Good bye

[quah]

Things have turned from worse to even worse. I tried everything and even thought I might find happiness. Nothing more than a fantasy. I should have known that nothing could work for me. That has been the story of my life. Only one way out so I'm taking the plunge into a new dimension. No more worries or pain. Let's hope I'm successful!

[UnwelcomeVisitor]

I am sad to read some of the comments you make about yourself and that you feel.

Speaking for myself I felt very down and depressed and everyone in the world was dark and doom and gloom. Therefore I can appreciate how well how you could be feeling.

For myself, I realised that I could not cope with this all by mysel, so I got myself to see a counsellor, and thank the Good Lord I am now starting to feel better than I was.

As friendly advice may I suggest that you do the same.

I wish you well.

Richard

[angse]

Hi Quah no matter how hard and painful life is for us, this is not the answer, happiness could come to you in time, I urge you to speak to someone ASAP the Samaritans are very good, and non judgemental, things are very overwhelming when you are in a dark place, but please talk to someone, we care here also, we really do. I would be so grateful if you got back to us on this site, and let us know how you are, one more thing are you under medical care, you can always go to A+E they will help hear from you soon. Annette. Lots of hugs

[quah in reply to angse]

Thank you for your kind message. Happiness will never come. I have my pills ready for tonight once I'm completely alone. Can't really see another way out.

[angse in reply to quah]

Hi Quay

Please get outside help, you can get it tonight it is available, get yourself to A+E or as bob said 111, bob has given you bril!ant advice, I know really, 4 years ago my nephew John committed suicide, because my sister his mother died of cancer, his father died 9 months later, 6 months after that my nephew Gary commuted suicide, my other sisters son, the grief was and still is unbearable, we saw no outward signs at all, we are still suffering to this day, and we blame ourselves for missing any signs that this was going to happen so p!ease don't be another statistic, all the best to you. Annette

[Obriens3 in reply to quah]

Quah,I really hope you have thrown those pills away and looked at all the lovely support messages you have. We are all here for you. Xx chuck them down the drain. You have been very quiet please let us know how you are doing xx

[Obriens3 in reply to Obriens3]

I'm very worried about you. Xx please post and get back to us xx

[Hidden]

Hello quah

I remember that you were on this site several months ago, then you were wanting to end it all.

Several years ago I tried to commit suicide and was taken into the local A and E, Believe me when I say that most of us regret trying to end it all as it is always those who we would leave behind that would really suffer.

When taken into hospital much of the treatments they will perform on you is not that nice and really those who treat you have seen it all before.

In the seventies I was involved in a really bad car accident and nearly lost my life. In the next door bed was a patient who had tried to end it all and I remember the actions of the staff as they tried to save this man. He was about twenty years old and had taken a massive overdose of pain medications that had been produced in a illegal laboratory.

The Staff did what they had to do and the sad part about it was they had brought him around and the patient was actually thankful to be brought back.

Sad to say the doctors had been too late and the patient was told there was to much damage done to His insides, He died three days later wanting to live. All because He had fallen out with His Girlfriend, She had found out that He had tried to kill himself and now had to be told He was possibly going to die days later.

You can try many different methods to end it all, you need to believe me when I say it is not the patient who dies. It is the people left who has to deal with all the negativity caused by your actions.

Give yourself a break, see your GP or phone up 111 and get help. I am still here and believe me when I say we all have things to look forward to, we just need to make some changes and your life may change to something more acceptable to your needs.

When it happened to me I began to understand that to try suicide is the action of a coward. It is the opposite to live as it makes us brave to live as we never know what we have missed if we where dead.

One question to ask yourself is.

Ask yourself, what if all suicides that were successful ended up in a parallel Universe.

The problem was you had to come back to this sorry world and relive all your errors again and again, is it not better just to live this life and get it over with and not allow anyone to send you back again and again.

MANY HAPPY RETURNS, it makes me think ???.

BOB

[Hidden]

Hi bob so true your words of help . Three weeks ago I hit rock bottom and was very close to suicide . A emergency counciling session with a brilliant councillor made me look at the pain I would cause to my lovely children and gorgeous wife. He pointed out to me that children who suffer the pain of a parent killing them selves could go on to commit suicide themselves. I could never hurt my children like that . So even thou I'm struggling with dark moods at present will not contain plate suicide or hurting my self again . Ian

[angse in reply to Hidden]

Hi Herdy just wanted to say well done. Annette

[Obriens3]

Hi there, let's hope you have not been successful and still with us. Let's talk about why you feel this way and what we can do to help and get you some support. Like the other replies I also unsuccessfully tried the suicide route many years ago. I'm glad I failed and I'm still here. Things can and will change. Personally im glad that I failed. I felt so much worse after the attempt but after that the only way was up. Please talk x

[quah]

I'm trying to get help. I took a couple and feel lost and hopeless. I'm too unwell to go out. Thank you for your messages.

[Hidden in reply to quah]

Hello quah

What has caused your situation, we are all good listeners here can we help ???

BOB

[WantToChange in reply to quah]

Don't do it. I know life is hard and cruel.

"There's no way to explain, why life is filled with so much pain.

But do the flowers ever grow, in the places it don't rain?"

These lyrics always help me somewhat. It reminds me to hold on during dark times because there is always beauty that can be found in the world. There is always beauty to be found within oneself. It's always there, even if our mind won't let us see it properly.

Don't take anymore. You can still come back from this by simply not taking anymore pills. It would be a horrible way to die and very slow as the body begins to shut down. It is a slow poison which your body will try to fight.

How are you doing at the moment?

[Obriens3]

Thank god your still here. We all care, very worried about you. Xx

[quah]

Help is arriving. Thank you to everyone. I was feeling very down. I'm nearing poverty and my health is in decline. I thought my partner was rejecting me on top of everything else and I could not bare to live without him.

[Hidden in reply to quah]

Good Morning quah

How are you today are you feeling any better than what you felt twelve hours ago did help arrive and give support.

Relationships can end and when this happens we pick ourselves up and begin to look for another partner.

When relationships end I suppose that could be the sign that the relationship will not work and that can lead you on to a better more whole relationship several months later

That happened several times to me and now I have been married for thirty years and all the sadness of losses of old relationships can be put into perspective and understand that those loses lead me down a pathway where I found my life partner, who we can talk and know their actions before they happen.

Remember the darkness always comes before the dawn

We are always here too help

BOB

[CarolineLondon]

Quah you're a smart person what's to be gained by suicide, really? I mean once you are gone it's over end of, a kind of enteral blackness well until you come back as someone else or next doors cat!

Look if you stick around you have a chance to change things, once your gone it's game over, so what have you got to lose, NOTHING.

Here's the deal you feel crappy because you THINK you should be like this at your age, own that, have this have done that...etc. It's all rubbish. This is your life for you to play with not anyone else.

STUFF everyone else, they don't like you its their problem. You are loved, deep down inside you know you're loved. And what's not to love right, you're a kind, gentle, an intelligent person, who helps others when he can!

So lets take a step back you and I, slowwwww EVERYTHING right down. Take it minute by minute hour by hour, what do you have to lose, you can spare a few days to set this right.

It starts with really looking and seeing, you ARE a master at life, you have a roof over your head, food in your mouth, running water from a tap in your home, you have all your limbs and you can walk and talk intelligently. So you achieved that, that's a really good start to build anything from. So now we know we are safe, no ones going to attack you.

So how about we look at the happiness thing, your brain is a muscle like any other muscle it needs exercise something to chew on or it will chew on you and try and kill you. I'm willing to bet you, you are happier when you are learning something new. This is your time now for you to invest in you. Forget others and their stupid expectations, they could get run over by a bus tomorrow, who cares what they think! Like they have the answers... they don't!

Make it your mission to find what makes you happy, BE SELFISH! I mean reeeeallly selfish, why not you still have nothing to lose the choice it between being selfish and dying, so lets choose selfish. Now an easy way to find what you love is go back to when you were a small child.

Did you love drawing like me, or if your a chap and I'm taking it you are sorry if I'm wrong, maybe sport was your thing, maybe you can sing or dance, maybe you love to read it doesn't matter what it is. Do it now to saturation immerse yourself in it, I mean what's the choice a game of Tennis or death. Do you see where I'm headed, if you have decided to 'pop your clogs', give up life why not squeeze as much fun and enjoyment out as you can before you go. What do you have to lose nothing!

As you pursue what you love with dogged determination watch your life change, now Im not saying you will be a pop star millionaire over night, but things can and will get better. But part of that is really 'knowing' what you want and to do that you need to enjoy stuff, experiment, forget time, forget achieving anything in fact make it your job NOT to achieve anything just immerse yourself in what you love. Do it till you can't do it any longer, do it in all your spare time, in all your waking time.

DONT STOP Quah don't EVER stop and don't let anyone ANYONE EVER STOP YOU...no matter what. Believe me they will try and you just push them aside and carry on YOU HAVE EXACTLY nothing to lose.

Dont achieve, don't prove anything, don't please anyone, don't give your life purpose, don't change anything just spend 24/7 doing stuff you love however goofey and see how long you can do if for without passing out!

Soon as someone says you cant do that, say watch me and do it. THIS IS YOUR LIFE...FOR YOU! Not me, not your family, not your mum, not your cat (well maybe your cat:-). Enjoy your 'GOD given' right to be you and frankly F*ck everyone else. You are a wonderous human being ONE of a kind an original.

Humans are pack animals and we all NEED you even if you don't believe us and we can't prove how, you were given life because you are extremely special and immensely important!!!. We as a race cannot survive without you, you would be a missing part in our jigsaw and I for one want to thank you for your part in Our Universe.

Take nothing for granted, please no one, prove nothing. Enjoy every second you can, any second you can and if you fall off the wagon, get right back on and say this is not good enough for me. I must have the best I can create.

Someone stupid once made you feel less than you are that person was a 100 carrot gold idiot.

You can do this, I have complete faith. Now go out there and WASTE ALOT of time! Remember your mission is to achieve Nothing, have NO goal, make NO money, just do what you love until your brain remembers it's your right to enjoy life and you know how to do that, you just forgot and when you are good at it, working that muscle, watch your life change for the better.

Suicide Quah you don't have time for that, you have much better things to do

XX

My vice is Jigsaws...honestly can you think of anything more pointless....I love it!

[21esme]

How are you today? I hope you have opened up to someone about how you are feeling and that help arrived.

Is there anything anyone can do to help. You've mentioned poverty and declining health. What support or options do you have? I'm not sure where you live.

Life, however hard it is, must still be worth fighting for.

Sarah x

[quah]

Thank you for caring. It was very difficult and this morning as well. A counselor helped me and a very close friend. I'm trying to get financial support. Everything is happening at once. Some very challenging things and I don't have the resilience to deal with it. My health is fragiy. In very dark moments I plunge. That's when I hurt myself. Thank you for your kind words. It did help last night.

[21esme in reply to quah]

When everything happens at once it can be overwhelming and your normal resilience just can't cope. I felt this way when I had a breakdown, I was just bombarded with problems which I couldn't cope with.

I'm pleased that you got some support and hopefully you will slowly find your way through it,

Sarah x

[quah in reply to 21esme]

The problem is that help is brief and in short supply. I'm alone again and plunging. I don't know how to hang on to life or whether I can survive any of this. Thanks for your message.

[21esme in reply to quah]

Please hang on. Ring the Samaritans to get you through if you are unable to have physical support at present. Take every minute/ hour as it comes. Deep breaths and focus on just getting through until tomorrow,

Sarah x

[trekster22]

Hugs and pleased your getting some help