I feel really sick and restless right now. It feels like I am waiting out a storm a sea. I have whiskey in the house and decided against that. I rarely drink. One reason I stopped was I was finding no matter how much I had I was not getting a nice light feeling anymore. I could have six shots and I would feel all serious and would take some weird pleasure in talking to people I knew without them being able to tell I was drinking. There was a time when I had a couple of shots and just felt good. There has been times I drank to aleve boredom. It is cool to see I am so depressed I can't even bother to drink. Not that I ever had a problem. Another serious fear I have is mixing alcohol in my system will all my prescription medications. February was the last time I drank and honestly got nothing out of it. I was and am feeling very poorly and laughed at myself for being so depressed I couldn't even be bothered to have a drink. Which is of course a good thing. Thinking of the calories also stops me. All the bad things my life are keeping me off drinking. Depression/anxiety medication reaction fears, and my eating disorder. I hate beer and wine. I only ever liked hard liquor. I am feeling so empty and anxious I would try just about anything. But I don't want to drink. That is a blessing really.