The thoughts in my head are so loud, I can't make sense of them or fix them. It is so noisy and my head is messy. I have wanted to be alone for days but now I am I'm scared. The silence is deafening. I am so miserable, angry, agitated, lonely, crowded and anxious all rolled into one messy person. I am exhausted and just need to relax but I can't.
I don't want to die I just don't want to be me!
I have battled these demons for too long now and sometimes give in to the thoughts to help me cope.
I just want out.
Nothing makes me feel better, even when I have a few hours relief something unknown to me just sets off inside me and the anxiety consumes me.
I try talking to people but no one seems to hear me or realise just how close to the edge I am!
I feel like I live my life as two separate people. One who everyone wants me to be and the one I really am! These two people are constantly in battle with each other. I am never really relaxed and at ease I don't even know who the real me is! At the moment the real me is an anxious psychotic mess who swings from anxiety to rage in an instant.
I give up I can't do this anymore.