Mortified

[Inaquandary]

Had a blood test today to check for genital herpes, I’m 53, been through menopause, been with my lovely bloke for 9 months. This sore patch appeared, plus cystitis type symptoms- urine test was clear. Can this just appear out of the blue? Have I got to tell previous partners? I’m mortified!

[wobblybee Administrator Pioneer]

😕 If you test positive it’s likely you will be given advice about notifying previous partners. But this can happen to anybody, and it’s obviously distressing. The important thing is knowing how to deal with it.

If you have genital herpes, your previous sexual partners should get tested. The doctor or nurse at the clinic can discuss this with you and help you tell your partners without letting them know it's you who has the virus.

nhs.uk › conditions › g...

Treatment the first time you have genital herpes

You may be prescribed:

antiviral medicine to stop the symptoms getting worse – you need to start taking this within 5 days of the symptoms appearing

cream for the pain

If you have had symptoms for more than 5 days before you go to a sexual health clinic, you can still get tested to find out the cause.

Treatment if the blisters come back

Go to a GP or sexual health clinic if you have been diagnosed with genital herpes and need treatment for an outbreak.

Antiviral medicine may help shorten an outbreak by 1 or 2 days if you start taking it as soon as symptoms appear.

But outbreaks usually settle by themselves, so you may not need treatment.

Recurrent outbreaks are usually milder than the first episode of genital herpes.

Over time, outbreaks tend to happen less often and be less severe. Some people never have outbreaks.

Some people who have more than 6 outbreaks in a year may benefit from taking antiviral medicine for 6 to 12 months.

If you still have outbreaks of genital herpes during this time, you may be referred to a specialist.

How to deal with outbreaks yourself

If you have been diagnosed with genital herpes and you're having an outbreak:

Do

keep the area clean using plain or salt water to prevent blisters becoming infected

apply an ice pack wrapped in a flannel to soothe pain

apply petroleum jelly (such as Vaseline) or painkilling cream (such as 5% lidocaine) to reduce pain when you pee

wash your hands before and after applying cream or jelly

pee while pouring water over your genitals to ease the pain

Don't

do not wear tight clothing that may irritate blisters or sores

do not put ice directly on the skin

do not touch your blisters or sores unless you're applying cream

do not have vaginal, anal or oral sex until the sores have gone away

How genital herpes is passed on

Genital herpes is very easy to pass on (contagious) from the first tingling or itching of a new outbreak (before any blisters appear) to when sores have fully healed.

You can get genital herpes:

from skin-to-skin contact with the infected area (including vaginal, anal and oral sex)

when there are no visible sores or blisters

if a cold sore touches your genitals

by transferring the infection on fingers from someone else to your genitals

by sharing sex toys with someone who has herpes

You cannot get genital herpes:

from objects such as towels, cutlery or cups – the virus dies very quickly when away from your skin

Protecting against genital herpes

You can reduce the chances of passing herpes on by:

using a condom every time you have vaginal, anal or oral sex – but herpes can still be passed on if the condom does not cover the infected area

avoiding vaginal, anal or oral sex if you or your partner has blisters or sores, or a tingle or itch that means an outbreak is coming

not sharing sex toys – if you do, wash them and put a condom on them

Why genital herpes comes back

Genital herpes is caused by a virus called herpes simplex. Once you have the virus, it stays in your body.

It will not spread in your body to cause blisters elsewhere. It stays in a nearby nerve and causes blisters in the same area.

If you can, avoid things that trigger your symptoms.

Triggers can include:

ultraviolet light – for example, from sunbeds

friction in your genital area – for example, from sex (lubricant may help) or tight clothing

Some triggers are unavoidable, including:

being unwell

having a period

surgery on your genital area

a weakened immune system – for example, from having chemotherapy for cancer

[Mel734]

Dont be mortified, who doesnt have sex and how many of us haven't had unprotected sex in their lifetime? You've had some amazing advice above, take it and move on, life is too short 🙂

[Inaquandary]

Went to a sexual health clinic who advised me it’s not an STI- taken bloods and swabs but so far it’s a mystery! I feel a bit better - so no idea what it is!