anxiety and mayb depression - advice please?

[wolfbaby]

hello, i have anxiety (and used to have panic attacks but not anymore).

was bullied in 6th form so led to low self-esteem and anxiety etc, but have always been an anxious person, a 'worrier'. anxiety became clinical in 2nd year of uni during exams and just stuck ever since.

i graduated this year and then my long-term boyfriend broke up with me whilst i was volunteering in nepal this summer. i had little contact with family which was shit, but i was happy and felt very strong.

came home, been doing temp work to save up for more travelling (thailand in feb for 2 months woo)

but anyway, started to feel very anxious the past month and now just feel a bit lonely and depressed. like i dont know what the point of life is and i am alone. i remember feeling this way a bit last year around the same time in december (maybe it's seasonal???) but it was mainly because i couldn't cope with my anxiety.

now i feel depressed just because what is the point. i dont even know why i feel this way, life just seems to be shit and i am ultimately alone in the world. i'm tired ALL the time, i sleep so much when i'm not working (11 hours a night) and i have no energy to do stuff in the day. ive always been irritable but theres that as well.

ive had therapy before so i know the things i need to do and i do do them - i see my friends, exercise regularly, eat well, keep a wellbeing journal etc etc.

but i still feel low. been considering medication for years now but each time i nearly go on them i have a good day and think 'oh it will all be ok' but constantly go back to feeling bad again.

what shall i do? any advice? anyone got any reviews they could share about how effective meds are for anxiety (and depression)?

thanks so much,

wolfbaby x

[blazlily]

oversleeping can just make you more sleepy so set an alarm and have a plan for what you are going to do when you get up. also I don't think meds are the way to go because they just mask the issue. hope this helps.

[wolfbaby in reply to blazlily]

Thanks so much for your reply, might try and not sleep in at the weekends to see if that helps. Meds have such mixed reviews so i'm unsure whether to just try and see or leave it and stay where i am

[Hidden]

Many things I could say -ok might as well go through all you say:

- a feeling of vulnerability, can understand that and I've been there. We are weak spirits , easily influenced by the negative. What I'd say here is to allow your endurance and resilience to grow which it does when we are struggling with life. Endurance means doing stuff you know you should do but don't want to do eg tidying up, doing the washing, cooking tea, doing the shopping - ie the basic nuts and bolts of a basic existence. This isn't easy, it depends how much under the cosh you are - may I suggest an hour of chores then an hour rest. Set yourself some targets, use the clock if necessary and stick to those.

- the pointlessness of life. These aren't really your thoughts I don't think, they have just crept in and you agree with them, there is great power in agreement. Against these you need to adopt a more humble mindset - try and find contentment with much less and work towards lowering your expectations, many people actually have very little. When you are at that point you fill find there is a gap between the thoughts that come to you and what you are content with and working at humility will make you a lot more content inside.

- medication is definitely a big plus, I think 50% of the depression problem can be solved by medication. The first time I was struck by depression, which was the worst I would say by a long way, I went 6 months before I took anything, then had to have 6 weeks off work. You can easily take a low dose and it does have a great effect but takes about a month to start working - I've been on it 12 years.

- tiredness is hard to fight, but we all fight it, life can be very tedious a lot of the time but please just accept that is true. I don't think night time sleep matters too much but during the day, don't sleep more than an hour at a time - set your alarm to make sure you wake up, then force yourself to GET UP, again decide what you are going to do before you take your rest then stick to it.

Lastly, just one day at a time... that's all you have to do !

good luck,

Rich

[wolfbaby in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your kindness and empathy rich, really appreciate it. Just reading your reply has made me feel a bit better and less alone.

I think you're right that I should try and be happy with the simpler things in life. I also think medication is something i may as well try now because this has been on and off for a few years now so what do i have to lose.. just a bit scared because my 2 of my close friends are on SSRI's for anxiety but have had the most awful side effects, so much so that one of them had to come off. Did you experience any of these?

Thanks so much again

[Hidden in reply to wolfbaby]

I take 10mg citalopram and haven't noticed any side effects for 12 years - wouldn't like to come off them though, tried that for a while but didn't work out and had to go back on them - psychologically I believe they do me good, so they do if you see what I mean.