Pure misery, trying to avoid emotional eating/binge eating

[Ineedtochange]

I posted on a thread a while ago and got some very helpful comments and messages. I'm two weeks on. I am doing better eating wise : I'm making better choices and taking things one hour at a time.

The problem I am having is being so desperately unhappy with my weight, especially the fat around my middle. I liken my middle section to Jabba the hut meets Peter Griffin. It's horrific, just massive folds of blubber. My mindle tyre sticks out twice as far as my upper lady parts and my lower tyre. It's incredibly obviously and embarrassing. I struggle to bend down and pick things up off the floor because my belly fat gets in the way.

Right now all I can focus on is how unsightly and uncomfortable that section is. I'm walking along the street, in hot weather, weeping with the knowledge that IF I can keep myself eating better that its going to take months/years to see any real difference in the area.

I'm so unhappy now and I see little hope, the urge to eat my feelings is strong, yet that is the LAST thing I should be doing. If I succumb, all I'll do is wake up tomorrow and the cycle will continue.

I want to stop feeling like this.

[springersrule Moderator 76kg]

Sorry to hear you are struggling like this Ineedtochange but know exactly what you mean as i have been there both in size and mood.

I started my journey in September 2020 at 153kg and couldnt imagine that i would shrink in both size and weight, certainly not by the amount i needed to, to get within the healthy BMI range for my height and age. I have done it though, and the majority of it was done in the first year. I know that sounds like a long time but it isnt really, time flies by so fast these days that it feels like no time at all. When i started my journey i had a fractured femur (knee end) and struggled to get seen my anyone for the first 3 months, it eventually resulted in a half knee replacement the following June. During this time i walked my dogs using a rollator and got around with a pair of crutches otherwise. I also found a few youtube work outs, mainly seated ones and did them to the best of my ability. My favourites are Dr Rangan Chatterjee's 5 minutes kitchen workout, walking workouts by Next2yes and seated yoga with Yoga Vista Chair Yoga Dance. I had to adapt bits or miss some bits out but i did do at least 80% of each of them. The kitchen workout i did every day, the others i did one of them each day. I also bought a mini exercise bike (think pedals on a frame and you sit on a dining chair to use it). Putting all those things together has improved my muscle tone and shrunk my arms and belly. I still have lumps and bumps but they are so much smaller now and dont stop me from bending over to pick things up and i feel comfortable in a pair of shorts and vest top type tops too. Throughout all of this my mood has drastically improved to the point where i don't need the anti-depressant/anti anxiety medication any more.

If you can hang in there and do little bits of exercise each day you will not only see weight loss but your body will change shape too. You don't need to do hours and hours of exercise or go to the gym several times a week either. Little changes now will lead to bigger changes as you shrink and feel better in yourself and about yourself.

Keep going, don't give in to those urges and you will get there. A big part of my journey and sticking to my plan was done with the support of the members here on the Weigh In and Daily Diary. Taking the time to post on them, chat, ask for advice and support and even give advice and support has brought me to where i am today, 80kg lighter and down from mens XXXL to a womans size 16.

You can do it too, you are stronger than you think

Good luck xx

[Ineedtochange 1st 7lbs in reply to springersrule]

Thank you for giving me some hope xx

[springersrule Moderator 76kg in reply to Ineedtochange]

You're very welcome xx

[Bee-bop Maintainer 2st 7lbs]

Hi there,

No idea if this helps or not but, I had visceral fat in this area too. I lost 14 inches in this area in less than a year as far as I remember. I didn't have scales during lockdown so just used a tape measure. Try to refocus your thoughts on what you are achieving as that will spur you on. There are so many people on here who have struggled with weight and self image because of that so believe me when I say you are not alone here.

[Ineedtochange 1st 7lbs in reply to Bee-bop]

Thank you. Well done for those 14 inches. I'm trying to stay off the scales for now because whatever the result it badly effects my mindset. I either lose and want to reward/treat myself, I STS and berate myself or I gain and think "sod it". Any result leads to an uncomfortable emotional reaction where I want to eat to access. I'm keeping off them for now and trying to use my body as an indicator of success.

[Bee-bop Maintainer 2st 7lbs in reply to Ineedtochange]

Thank you. It had to be done for my health. I still don't have scales in the house because one of my children would be obsessed with them for sure. One of my other children is losing weight at the moment and we are managing that gradually but, they are noticing it in the clothes they wear and feeling a little more able to do things.

Keep going ! You can do this! 👍

[ThyroidDeb Visitor]

I have close to the same problem here in USA. I lost 75 pounds pretty quickly in finding I had non-alcoholic fatty liver and freaked out. I was 70 years old, those two facts, age and weight loss, didn't work in my favor. I have excess flabby skin on arms, hanging wrinkly loose skin on thighs and face, my rear end is flat and hanging. My belly and abdominal area has loose dimpled skin even though, in those areas, the fat is still there. It seems to be the last area to break down. So when I bend it all squishes together making it harder to bend. I don't see where I can do much other than lipo which I can't afford, that can help my body. Bike riding was my exercise of choice to help lose but doesn't do much for tightening skin. Unfortunately, I just think because of my lack of skin elasticity, I will have to live with it. I dress to cover those areas of my body but my liver fat has reduced greatly, so which is more important?? Good luck, hopefully over time you will have greater results.

[Ineedtochange 1st 7lbs in reply to ThyroidDeb]

I have the same thing (fatty liver). Well done on reducing that, amazing work.

[Lynne64]

I hear you. What I have discovered in my last couple of years of trying to win the fight against over eating, is just how much hard work it is! I hate all those bloody diet programme adverts, where everyone looks like they are having such a great time on their diet! Lies! Lies and more lies. It is really really difficult. And if like me, you've been struggling with food for 10 years plus, it's even harder. So, back to trying to be helpful...all I can say is that you need to accept just how hard the challenge is, take it a few hours at a time. If you can, try (again really challenging) not to critize your belly/shape. You know that this type of critical/negative thinking is what underpins emotional eating. So, give yourself a wee talking to each time you critize that belly. All the best to you sweetheart

[Ineedtochange 1st 7lbs in reply to Lynne64]

Oh those lies. I understand exactly what you mean. Thank you.

[j9_bee_playin Visitor]

You are worthy of love just as you are.

The wobbly bits can, however, be so disheartening can't they? I started 2023 with the decision that I was done with the gradual year-over-year weight gain that gave me my wobbly bits. My focus went to being aware of what I was eating and trying to make sure I was giving my body lots of what it needed. I avoided hunger by pro-actively eating lots of fiber-rich fruits and veg, and reduced (not removed) the amount of junky foods I put in.

Focusing on living your life and being healthier instead of skinnier; the weight loss will come. This year I've eaten healthy regular meals and snacks with LOTS of fruit and veg. I've limited the amount of junk/treats per day to less than 300-400kcal. I don't exercise much but I have tried to increase the amount of activity I do (walk to shops instead of drive, take the stairs instead of lift). I've lost 40 lbs (18kg) this year and most importantly feel great instead of like garbage.

This next bit may sound like an impossible task but try to appreciate the body you've got. It moves, lifts, carries, and stretches. It fights off infections, digests food, and remembers loved one's birthdays. It might have some fatty tissues in places you're not keen on, but it's doing so much right everyday!

Also, I know you'd love to rush weight loss and get all the fat off in a hurry, but I've now got loose-ish skin on my belly and thighs and I wish I'd lost my weight a little bit slower. Try to give your body time to adjust to a more gradual change in size.

Good luck in all that you do.