Today once again my boss at work has destroyed me. I really don't know how to deal with this. I am being a scapegoat and he does this to everyone not just me. But I am tried of having to cry and feel a knot in my stomach everyday.
I left early today. I am thinking about finding a way to go part-time. But my morning shift connects into my evening shift. So whom ever does my morning shift probably should be doing the evening shift.
I repeated this so many times how I work a split shift 6 days a week and feel I never able to enjoy my afternoons because I know I am not 'done" for the day. I actually looked on line to work seasonal work in a hotel in the laundry department. Not my career I studied for. . But then I would not be treated like his anymore. To throw away my entire career because I am not mentality fit seems really pathetic. I do feel a panic attack coming on now because of my breathing and sweating. This is so in humane for a person to have to feel this way when they have done nothing other than what they were told to do. My mind feels like it is going to snap. I have not eaten anything at all in 24 hours and the only pleasure I seek right now is to go to bed. I actually am not working tonight because there is a project going on that has nothing to do with me. So at 4pm I plan on going to bed until morning and get up and go to work again. My apartment needs to be cleaned but I am too tired emotionally To do what needs to be done.😓