Beyond unhappy and can't seem to fix it

[Rebecca141]

I keep setting days to start healthy eating and exercise more but the truth is I joined the gym back in December go 5 times a week for an hour and started going vibro 3/4 weeks ago but I just can't curb my comfort eating. I've actually gained 6lbs! I'm literally at my wits end as I'm so unhappy, and I'm taking it out on everyone around me. I currently have a partner but who knows how long that will last as I take it all out on him and barely let him touch me. I know there is no quick fix to all this but I really just don't know how to get past this wall that I myself seem to keep building!

[ratbag24]

Hi Rebecca, maybe you are over doing it and you just need to enjoy your weight loss journey, easier said than done ha. Like you i exercise, running 3 times a week and used the vibro plates for the first time last night. I also go to weightwatchers and never ever miss a class, it is weightwatchers that keeps me on track as if somebody wasn't weighing me every week, i know i would also continue to comfort eat. Have you got a goal in mind, an event or a dress you want to wear to motivate you. It took me a long time to realise that it took me a long time to put all of this weight on, so it's going to take me a long time to get it off. Therefore i figure if i only lose 1/2 a pound a week, i am still getting lighter every week. Stop pushing yourself so hard and be kind to yourself.

take care jenny

[Run4Help]

Hi Rebecca, I think that you are aiming your goals to high to start with. If I was you I would be going to the gym every other day as your body needs time to rest from the exercise you have done. Regarding the comfort eating I just got rid of all the junk food and now when my wife does our weekly shopping it is all mostly fat free. Try an aim your goals smaller to start with then gradually increase them as you get back on track. You can do it.

[jaceyar]

Hi Beccy - wow 5 times a week at the gym - no wonder you're struggling! hree times per week is ample. When you shop, don't buy fatty rubbish - if it's not in the house you can't eat it. Personally I always have a tupperware in the fridge with healthy nibbles. Also those horrible Ryvita crackers may taste a bit cardboardy but with some cottage cheese or cherry tomatoes on - they have a nice satisfying crunch. My own nibbly moments are when I'm not concentrating on anything so I try to keep busy.

You can do this - go girl!

[Hidden]

Hi Rebecca 141,

Look, it's about losing weight long term. That means re-training your eating and exercise habits. It's a reasonably long journey before those new habits become your actual lifestyle, so don't go charging off trying to do it all in ten minutes - you're looking at a 3 month plan here and that might, dependent upon your situation, be only the start of it.

A big part of exercise is the rest - the time you give you body to adjust to the new demands being made of it - as any weightlifter will tell you.

Do some of that exercise, but I'd suggest you ease back on it overall. If you're putting yourself under stress with it all .... guess what happens? Your body's reaction to stress is to go into fat storage mode, not fat burn mode!

So, you need to take a more 'softly. softly, catchee monkee' approach with it all. (My spell-checker really didn't like that phrase!)

Put yourself under less stress and you won't feel you need to comfort eat so much. Also, you can't comfort eat if the cakes, biscuits, chocolate bars just aren't there. Try to wean yourself off of those unhelpful snacks and towards better ones.

Only a couple of months ago, I'd have been given a bowl of raspberries and wanted to smother them in double cream (and probably sprinkled sugar on top, too). Now I'd put some zero-fat yoghurt on them and perhaps grate a tiny amount of dark chocolate on them and sometimes grate some nutmeg on them as well. Delicious!

You see, your tastes will change. As you teach your body and mind that sweet and fatty and creamy is NOT the 'norm' - it will adjust / re-habilitate to the new way and, in time, the new norm will be your lifestyle.

At the beginning of this year, I would have thought nothing of tucking into double sausage in batter and chips from the chippy. Now, just the thought is making me fell a bit queasy.

When you're losing weight: work smart, don't make hard work out of it. It's weight loss, not some medieval, monastic, penitential rite aimed at saving your soul from the perils of eternal hell.

Oh, and finally, get hold of your partner and let him touch you. You need that comfort to aid your journey.

Good luck.

[bunblebeaz]

Hi Rebecca,

I know where you are right now!

At the end of last summer I joined the local gym, with the aims of losing weight and getting fitter. I really had had enough of not fitting into my clothes and looking like a blob!

And at the beginning I changed my diet and added in more veg and tried not eating crap.

I'd realised that I'd become waaay to sedentary and when I was thinner I ate what I wanted but moved about all over the place all the time. So, the gym should have made me thinner right?

No!

In between then and starting the NHS plan at the end of January, I put on around half a stone.

I would suggest that like me you need to overhaul your diet. Really look at it. As well as comfort eating, look at what your meals are made up of, portion size, sugar in drinks etc.

As people above have said, if you do not buy the junk food, then you cannot eat it.

Plan your meals for a week and go shopping with a list and stick to it.

At the gym - what are you actually doing there? I don't mean to sound patronising but I used to hear people around me moan they were fat even though they went to the gym for hours on end, and found out they were just walking, slowly, on a treadmill and then leaving and eating crap food! Now I'm at the gym I can see those people!

Maybe lower the time you spend there and up the intensity. Even though you are heavier you should be fitter than when you started and can handle more.

Get on the machines and have a look through the programmes they offer.

Run/cycle an interval programme, and use the 'weight loss' programmes as well.

On the cross trainer my boyfriend has found that bending your knees ups the intensity.

The most important thing - your partner WANTS to be with you. He's still there, even though your offloading all kinds on to him and there's no physical interaction between you.

You need to talk to him about how you are feeling and get him to help you with your weight loss. You do need his support. He will support you. Don't push him away because although you feel he may not be there for long he probably isn't thinking like that. Grab a hold instead!

Are you following the NHS plan? If not download it from here:

nhs.uk/Livewell/weight-loss...

Start on Monday. Count your calories. If you are over, analyse and try to cut out something for the next day. If you get the target great! Simply repeat!

Good luck

[suzybenj]

Hi - I read your comments with a lot of self recognition. this time last year I was overweight but a stone lighter. I have dieted on and off all year particularly since xmas and am heavier than ever before. My equivalent of your comfort eating is blow out weekends. But the truth is I was miserable, lacked confidence and feared the worst in failing myself.

So I have taken a complete re- stock this last week and re-evaluated everything. So fitness wise gone for strength training. Diet overall - really looked into it - measured my portions, cut out alcohol( which i really enjoy). I have also got myself into a very focussed state of mind - what i am doing is a 'present' to myself, my health and self esteem. I religiously record all that i eat and drink - so I can't kid myself. (I use my fitness pal = as you can record calorie intake, weights measurements ect) I try to eat as healthily and well as i can and work within the 1400 calories. i was running at 1600 in the week and 2500 plus at weekends. so no wonder nothing was happening. but imagine my feelings when after three days this week I had put on two pounds. But I have kept in the saddle and focussed. Early days yet not much to report really. Monday weigh in will tell all.

Maybe you have to work down on your comfort eating or find a less calorific replacement. But most of all i say be kind to yourself - this is a tough process of looking at yourself and what you want and what you want to be. I know I need support and am heavily relying on this site to keep me in the game.xx

[dush3003]

Hi Rebecca

Did you know muscle weighs heavier that fat, fact! I know how you feel, I have been feeling the same since before xmas. I think the winter weather hasn't helped and you can't diet during Jan due to all the goodies after xmas. I have been really down in the dumps.

Like the some of the others have said try cutting down the length of time you spend at gym but up the intensity. Also take your measurements and use that as a guide, because they often change more so than focusing on the weight.

Try and focus on yourself and ask yourself, how much you really want to do this?

It's all about choice power!

Good luck.

[2Bhappy]

Hi Rebecca

I really do understand you, because I was trying to stop comfort eating for over a year. And every day, after work I used to eat large lunch/dinner (after-work meal around 7 pm) as a response to harsh day or general dissatisfaction how my life turn out to be.

So, I’d recommend you to prepare/cook your food a day before and stick to the plan tomorrow (no matter what). That has helped me.

To be honest, losing weight did not solve all my issues, however I do feel better. It has made my life a bit easier, and it is a trade-off (helath&wellbeing vs. food&comfort) that I’d choose every day.