I'd like to settle down but part of me says that whoever i go out with, she has a right to know what I've been through with depression and anxiety. it seems to back fire on me as I already feel that no one wants this on there hands, as all indian women want is a perfect picture and a perfect life. I could hide it away but i feel its deceit and if anything comes to surface then it will cause issues in married life. its got to a point where i don't want to settle down because it just makes me numb, attached to someone too soon and difficult to let go and as i know no woman wants this on their hands, as for them there's plenty fish in the sea (as mush as i really hate that phrase). i told one girl and she said nothing bad but after that call she went quiet on me for 3 days and eventually told me that my anxiety was not something she was comfortable with. its bought back a lot of my anxiety and before I started looking I was perfectly fine and happy. I spent best part of 15 years on my own as a loner and now it's not been a easy ride integrating into society, feel like I'm always 10 steps behind everyone. the progress I thought I made getting out of depression has not helped me deal with this anxiety.
how does one go on in life wishing to settle down but has this past hanging over their heads? I mean this is the indian community, they're not the brightest or helpful bunch on these matters, as I feel they stereotypical on these matters.