Depression

[Holly-]

I know I am one of many. I have avoided going to the doctors and just openly admitting my depression to them. I avoid telling anyone that it's anything more than i'm a bit down right now. But I am not ok ...I am struggling. Getting out of my bedroom at the moment is very hard. I am middle aged, intelligent, in a high paid professional job, a mum but I am fighting my depression every day. I have had some counselling - I have avoided medication. I don't believe I am worthy of anyone's time. I believe the world would be better off without me in it, I cry most days, have trouble sleeping, feel anxious a lot (last 3 days have been really bad).

Today (on holiday from work) I managed to get up and dressed - went for walk with my dog, came home and slept for 30 mins. Now in my bedroom and simply not bothered to do anything else only my son is back from school and I need to cook dinner for him.

I have a very demanding managerial job. I have to deal with a lot of negative criticism and workload is ridiculous (I work 60-70 hour weeks) Just had horrible incident with colleague I line-manage (who has made some mistakes and lost some important documents) I didn't attack her just said we needed to tighten up procedures etc, but she went for me and now threatening me with union.

Work do not know how much this and workload are impacting on me. But right now would like to stay here and not see or speak to anyone. I know this is not right or normal but I'm starting to lose sight of what I used to be like...was I ever really happy at any time?

[Natsteveo]

Dearest Holly-

May I say well done for opening up about your depression that's your first step and that's a huge step to take

You sound so overloaded with work and have alot of pressure you are dealing with I think you need this break from the stresses and strains because it's effecting you being who you are when your not at work. But first of all this is normal depression,please try not to beat yourself up anxiety and depression is very popular nowadays theres so many people suffering including ourselves even movie stars and the royal family suffer so your not alone my friend. But in reality everyone on this site knows your struggle and what your going through including me..

Depression isn't nice to live with it effects us as a person it takes us to a place we don't want to be in.

I get anxiety really bad and it consumes me I stay glued to my house especially my bedroom you won't always be in this bad place you will have your good and your bad days and when that happens we are always here for you to talk to

Hope this helps

Nat

[Bobby3]

Yes you are depressed and need to do something about it sorry you need to be there for your son and for your happiness change jobs which I know is not always possible and you may love you job when you’re filling ok.

I really think you need to go and see your Doctor and be open really tell how bad it is yes tables do help if it is chemical imbalances and try to get signed off so you have time for tables to work and you to get your head around it.

[Natsteveo in reply to Bobby3]

Well said Bobby very good advice given

Nat