Am i depressed or just feeling sorry for myself

[kat0202]

I have battled with what everyone says is depression/bipolar for years. going out several times on disability at work. Had some very good paying jobs and now have been out of work for almost 2 years. I am a single mother with a nice size mortgage. I've been collecting unemployment and using my 401k. My mood has gone up and down this last 2 years with the last 5 months really down. I am either really depressed or feeling sorry for myself which some people say. I am very scared since I don;t want to lose my house but the last job I had i basically had a nervous breakdown at because the lack of skills which has always been a problem. I have turned into a miserable person with the thought that I will be very poor soon and possible homeless. I am so miserable and depressed I don;t think right now I could hold onto any job. Am I having a depression episode or am I just feeling sorry for myself? Thanks in advance for any feedback!!!

[carol62]

Hello kat0202,

I am not a doctor so I can't really say with any certainty but I can sympathise with how you are feeling. I have suffered in the same way as you are describing so I know from experience it's not as simple as some would have you believe to "pull yourself together" or just "snap out of it" and if you are anything like me you probably have highs and lows within a single day although your mood may be predominately low, at least this is what I have been experiencing lately. You don't say whether you are currently receiving any medical advice or are on any medication but perhaps you need to see your doctor again regardless. You mention bipolar/depression and that people have said you may have this but has your doctor diagnosed this? Maybe it would be worth making an appointment and explaining how you feel and that this has gone on for so long?

Sorry I couldn't be more help but I just thought it might help you a little to know you are not alone in the way you feel.

Best regards,

Carol xx

[kat0202]

thanks Carol, I am on medication for bipolar but my mood is always down until the situation gets better than i feel like a new person and so happy not to be depressed. I really do not think I am bipolar. My unemployment is running out soon, can't find a job. Really have not been qualified for the last two where I was making really good money so who wouldn't be happy until I wasn't able to do the job. I do see an APRN at the town community center but its not really helpful. I am currently getting ect treatments which don;t seem to be working either? i dont think i ever felt so miserable and have thought about suicide lately but what that would do to my children would be devasting. I love them so much but I feel like such a failure. The fact that I am probably going to lose everything I;ve worked for and have no money makes me so depressed. I know material things shouldn;t matter but the fact I might end up homeless, I can;t imagine how depressed I would feel. I get couseling but that doesn;t help. I think other people in my situation handle it much better. Being depressed I have less motivation than most and cry alot. Thats why I think some of it is feeling sorry for myself and I dont know how to stop it. I really appreciate your feed back!

Kathy

[lonestar]

hi kat0202 sorry 2 haer u feel like this ,from my personal experiance its aconstant battle ,even when on medication ! i 2 feel like u and going through similar except i dont have a morgage ! been thrown out by my partner because she duznt understand me and have had 2 leave my 2 small children behind which kills me ! but plz belive ur not alone ,trouble is i feel there is no real hope out there just whats in ur heart ,sorry if this isnt very helpful we just have 2 try and help each other all i want is 2 b loved !! xxx

[kay1982blru]

I just want to make this clear - YOU ARE NOT FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! You have a recognised condition within the medical community, it just so happens that alot of people out there simply don't understand what this means and how it can affect people so profoundly. If your treatments don't seem to be working, and you seem to have been trying for quite a while, then I would speak to your GP and ask if there are any alternatives. There is something called Talking Changes in my area that specifically deals with trying to change our natural responses to certain negative triggers (if that makes sense), there is bound to be other options out there for you.

If you also have the added pressure of money problems with regards to your mortgage I would speak to someone seperately about this, I found Citizens Advice were very helpful or me. Some mortgage companys have their own ways of helping by offerring mortgage breaks or offerring lower repayments for a short amount of time - but you would have to speak to them directly about this. There is help out there, you need to try your best to ignore the negativity.

Hope this was helpful,

Kay xxx

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Hi

I'm sorry you are feeling low, i agree you are NOT feeling sorry for yourself.

I don't have time to read the blog in detail now but just wonder whether you have looked at the Action on Depression blogs as they are also helpful.

Suexx