Whilst out yesterday a neighbour commented " looks like you've put loads of timber on " and then grabbed my stomach.I was fuming and decided to go for a run afterwards ,managed just short of ten k .
Only one way to deal with that - Action.
Gary
Negative comment : Whilst out yesterday... - Weight Loss Support
Negative comment
gman1961HostRestart April 2024
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gman1961
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66 Replies
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focused1Maintainer13kg
He has the problem not you . I would call this weird and rare. Anyhow you are doing this for you . If it gave you any motivation then I suppose you turn it into a plus but I doubt whether you needed or wanted this . Recovering now from my op and returned to work this week I have the return of the barrel belly as I didn't eat much differently - in fact for the first 2 out of almost 7 weeks maybe less but the lying about without exercise and the gall bladder surgery has annoyingly piled the pounds on . I have had a few digs too but by some people who aren't that slim .
No the person who said that to me was not exactly petite and slim themselves .Other people are quick to comment but not to praise .
You take care of yourself focused1 ,do you have to change your lifestyle much now ?
Gary
I am a stubborn determined person . I do what I want to do so I got a reminder for my car tax last week , nearly £300 and being partly self employed I thought this is time I got off the sofa and back to my manual work so I started yesterday . I was enjoying reading millions of books and doing surveys for Amazon vouchers which for the effort I put in was very little and hardly any exercise about 3000 steps on a crawl round 5 streets so I am just eating mindfully but not going mad . Can't do any Zumba yet as too physical but amazed that apart from feeling a bit shattered last night I was OK . Back though are the sleep problems . I shouldn't be anxious about work as it is so easy but weirdly - I don't know . Could it be that I have to be up at a set time ? It more annoys me as I can get through the day , no worries but this starting again .....well by next week my Zumba will return as 6kg has crept on from my 18kg loss . Still sort of look OK but it is winter . Those black clothes won't be so comfortable in a few months .
How dare he? He would surely never do that to a woman, so why does he think he can do it to another man? So sorry you were rudely assaulted in that way gman1961
IwilldothisthisyearRestart March 2024Restart Oct 2024Restart Feb 2024
what a nasty comment Gary 😡
Didn't need it but sums people up ,Thanks Henderslh,
Gary
Sorry to hear you went through this gman1961, problem is once out there words can never be taken back and never forgotten.
I remember it was a good few years back now that my old father met me after me living abroad for sometime and said “wow your legs look like tree trunks” yep just right out with it. I put it down to my tight legged jeans at the time. Then I thought how come when people get old they think it’s okay just to speak their mind and get away with it not caring who they hurt in the process and boy did that hurt.
Years on Im much trimmer, fitter and now get compliments from him so maybe he was telling the truth after all maybe I needed someone to say this and hear this.
Looking back I thank him for it, and skinny jeans……. can’t bare the look of them now what was I thinking.
DeeDee
I won't be thanking this person I'm afraid .They are not my favourite person anyway ,I will triumph .
Thank you for your reply.
Well done for being trimmer and fitter .
Gary
Alideer1 stone
Honestly some people…I wouldn’t dream of doing that to anyone and I’m sure you wouldn’t either Gary. She’s the one with the problem! 🌼
Familytree674 stone
Hi Gary that is just awful . She’s definitely the one with the problem obviously opens her mouth without engaging her brain! Sue
Definitely,thanks Sue ,Gary
purple_ums_2Restart Sept 2024Restart July 2024
Wtf! Are you close to this neighbour? Well done for using that anger productively. I don’t get people really. X
Thankfully not ,can't stand them .At least I don't see them that often.
Thanks purple_ums_2
Gary
I'm so glad you are able to take inspiration from it rather than it make you bitter. Annoyed though, yes.
Now's the time to plan some standard "come back" phrases for rude or intrusive comments on your looks, clothes, hair, weight, career, house, whatever.
"Wow. I didn't know you were THAT sort of person." Then just walk away. If you can sniff haughtily or throw in an eye roll, even better. LOL
More phrases:
"What you said was... (pick one)
* inconsiderate
* tactless
* rude
* none of your business.
I thought you were better than that. I guess I was mistaken."
Don't forget the walking away in disgust. LOL
Hi and welcome, NeatMind-MessyLife 
Thanks for your supportive reply.
If you're on a weight loss journey yourself, all of the information you need about the forum can be found in Pinned Posts healthunlocked.com/weight-l... and we hope you'll be joining all the Events, Challenges and Clubs that we run.
Wishing you all the best
Thanks NeatMind-MessyLife,I wasn't quite quick enough with a reply .
I will remember the above words ,
Thanks again.
Gary
None of us usually are! 😉
I learned to actually practice these sorts of things when I learned some tips on saying "No".
The exercise had me tape a list of phrases that say no or decline right by my telephone (ok, it was a landline years ago! 🤭). But seeing them there regularly, and repeating them under my breath, made it not only easier to remember, but I was also more fluent and natural when I used them.
I'm now also less likely to say something totally blunt and rude back. Like the time I called a friend a bigot. 🤐
Yeah, I was able to explain my viewpoint afterward which did actually help her (she was talking about her own people's culture, but in a totally derogatory way, probably because she's a long time immigrant she said).
But I still could have been more tactful from the first. Oops. LOL
Just sayin'. It helps me to be prepared. Whatever that takes.
Of course, in your encounter, sometimes the level of "totally out of line" is simply too overwhelming to speak!
Best wishes to you!
Aw thanks NeatMind-MessyLife,what made it worse was that it was Infront of other people as well .Gary
Kickupbum2st 7lbs
Sounds like he has the issue: why would anyone be so intrusive verbally or physically? Well done on the run but do not give him the credit for it! Well done on the 10k run. I'm finding 5k hard enough to walk! Lol.
It's disgusting that someone did that. Is it any of their business?
They have room to talk ,Gary
Edge1234Visitor
How incredibly rude, insensitive and disrespectful of her. Let’s hope she has reflected on her comments, feels shitty and will make it up to you next time she sees you. Whereupon you can smile sweetly and say you never gave it another thought 😁
Keep up with your efforts though xx
Cat33Restart Dec 2023
Hello Gary I wonder what charm school he attended think he needs a refund on the fees !
I'm really sorry that it happened as I know you have felt quite low recently
Although if you felt that you needed to get back to running then in an unkind way he's done you a favour hasn't he
I firmly believe in Karma so he will get his comeuppance
Take care
She will I'm sure ,luckily I don't see them that often .Thanks Cat33,
Gart
It's a she ! Well if you had grabbed her stomach things would be very different wouldn't they Glad you don't see them that much
Look at all the supportive messages you have had on here 👍
ForestryPine6Restart April 2024
It does happen unfortunately as it happened to me at my local bus station and a woman from the same village not a friend said in a crowd of people Hey you've put some weight on... I was taken aback and just said Yeah" with a fella coming to my rescue and saying it's all the good food he's had over Xmas like us all, she didn't mean for it to hurt just blurted it out as something to say.. Although I didn't like that as there was a queue for bus and I knew lots of people I shrugged it off.. I have been at my Gym at least twice a week since January working out hard on X-trainer and weights.. Sometimes in life people don't engage the brain before speaking, I know she wasn't being hurtful.. If she had? I would have said You don't look to clever yourself and turned away! I know where you coming from as we don't need it. Your not alone by far.. Wishing you all the best as we try to lose some weight.. Also medication of a certain prescribed drug is a Big Weight Gainer Mirtazepine.
The person who said is not a twiglet themselves.Thanks ForestryPine6,
Gary
Ditto" The women who did it to me I have thought in recent year's as aged a lot but would Never tell her that and she's certainly No Twiglet and her husband a cracking darts player slugs the beer back with huge belly 3 times as big as myself also a lovely guy, like a throw back to former Darts player's gman1961.. I could have been someone else and let rip at her and husband.. but I'm not that type,, She did turn heads though in crowded area, All the best on your journey 💪
Aw thanks ForestryPine6,I didn't want to stoop to their level
I'm better than that .
Gary
Imustdothis2st 7lbs
Good morning gman1961, my blood is boiling, the more I know some people the more I like animals. I hope that all her finger and toe nails drop out for saying that to you. Many congratulations on your run, brilliant job. Thank goodness for this forum, all kind and helpful like minded people that back up one another. Onwards Gary, onwards with your head held high. Take care xxxxxx
I wasn't expecting it ,I did have a big thick coat on .Great support as usual on here .
Thanks Imustdothis,
Gary
Anytime my friend, any time at all. Xxxxx
So kind Imustdothis,Gary
Dietbunny27lbs
Unbelievable! And so, so rude. And so intrusive into your personal space I wonder if she actually thought she was flirting with you?! Totally unacceptable whatever was in her mind. I like your response - action and good for you too. Have a great week gman1961 😃
Hope not that's even worse Dietbunny2,perish the thought Thanks Dietbunny2,
Gary
Lol - well you got the best from the encounter with your run, so all good in the end!
I'll show them ,Thanks Dietbunny2,
Gary
Go you, Gman!
What a horrid person! I know how it feels. Someone once thought I was pregnant and when I said I wasn't, she said "oh well you look like you are". I was mortified.
People then say I didn't mean it like that !How did you mean it ?
I'll have the last laugh ,
Gary
How rude
dawnz3st 7lbs
Grrrrr, I literally am fuming for you. If I was nice I would say turn the other cheek but no, that is out of line - off your christmas card list I presume? Little does the neighbour know the gman we know, a loss for them!
Wine7st 7lbs
That is awful hope karma kicks her up the bum... Me if I haven't nothing nice to say i am silent... Some people just haven't got a clueGkad you got on with it and don't have to see them often... Are they moving soon can you make that happen
Fuming hate people who body shame and in public... That's just nasty... Sorry ranting
"Don't touch. I bite." Then smile.
Some people are just plain stupid.
Gary, from your replies - sounds like you have a good attitude. Next time you see this person you will be laughing and shaking your head, not stopping and keep moving.
Hi LindaP50, thanks for your input. Are you still on your weight loss journey or just visiting. Either way is fine by us
Yes to both. Was too hard for me along with daily caregiving tasks to think in pounds and stones. I'm struggling to get on track with dieting and exercising.
Welcome back, LindaP50
Just a few minutes spent each day interacting on the forum could make all the difference to you, especially on the Daily Diary. As a reminder, you can find the link in pinned posts healthunlocked.com/weight-l...
I hope we'll be seeing more of you
Hopefully I won't see them for a while ,Thanks LindP50,
Gary
docmar1st 7lbs
Just think Gary, you are doing something about your weight and fitness Your neighbour is always going to be bad mannered and rude and has shown herself up in front of others . You already have the last laugh. Keep smiling and well done on the 10k
Scaffie2 stone
how jolly rude, well done on the run!
gman1961HostRestart April 2024
Thank you Scaffie ,Gary
Touching by neighbours or friends without your permission is a No No in my book. Sounds as if your neighbour may have boundary issues.Take care Adiewon
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