I have decided to go into a hospital/burn out center to try and get myself into a healthier routine. This means that my son has to be with

[SOSPLEASE]

someone else for tow weeks. I have been raising him alone since he was 5 and it makes me nervous even though I know it will probably be good for me. I am also scared of what I might learn about myself. I have suffered from depression for over 30 years, and have been back on a large dose of meds for 3 months now. I am sleeping with the help of a drug for psychosis which made me really unhappy to take because I don't suffer from psychosis but depression and anxiety. It works though and I have been sleeping for almost 2 months through. I really hate taking all this medication but I am feeling much better. I am not going to get off the meds but to learn to cope with my depression and anxiety. I have had a horrible time on and off for the last 30 years and I hope this helps! Any thoughts?

[gardengnome]

just a thought about explaining the situation to the five year old, have you and the person looking after him during your visit agreed what you are telling him? If you give two different explanations he might get nervous himself.

Brave lady, don't be too scared of what you will learn about yourself, you sound like someone who is already quite self-aware. Hopefully you will gain something to make your own and your sons' life better in the long run.

Would love to know well it went afterwards.

[SOSPLEASE in reply to gardengnome]

Thank you! I told my son, he is 13, that I need to learn how to cope with stress and my sleeping problems. He has a choice of two places to stay, both of which are trusted families who will look after him well, He is just very fixed on me since we have been alone for over 8 years, as his father moved away and sees him only three times a year. I think it may be also good for him to know I come back, but well of course I am concerned. I will definitely let you know the outcome! I really hope it helps

[ThemysciraDrive]

I think being a single parent is very difficult, and I would think having a healthier routine would probably help. At the end of the day, if you think it will help you feel better, go for it and don't be scared. Actually, finding out about yourself is a good experience - at least that's what I've found - and it should help you deal with the root causes of depression better than medication, which really just stabilises you. Does your son know why you're going away?

Also, I'm on a group CBT course at the moment - we don't meet again until January, but when we do we are covering natural ways to help you sleep, as a lot of the groups have problems with that. Would you like me to pass on anything I get out of that?

Themys

[SOSPLEASE in reply to ThemysciraDrive]

I would really appreciate it, I would love to sleep without medications. My doctor says that my trouble lies in not being bale to let go, being afraid of not having control, which makes sense I guess but is really counterproductive for me, as it is not conscious for me, I have learned to give in to having it all under control and letting things happen naturally, that said my brain works overtime most of the time. Thank you for your reply.

[Gambit62]

Agree with Gardengnome about your son.

Really good that you have managed to find a place and I hope it all goes well - they can be very useful places and being away from your normal life gives you the chance to practice new skills slightly away from the temptation to slip into old habits - and there will be loads of people there who are going through the same thing.

Natural to worry about what you are going to find out about yourself - but it will probably be that you are too hard on yourself - we are all our own worse judges. Again, there will be people around you to help you come to terms with anything and everything. Think the most important thing is to be honest and open.

[SOSPLEASE in reply to Gambit62]

Thank you for your kind and understanding words, I am going to see this through!

[Hidden]

Hello

SOS

Well all I can say to you is good luck,

Our medications are a problem for all of us and we end up with one medication fighting the others we are taking. so no wonder we get confused

The action that you have started should put life into some perspective and you will be able to see you are not alone with this condition we all suffer.

All I can say is, here hoping all goes well with you

BOB

[SOSPLEASE in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Bob, I appreciate it, Susan