are dismissive of your mental health.