Have you been through this?: Hey... - Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support

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Have you been through this?

moonlight89 profile image
moonlight892022 July

Hey everyone,

so I'm currently kind of struggling with my weight loss journey.

Just some background information:

I lost 20kg (ca. 44lbs) in 2020. I was 72kg (ca. 158lbs) and made it to my goal weight of 52kg (ca. 114lbs). For reference, my height is 167cm (ca. 5'5). It took me about 6-7 months to lose that weight, and I was never happier. I felt amazing, I loved my body. I combined exactly the three key factors of a successful journey; a fulfilling, yet calorie deficient diet, frequent exercise and most importantly, consistency and persistence. Everything was perfect.

I kept the weight off for about a year and a half. Now I must be honest, I took a plunge into the deep end right when I started my weight loss journey in 2020. I started off right away with a diet of 1300 calories daily and 30 minutes of exercise a day, 7 days a week. For the first 4 months of my journey, I didn't have a single cheat meal (though I do prefer to call it treat meal). But to be honest, I didn't miss it. I was feeling great and loved my progress of losing weight.

Now to the bad part... December 2021 was when I kind of fell. I started to overeat, every day throughout all of December. I kept on telling myself "you've done so well this past year, just take this month to enjoy the holidays with your friends and family and after that, you'll go back on track". Needless to say, I never did bounce back the way I was hoping to. I stopped overeating and thus, stopped feeling like a slug all the time, but I was still eating high calorie meals and didn't exercise at all. It is now July, I gained most of the weight I lost back. I now weigh 68kg (ca. 150lbs). Because I feel like I betrayed myself and have also kind of lost all the confidence I had when I was at my fittest and healthiest, I want to get back on track now and get back to my goal weight. Right now, it's 55kg (ca. 120lbs). But I can just never stay consistent with my goals. I start a new meal and exercise plan and the next thing I know, 3-4 days later, I mess up and it feels like I'm starting at square on each time. I see no progress at all. This has been going on since the start of June now. I feel so disappointed in myself, because I just can't accomplish what I did back in 2020. Why can I not stay consistent now? I feel so ashamed. I look at pictures of myself when I was fit and think "wow, I loved myself then, I felt good. I was strong". Now I just feel week, I seem to have lost all my persistence and willpower. I just want to feel good in my own body again.

Sorry for the long essay, but I would appreciate any advice. Or if you've been going through, or perhaps have been through, something similar as me, then I'd love to hear your story.

Thanks and have a good day!

24 Replies

Hmm an interesting one! I think most people on here have tried and failed at weight loss. I started a couple of years ago, my weight was at 82kg and my BMI was right on the borderline of obesity which freaked me out! I did the NHS weight loss app twice and lost 10kg to 72kg. Then over the course of the next year it slowly gained to 77.4kg and I started having knee aches and pains which is when I joined here and have been going downwards (slowly!) ever since.

Do you know why you stopped doing the exercise and healthy eating? You maintained for a really long time! Was there one kind of exercise that you really enjoyed? Did you have some favourite meals that you found really tasty? Maybe you could start with that and remind yourself of what you enjoyed about that lifestyle. Or there are people on here who find other options like low carb or intermittent fasting works well for them

The other thing is that your goal is quite big -13kg, splitting it into smaller more manageable chunks can really help with motivation

moonlight89 profile image
moonlight892022 July in reply to Sheepfan

Hi Sheepfan!

Wow thanks for the fast reply, I didn't expect for anyone to reply this fast, as it is my first ever post on this forum.

I must say you're definitely right, taking it slow when it comes to weight loss is exactly the right mindset.

I guess my biggest "weakness" is the fear of not seeing fast results. When I lost the weight the first time round, I did get those exact fast results I've been wanting my entire life. So not being able to bounce back now is hugely demotivating to me. I guess I need to change my mindset.

As to why I stopped exercising, it mostly had to do with "not having enough time". Which isn't a very good reason, I know. When I lost the weight in 2020, everyone was in lockdown due to the pandemic and I had time to completely focus on my weight loss. Also, I was a student living on my own then, which allowed me full control over my routine and diet. At the end of last year, I moved back in with my parents and I guess that's when I started to lose track of my diet. I used to follow my meal plan religiously, but with my mum making all of those nostalgic (but high calorie) meals, I just neglected my own meal plan because not only were my studies getting really stressful, but I just really wanted to enjoy meals together with my family again. After being fed up with my weight gain, I've now told my family that I would like to cook for myself again (in hopes of losing weight again).

I'm sorry, I don't even know what I'm rambling on about haha.

I guess I've just never really been able to talk about weight loss with anyone before, much less with anyone who understands, because before I lost the weight, I was always that one "fat friend of the group".

I appreciate your advice very much though,

I guess I could definitely see myself just going back to exactly how I did it in 2020, same meal plan and all. I just wish I had the same willpower as I did then. I keep on telling myself "you've got this, you will not fail, you will succeed" but then I just think about my 7 month decline and am massively demotivated again. I guess I just have to let go of the past and look forward.

Thanks for reading yet another long message, I hope all is well :)

Sheepfan profile image
Sheepfan6kg in reply to moonlight89

Ah ramblings are good! Sometimes you need a good ramble just to get things sorted out in your own head more than anything!

It's interesting that you've mentioned moving back in with your family again. Wanting to share meals with them is only natural! Maybe you could cook some of your favourite lower calorie meals for them?

I know you've gained weight but you're still 4kg lower than when you started! Remember that you're not back to square one!

As for exercise, there's a "fit is fun club" on this forum where you can set out exercise goals for the week of that helps. Sometimes joining a group or a team for a sport you enjoy can help keep you engaged.

Good luck! 🙂

moonlight89 profile image
moonlight892022 July in reply to Sheepfan

Thanks for the tips, I appreciate them very much!

But when I first moved back in with my family, I insisted on cooking dinner for everyone for the couple of weeks. However, I noticed that my family is not up for the type of meals I cook haha. Take zucchini noodles for example, my family would never dare to swap their "tried and true" wheat noodles for spiralised zucchini.

So I figure it best to just let them cook their meals as I cook my own meals. Sometimes it's just a little hard to resist the higher calorie foods when they're right in front of me, so that's why I really miss the willpower I had back then right now.

But I'll definitely check out the "fit is fun club", it sounds like exactly the thing I need! I really need to get started with a consistent, sustainable exercise regime again.

Thanks again for your support :)

BridgeGirl profile image

Hi moonlight89 and welcome to the forum :)

You sound like you have a lot of insight. You have done so well and you understand how things fell apart when you went back to a "normal" pattern.

A couple of thoughts: is 52kgs a realistic/reasonable target for you at 167cms? And did you enjoy your eating plan when you were going well with the weight loss? And your exercise/activity? When you're making a change for life, the change has to be sustainable.

You'll find plenty of support and ideas here once you start joining in around the forum. Look through our Pinned Posts by following this link healthunlocked.com/weight-l... You'll find the weigh in, daily diary (where you can share your meal plans) and much more.

The more you join in, the more you'll get out of it so I hope we'll see you out and about :)

moonlight89 profile image
moonlight892022 July in reply to BridgeGirl

Thanks BridgeGirl!

I agree, when losing weight, it should always be for the long run and thus, sustainable.

I guess there is more than one factor as to why everything fell apart. Looking back at it now, another key factor was that I was pretty strict with myself. I barely let loose with my diet and that negatively impacted my social life. I couldn't go out to eat with my friends, I couldn't even accept food from them whenever I visited them because it "didn't fit into my meal plan". Combined with the stress due to my studies I was going through at the time, that probably had a huge play in why I lost control.

I guess if I were to go back to my old diet plan, I should probably give myself a little more room to be less strict. But first I need to really let go of that fear of not seeing fast weight loss results. It sounds ridiculous, I know.

But I'll work on it, and thanks again for the tips on the forum!

Have a good day/night!

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to moonlight89

That's it, think long(er) term.

I came across this when I was driving yesterday bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0c98s7r - a very interesting listen, about relationships as well as food. And a big emphasis on the role of hormones (particularly insulin) on weight gain/loss. It's the last of 7 programmes so the others may be worth seeking out on BBC Sounds

rachelleigh profile image
rachelleighVisitor in reply to BridgeGirl

Thanks so much for mentioning this BridgeGirl. I loved, loved, loved this series when it was first broadcast. I hadn't realised there had been a follow up episode - can't wait to check it out!

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to rachelleigh

It is excellent :)

Maxy6 profile image
Maxy63kg in reply to BridgeGirl

Very interesting podcast. Going to listen to the others too.

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to Maxy6

Hope you enjoy them

In chatting I think that you have uncovered your reasons for your slow / stalled progress this time. You have lost control of your food. your meals are no longer your own.

I lost no weight because of living with someone and when l did it instantly went back on when he cooked. Nothing to do with quantity but the type of meal. Spaghetti. Bol. Would look ok but he would have packed it with unhealthy veg oil and sugar ( think loads of tomato purée) double portion of pasta which he would have mixed in with the meat so I couldn’t pick it out . So frustrating.

Your family know you are trying to loose weight so get them on board.

Sunday roast, eat with them but get yourself a smaller plate, I have an old 1950’s dinner plate which is smaller than a modern dinner plate. Don’t load it up. Put veg on first, no carbs, ok one roastie one Yorkshire, meat, gravy. Save a pud for evening meal, you make the pud. And really enjoy it.

Day before have a fasting day to balance food intake it will also take the guilt away. Let your mum know why you fast so that you can enjoy Sunday. ( you can fast but have a bowl of low carb/low sugar soup for lunch, not packet or tinned).

Have your spiral courgettes when they have pasta.

Pick up hairy bikers two diet books from a charity shop (ours regularly gets them donated) , or the library, they have lots of traditional recipes that have been tweaked your family might be happier with these.

See if you can get your family to loose weight. Carful with this.

Alternatively batch cook your meals and freeze but have them with family and their veg. Don’t expect your mum to cook two meals it’s not fair.

Freeze soup. Leek, pea, green veg soup are my favourite. Start the meal with soup, no bread or a small piece to clean the bowl, then have a smaller main meal, dish it up yourself.

It’s hard living with someone and after 15 years of trying to loose weight and failing I now post my meals on the fridge. He lets me know which he wants to join in so I can plan cooking and shopping, if he doesn’t, he is on his own. So far it’s working.

Exercise is hard to do in front of others or it they are in the house, I find it embarrassing, intrusive.

Join a dance group or running group it will get you away from your studies and socialising. At home you could say your practicing for the group dance so you don’t look a numpty.

Pound those streets (if it’s safe). The fresh air will clear your head after your studies or set you up before them.

It’s going to be very different changing habits when others aren’t.

Good luck.

Let us know how you are getting on.

moonlight89 profile image
moonlight892022 July in reply to Arthrath

Hi Arthrath,

wow, thanks for your detailled advice!

I'm very glad I joined this forum, just reading all of the posts on here motivates me to get on with my journey.

Ultimately, I think I just need to stop making excuses about starting a consistent plan and just draw the line right now. A big part of my new journey seems to be the importance of adapting to my new "environment". I just have to realise that I am no longer a student living alone during lockdown, but instead I now constantly have people around me, errands to run and even more stressful studies ahead of me. I need to realise that my new weight loss journey will not be the same as my old weight loss journey from 2020. I need to let go of the past and focus on the present.

Thanks again for the tips :)

Wine profile image
Wine3st 7lbs

Hello moonlight

You are discribing my journey with weight I was you i wish I had found this group then. It works.

Please stick the first weeks out it sounds you are like me on that as well its hard to start eating better.

Sheepfan is right i am doing baby steps and just looking at losing 5%. I reached my fifth 5% loss yesterday.

I wish you well you have all the tools and a supportive family which is really important. Mine are my conscience they want me to succeed as well.

Stay with this group they are sublime hope to see you at the weigh in post and see a smaller you.

Real-Asherah profile image
Real-Asherah2022 June

Hello! I too have been there, with weight up and down. I am currently very overweight, but also much older by a decade since my last attempt to lose weight. I am also very short and well past middle age at 60 years of age. However, even with all of that, I am successfully losing weight again, but I have much more realistic goals and target weight. I am aiming for a loss of 20 kg over a time period of 2 years. That is approximately 1 kg, or just under, a month. This time round I am doing it for myself simply because I now have access to a workable working lifestyle, that will earn me some money and make life easier. That motivation is a great source of encouragement. I don't know what your reasons for losing weight are, but I believe that they must be concrete enough to allow you to be patient over a long period of time. I know that this time round, I will keep the weight off.

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to Real-Asherah

Hello Real_Asherah, I hope you'll start joining in with forum activities, like moonlight - she has just posted on the daily diary.

In case you've forgotten the link to our pinned posts that you were given when you joined, you'll see it in Gizmocat's reply above. Once you get involved with the diary, weigh in, fit club etc, you'll soon feel part of the community :)

Real-Asherah profile image
Real-Asherah2022 June in reply to BridgeGirl

Thanks, but at the moment I am more comfortable with the way I do things. However, I will get more involved in the future if it helps me better. Thanks!

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to Real-Asherah

You're welcome :)

focused1 profile image

Gosh this is me too. I am 62 so can’t afford to be super skinny as it really goes to your face . You look drawn and wrinkles are accentuated. So I got to 62kg . I was buzzing . Xmas 2021 was when I thought out goes everything- enjoy all inc eating and drinking liberally. I swiftly went to 66kg and now on the scales / 67.3 kg . I felt sick , fat and worthless . But I was 80kg .So starting radical manic Monday -no alcohol, mindful unprocessed and 5 days out of 7 with exercise .This has to make a difference and will weigh in after 6 weeks. Thanks as your story has given me that kick start :

moonlight89 profile image
moonlight892022 July in reply to focused1

Wow I can't believe we're both basically in the exact same boat!I'm rooting for you!

We will both surely reach our goals😊

focused1 profile image
focused1Maintainer in reply to moonlight89

Thanks. Had a decent but complicated loads of gears Trek bike bought for my birthday and didn’t ride it much .2 weeks ago in middle of night our bikes were stolen from locked garage . Just battled and got insurance to pay up so just ordered basic 3 gear Raleigh city bike . I aim to ride this the min it hits the door . I don’t feel safe walking on my own but this may be key plus reg Zumba via You Tube . Can’t just do this by cutting out food . Need exercise routine that is realistic and varied .

Love yourself now Moonlight89 - please don’t feel ashamed. I notice I get so stuck when I allow my negative self talk to dominate my thinking. I do so much better with weightloss if I am kind and loving and can frame my view of me as someone worth looking after....

Like you - I put on weight earlier this year after having successfully lost some. But ... it's ok. My job was stressful and overeating has always been my classic stress response. I have lost weight before, I know I can do it again (despite it getting more difficult as I get older...)

Love all that you are now. You are so much more than the numbers on the scales. Take your time... there's no rush. Eat and move with kindness, care and nourishment in mind. I hope you've had a good few days since you posted this - do let us know how you're getting on? Rachel x

moonlight89 profile image
moonlight892022 July in reply to rachelleigh

Thank you very much for your kind words, I appreciate them very much :)

Since posting this post, I've been trying to change my mindset towards losing weight again.

I'm trying to take things slow and I've just been trying to do my best.

And I wish you a lot of luck on your weight loss journey too!

All the best to you, Rachel!

rachelleigh profile image
rachelleighVisitor in reply to moonlight89

Thank you so much for replying - and for your kind wishes too. This forum can be so lovely! You doing your best will be good enough - even if achieving weight loss seems to take waaaay longer than any of us would like! Do post again in the weeks ahead if you feel it might help... Sending you all best wishes - you've got this! x

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