Beached Whale

[Rich61]

I was having a rest on sofa and my wife compared me to a beached whale ( I am very overweight ) . I was very upset . I explained to her I thought it was , yet another , an example of fat shaming . She says it is not . Any views to help me ?

[Gizmocat Moderator 13kg Maintainer]

Hello and welcome back. I hope you can remenber your way around the forum, In case you don't all the information you need can be found herehealthunlocked.com/weight-l....

Do have a good look around and read the links and join in as much as possible to get lots of support.

Fat shaming is not acceptable but I wonder if you have talked to her about why she makes these comments. Perhaps she is concerned about you and your health. Could you enlist her support with helping you lose weight?

Maybe ask her to help plan meals and post them on the Daily Diary. Do some exericse together such as going for a walk and join the FIt is Fun Club. Post your start weight on the Weigh in and keep coming back and tell us how you are doing.

Good luck

[Rich61 in reply to Gizmocat]

many thanks , I will

[Hectorsmum2 Visitor]

How unkind!. I am also very over weight but have lost 34 pounds with overeaters anonymous so far and finding it to be a lovely fellowship of people with loads of support and meetings.

[Rich61]

well done , will try !

[Rich61]

many thanks useful

[Bluelady-sing Healthy BMI]

That's horrid, I currently weight 69.7 kgs

I don't know how I feel people have weight gain for many reasons

[BerlinBetty Visitor in reply to Bluelady-sing]

Wow, I weigh A LOT more than that, Bluelady. It's all relative, of course, but please consider yourself an Elegant Sylph of Great Style and Beauty compared to Betty. 😜

[gman1961 Restart April 2024]

Not helpful at all ,how many times on here do we read about other people's negative and hurtful comments .

You are not alone,as always many will relate to your post.

Take care Rich61,

Gary

[Rich61 in reply to gman1961]

thanks Gary

[Yingal33 Visitor]

I'm sorry but I'd probably say "I may be fat but you're ugly". The urge to be snippy is just too much when people are unkind. Sorry, not very constructive but I've been there myself with people who are supposed to love me. I have other replies you could use but I'm sure I'd get booted off here if I repeated any of them!

[springersrule Moderator 76kg in reply to Yingal33]

Good morning Yingal33 and welcome to our forum. Thank you for popping in and supporting one of our members, i have to bite my tongue not to give cutting remarks to those who thinks is ok to belittle me or others. I have given you a visitor badge for now but if you are on a weight loss journey yourself I will happily give you a full welcome and point you in the right direction to help you get involved in our forum life. xx

[Edge1234 Visitor]

Hi,

Is your wife’s unkind comment supposed to be helpful to your weight loss journey? It sounds to me, given how you felt about it, that it was unlikely helpful to you, assuming she knows you she must have realised this - so really what was the point?

If I were in your shoes Rich61 I would tell her that you were upset by what she said and it is unlikely to help you make progress with your diet because you were made unhappy by her comment, so what was the purpose of her saying what she did.

I would also ask that she does not make such comments again. If she has anything to say about your weight ask her to always make them positive, supportive and kind things - otherwise saying nothing is fine too!

Put the comment out of your mind now, move on to make the positive changes you might want to make to your health and wellbeing and hopefully your wife will only have kind things to say from this point on.

Good luck x

[Rich61 in reply to Edge1234]

many thanks v useful

[Rich61]

nice one !

[springersrule Moderator 76kg in reply to Rich61]

tagging Yingal33 xx

[BerlinBetty Visitor]

Well, Darling, most of us on this site are beached something, so it may not be the nicest thing you've ever been told, but does it ring a doleful bell?

I used to be a slim young thing and now I'm not and that's a fact. To put it crudely, I have to get up off my ass and exercise, and I have to eat fewer of the things I love or never mind a sleek beached whale, it's an Old Walrus on a Bad Day I see in the mirror

We're all in this together. Let's just laugh, get off the sofa sometimes, and move that flesh.

Now of course, I'm sitting down to write this to you: shift yourself Betty!

Give her a hug and then do what YOU want to do about it.

Happy Sunday.

Betty x

[Rich61]

thanks Betty

[springersrule Moderator 76kg in reply to Rich61]

tagging BerlinBetty

[barrettkeller Visitor]

I have had similar comments in the past and have been hurt by them. It helped that I was able to explain my feelings to my partner. I described how it upset me and emphasised that I was aware of my well problem and that I would appreciate help in coping with losing weight, rather than being 'shamed'. It seemed to come as a surprise but things have been much better since. Hope this helps and good luck.

[Rich61 in reply to barrettkeller]

many thanks

[TheTabbyCat Administrator 16kg in reply to barrettkeller]

Hi barrettkeller welcome to our weight loss forum. Thank you for your support. Are you on your own weight loss journey or just visiting, either way is fine by us.

[krazeeartist]

Rich,with all due respect Sir, your wife is just looking out for you. At 64 years old, you should know to take better care of yourself: get up and move around. Please remember that she is only doing this not to nag, but because she loves you.

[moreless Administrator 7 stone in reply to krazeeartist]

Welcome back, krazeeartist

Thanks for your supportive reply.

If you're still on a weight loss journey and as a reminder, all of the information you need about the forum can be found in Pinned Posts healthunlocked.com/weight-l....

Wishing you all the best

[miopus]

I would ask your wife for her support with losing weight. Who cooks the meals in your house ? If she has anything to do with the meal choices she needs to help you not call you unpleasant names.

[moreless Administrator 7 stone in reply to miopus]

Welcome back, miopus

If you're still on a weight loss journey yourself, and by way as a reminder, all of the information you need about the forum is in pinned posts healthunlocked.com/weight-l...

Looking forward to seeing you around

[Rich61]

agreed thankyou

[moreless Administrator 7 stone in reply to Rich61]

To be sure that the correct person is notified, Rich61, you need to click on the blue reply button. Tagging miopus

[focused1 Maintainer 13kg]

I feel the people closest have the most impact . I recently had Gall bladder surgery so no exercise has piled on weight . I know to me I look awful but actually being told that hurts . My subtle birthday present was a plastic exercise step . Knock on the door - fantastic bunch of flowers, second knock - Amazon with a crazy big box with this step in it - so off I go - onto You Tube and gosh this is crazy hard but I am not seeing this as the awful depressing insult that crossed my mind . I am targeting this for 8 weeks although I was taken out for 3 meals this week so mixed feelings.