At some of my darkest moments right now...

[TWolfe]

Im 51 yrs old and had a full, 100 mph life going when I was struck down with Graves disease so bad they immediately took both my thyroid and para thyroid (2009). Since then Ive gotten levels we can not seem to get to a safe level, Addison's disease and keep going into adrenal failure, Severe Vitamin deficiencies which has caused, Osteoporosis/Brittle bones, A damaged heart valve, I cant walk, drive, play with my grand children or even get to any of there school things. My life now consist of a 8x10 room 24-7 unless Im in hospital room not much different to me. Ive begged for better care of my T3 with no avail, Ive begged for rehab to help get me walking which has been a three yr fight that i lost with insurance. Insurance has also stopped my trigger point therapies which were helping me with pain and mobility. Ive fought a long hard battle these past 5/6 yrs and have tried everything possible including Native American herbs, which r awesome and help some, but hard to get and afford. Ive tried all kinds of holistic therapies which I can no longer afford, but r very affective.. I try my best with meditation, yoga, tai-chi, Qi-gong to help my balance and strength, but Im so weak and its so painful this will be an extremely long time before this will get me where I need to be. Im on a superfood diet and extremely high doses of Vitamins and still cant get these levels up, I dont think Im absorbing them, so i begged for IV Vitamin Therapy and was told unless my kidneys fail I cant get it unless I drive 100s of miles a week to a holistic center that does it for a high fee.

Anyways this has taken me to a really dark place, where Im ready to give in and just face it that Ill be in this bed/room till I die my old life is gone for good. I really dont know where to take this. My body and mind wants to just lay here and wait to die, but my heart keeps getting obsessed that I can find some way of healing and getting some life back. How I really dont know. Im just afraid if I dont find it soon Im will give up and will myself to death. I mean why stay and suffer, make others suffer taking care of me. I cant even do the things I enjoy and that gives me life, like my advocate and activist work, being in nature camping and hiking, can sew or craft stuff anymore. I feel like a wasted piece of flesh just hanging on...My heart goes out to all who suffer in silence and out loud. I Pray for us all...II know my thoughts above may be scatter brained and all over the place I all I can say is Im sorry, but Im just that all over the place...Thanks for taking a moment to listen and if anyone has any advice or Idea I havent tried yet please, please let me know...Blessings

[Muminspire1]

Hi there,

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. It is difficult to imagine what you have been through and continue to go through. All I can say is don't give up, every single day that we are alive is a blessing and has to be treasured and appreciated. I know that pain and suffering can make people not see this. It sounds like you have tried everything out there. If you believe in any faith, that can also help. I know that at times people say that if there is a God then why are things this bad, there is no clear explanation but there is always an answer. I wish you all the best and hope that there is people out there with similar experiences to share them with you.

[TWolfe in reply to Muminspire1]

Thank u so much for the support and encouragement. I am a very spiritual person (Kind of a spiritual Hippie) that was raised Baptist, but now just has a relationship with God and God is the ONLY thing keeping me alive and sane. I just cant believe that Insurance over rules docs and needs or get holistic treatments that work covered. To many hands in my care where no one is talking to each other and wont talk to me. Really its true Insanity and most days it feels like Im in the Twilight Zone. Sometimes i feel so overwhelmed with it all That I feel stuck or trapped and cant think of a next step. So I search. Thank u again and many Blessings

[rachme]

Hi, sorry to hear you're feeling so low. Have you heard of the book Stop The Thyroid Madness? I really think that some natural thyroid treatment would help.....

[TWolfe in reply to rachme]

Thank u so much...I have seen a few people talking about it. Ill def ck it out ASAP...Thanx again...Many Blessings

[JanW]

Hi also very sorry to hear what you're going through. I've also got Graves had it for 18 years. Being autoimmune is very difficult it's like an invisible disease nobody can see it so they don't have a clue how ill it can make you feel or how hopeless sometimes. Iv'e lost most of my top teeth from the constant auto immune attacks, headaches, lost a lot of hair and get dizziness, but the worst is the fatigue which you will know all about. The times I went back and forth to my doctor for years expecting help I didn't get. I'm 62 in a few days and have long realised this is a battle you have to deal with mostly alone though my hubby has been great through it all.

I can only encourage you to be strong and a belief in God will certainly help that.

Good luck and all the best to you.