my first,day off in to weeks and back to another 6 days 12 shifts this week. I felt great last night and now I feel absolutely,awful. My ipad feels like it makes random punctionation signs sometimes . My boyfriend spent yesterday with the guys saying he got stuck staying late because someone blocked his truck in at his friends house. And now he is sitting on his rear waiting for some friend of his to stop of storages in his garage. And I am free for the first time in 14 days and I am alone. He might come by tonight - he is not sure. He lives with his mother and not currently working and i really am feeling ill over this. If I take the Lorzapam my day off is ruined became I will get very tired. I was doing so well this morning. Now i feel are kind of tangible anger and sickness. He explained the relationship is as it going to be. If I don't take the Lorzapam my day, also will ruined. I rarely feel rage but right now I feel it. And it makes my gut feel spongy. I work so much and my job is stressful. It would be nice not to be alone now.