Aghh just ruined my diet yet again!!! - Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support

110,934 members58,697 posts

Aghh just ruined my diet yet again!!!

Rosyjo123 profile image
Rosyjo1232021 July

I am so unhappy and angry at myself right now! I keep trying and trying to lose weight but keep failing and end up putting weight on!

I have been trying to diet for years and am so fed up with it! I had one really good year where I really focused and lost a lot of weight. But since then it's just creeping back on and I can't seem to stop it.

I have loads of excuses! Sometimes it's stress or I'm too tired or I have other priorities. Or I blame the snacks on offer at work. Or the kids just drive me mad. Or are begging for a treat day (aka takeaway). But sometimes, a lot of the time, it's just me.

I look at my day, plan my meals, calculate my calories, plan in lots of healthy fruit and veg and protein to fill me up. I drink my 2 litres of water. I exercise an hour and a half every day. I start off well... then I get home from work and I am HUNGRY. And tired. If I am bad I grab snacks before dinner. But even if I try with all my will to not give in and have dinner I am STILL STARVING right after dinner and I just eat and eat.

So there goes my calorie budget for the day! Again!

I just googled appetite suppressants I feel that desperate! But I don't really believe they are genuine and articles say they can be dangerous.

I am at a loss. I feel like I need stronger willpower but I just can't describe here how all consuming the hunger is when it hits! I wonder if its because I've been yo yo dieting so long my hunger hormones are completely messed up!

34 Replies
moreless profile image
morelessAdministrator

Maybe the route you're taking isn't the right one for you, Rosyjo123? Here are a few things for you to read:

healthunlocked.com/weight-l...

healthunlocked.com/weight-l...

fatismyfriend.co.uk/

Rosyjo123 profile image
Rosyjo1232021 July in reply to moreless

Interesting reading! I can definitely see how insulin resistance could be a big part of it. But I am at a loss at trying to go low-carb. I would have to completely overhaul my whole way of eating and calculating calories which at the moment just seems way way too overwhelming! But I will keep reading for ideas! See if I can make small changes!

moreless profile image
morelessAdministrator in reply to Rosyjo123

Going low carb is a lot easier than you think and calorie counting at the same time is unnecessary. See if these could help dietdoctor.com/low-carb and dropbox.com/s/fdd3njer5jovv...

rosyG profile image
rosyG2021 September in reply to moreless

I looked at the site today as am feeling just like Rosy Jo I've looked at the links you have given and am going to switch to low carb diet. Can you advise re berries and tomatoes- some of the sources you gave seem to omit completely while others allow these- do I have to count the carbs to make sure they are below a certain point I think I'm best to not aim for keto state as have various minor health issues- grateful for any advice as at wits end re weight gain now. Need to lose 1-1/2 stone for health reasons

moreless profile image
morelessAdministrator in reply to rosyG

Hi and welcome, rosyG :)

If you look at these infographics, you'll see that tomatoes have fewer carbs than broccoli and berries have similar to Brussels sprouts :)

dietdoctor.com/low-carb/vis...

Keto may be necessary for the first couple of weeks, just to get your body away from using carbs as fuel and to recalibrate your hormones, but after that, low carb is strict enough and is sustainable. Strict carb counting is not necessary, but some people do to get started dietdoctor.com/low-carb/how...

All of the information you need about the forum can be found in Pinned Posts healthunlocked.com/weight-l... and we hope you'll be joining all the Events, Challenges and Clubs that we run, especially a weigh-in and the daily diary.

We've found active participation to be key to successful weight loss and, of course, it's a good way to get to know people, find inspiration and share support and encouragement.

Wishing you all the best :)

rosyG profile image
rosyG2021 September in reply to moreless

That's very helpful many thanks. Off to the shops to stock up on right foods!

moreless profile image
morelessAdministrator in reply to rosyG

I hope we'll be seeing all your delicious low carb creations on our Daily Diary :)

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to Rosyjo123

You certainly won't be hungry if you take that route, once you're settled in to it :)

walkinthewoods profile image
walkinthewoods7lbs in reply to Rosyjo123

I agree with moreorless absolutely. Low carb is much easier than calorie counting and much more satisfying. As long as I have low carb foods in the house, I am fine. I also bought a couple of low carb recipe books. I did miss bread for the first few weeks but I have far less bloating and lots more energy.

M0rv3n profile image
M0rv3n7lbs

Oh Rosyjo123 , It is Sooooo hard.... I am no big weight loss star, but as someone recently said to me on this site, its not a race its a life change, and each day is a new day. If Will Power was available in a bottle the inventor would be a millionaire overnight......

There are many more experienced members than me, but there are 2 areas of this forum that I find help me to be more honest and true to myself, and accountable, than maybe I would be. - The 1st is the Daily Diary.....where you record your menu plan for the day, and the 2nd is the weekly weigh in.

I used to pay to attend a weekly weight loss group, and took great comfort from the groups support, but this is all for free as long as you are willing to contribute and share ...

Good luck :)

Rosyjo123 profile image
Rosyjo1232021 July in reply to M0rv3n

I have three places where I record my weight daily and I plan my days meals a week in advance (whilst also looking at and adjusting it day to day too). I do ALL the right things and I know what to do... but when that hunger point hits I just seem powerless to stop it!

M0rv3n profile image
M0rv3n7lbs in reply to Rosyjo123

Have you talked to your GP ? are you on meds that may influence your hunger ???? Sorry ignore me if I pry.... :)

Rosyjo123 profile image
Rosyjo1232021 July in reply to M0rv3n

No. Not on meds unless you count the contraceptive injection which i am given to stop my periods as I have endometriosis. My first ever weight problems and hormonal problems did seem to start around the time I first went on the contraceptive pill but it's not something I have control over anymore as there is no cure or home remedies for endometriosis.

in reply to Rosyjo123

Hi, i replied above. Yes contraceptions can definetly be the cause as they kill the microbiome just like antibiotics. Thats why they give it to pigs to faten them up.i have silent endometriosis stage 4 and i did a lot of research. I talked to the researcher who cured endl in mice.so the idea is this. Endo us caused by pathogens either c diff or klebsiella in the cervix.up until now they thought the cervix did not have any bacterias. The cervix and the vagina microbiome when it gets disturbed can allow for pathogens in. He gave either antibiotic or fecal transplant to rats and cured it. A week cervix microbiome is caused by a week colon microbiome. Fixing your colon can do wonders. I even went in menapause and came out when i started improving my diet.another thing that helped a lot was wim hof method. To make it simple, anything that stops pathogens will help with endo.see if you can change a bit diet and do wim hof and lower the dose of contraceptives. Btw i did a microbiome analysis of my vagina and it did show klebsiella.Even just taking femdophilus could help.

Here is the antibiotic study but you would achieve the same with increasing gut bacterias in colon.

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/310...

slipstick profile image
slipstickMaintainer in reply to Rosyjo123

I have found that there's a real difference between just me weighing and planning my food and sharing those weights and plans with all the helpful and encouraging people on the Daily Diary and Weigh-ins. I feel a degree of accountability as well as picking up some great ideas for new meals.

Bear789 profile image
Bear7893st 7lbs

Hello! What has worked really well for me so far is avoiding foods with any added sugar, sweetener and not drinking alcohol unless I on a social occasion ie. No 6pm wine. Doing this has genuinely helped me as I'm not constantly craving another sweet thing. Eating 'diet' foods just never worked for me. Less processed the better.

It's hard and I am a snacker ,too.I try to snack on fruit and nuts. You are being hard on yourself-you haven't ruined your diet, it's a lifestyle and you can restart again. Try a different food plan-there are lots on here. I believe in you! Max

Rosyjo123 profile image
Rosyjo1232021 July in reply to Maxy6

Monday WAS the start of a new plan! I've made adjustments and am going to try again today. I do snack on fruit but find nuts way way too calorific to fit into my budget!

Helenbrc profile image
HelenbrcRestart Sept 2021

Morning I have just read your post and I am exactly the same but it’s a new day let’s try and best this cycle of bad habit eatingWe can do this good luck

Rosyjo123 profile image
Rosyjo1232021 July in reply to Helenbrc

Thank you!

TheTabbyCat profile image
TheTabbyCatAdministrator in reply to Helenbrc

Hi Helenbrc it's great to see you back. I'm sure that you can remember your way around but if you can't I suggest that you begin at the pinned posts. Just click on the link below, scroll down until you find a post which interests you, click on the title to open the post. If you want to see another one just start again.

healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

As always we find that participation is the key to success. The Daily Diary and the weekly Weigh In are very good places to begin.

Good luck 🍀

Hi

I cam give two advices. Maybe it can help. You are more in control of your mind and body that we think. I think we women have a very emotional relationship with our body.that means that when we try something out, its harder to identify what it doesnt work.also society has pushed us to believe we need to be kind to our body and not exercise too much.thats bs. I want to maintain weight and fit in the same clothes.

1. If you are so hungry that you cant stop eatimg you have to figure out what you are missing.for example in my case i know that if i eat 100g meat at each meal i will not eat everything in the fridge. See if you can write down quantity and increase it ever day for a week and write from 1 to 10 how hungry you are.ive heared that for some people its the carbs.

You neeed know what diet works for you.if i wake you up at 3am you should know:). But low carb works for everyone.i would mix low carb and calory counting.but have it written down

2. Second advice is exercise.you said 1.5hs a day.not sure what you do but longevity studies(the good ones) say 5hs a way is perfect. 90 year olds had the body of 40 year olds.there also you have to be very consistent. If its cardio, you neeed to do the same intensity and speed.dont buy into the "change it because body gets used to it". No study show that. Write it down and be consistent for a month

The last is bonus.they know now that certain bacterias extract more calories from foods. The bacterias that love vegetsbles need to be more.not sure how you are eating but you can use bristol stool test to see health of microbiome. You can add in prebiotics: inulin/fos, partially hydrolised guar gum, gos. Partially hydrolised guar gum is very well tolerated. The dose is 2 for partially hydrolised guar gum, gos and 3 for 4 fos.it take 4 months fir these to work. Add polephynols to your food like ground flax seed.at the end, you should bd glowing of so much anti-inflamatory compounds.

Since you are exrrcusing already for 1.5hs a day, you know how to make yourself do stuff.you are almost there.also, dont snack.thats another bad advice.

See if any of this helps.

Sammy-Lou profile image
Sammy-Lou2021 February

Hi Rosyjo123 bless you! I’ve spent my adult life dieting! I’ve actually found one that suits me! I don’t know if I can recommend or advocate this diet? It involves going to a class and I’ve made some wonderful diet friends! It’s healthy and filling and it’s working for me!

I’ve got a spring in my step! It involves planning meals which may not be easy for someone in a full time job.

Good luck 🤞

I know that feeling after 40 years of yo yo dieting. I finally came to understand that much of my overeating was linked to other reasons. That took some unravelling but although my weight isnt always where I want it to be, I feel I have a more balanced approach now. I try to practice a little self care and think about what I really need rather than pleasing everyone else. It has helped me. Not sure if that is helpful but best of luck.

focused1 profile image
focused1Maintainer

You can only eat what you buy . I stopped buying snacks then I couldn’t eat them . 3 meals a day and no snacks . This worked for me and my husband . I lost 18kg and he lost 39 kg . We are fitter than 20 years ago . Moderate exercise tooand we are more enthusiastic to do it now our knees don’t ache and we breathe / sleep better too .

Rosyjo123 profile image
Rosyjo1232021 July in reply to focused1

Unfortunately kids in the house means snacks in the house! My youngest is extremely fussy and not very healthy and will literally starve or make herself sick if I try to get her to eat healthy foods. We've seen a doctor but they said she is a healthy weight and growing well and if she wants to live on chicken nuggets then "that's good protein" (doctors words). So I try to limit her but not having snacks in the house at all is impossible!

focused1 profile image
focused1Maintainer in reply to Rosyjo123

Keep a kids cupboard then and this is for the kids only . I am 61 and aged 58 I had a medical wake up call . I wasn't enormous but the weight crept on and crept on more . You are discussing this now so you are over the first hurdle . Take the kids out by walking , pack a picnic so you can't shop . there are places to push a buggy and parks to break a journey and keep them interested . I had hiatus hernia as I was overweight. The length of time , horrid tests then finally surgery - I wouldn't wish it on anyone . Out of 6 friends of similar age - 3 have type 2 diabetes ...apologies for the horror stories but this is the best thing I ever did . My 5 sons are relieved . They wouldn't and couldn't tell me but they do tell me now they were scared for my general health and future.

Maxy6 profile image
Maxy66kg in reply to focused1

This has helped me. If it isn't here, I can't eat it. I realize that doesn't work for everyone.

Debs2510 profile image
Debs25104 stone

Hi Rosyjo123, I have spent most of my life overweight and a very large part of that morbidly obese, I have struggled to lose weight repeatedly over the years and even on 1200 calories rarely lost anything, a few years ago I gave up and thought what's the point and didn't bother trying and luckily my weight remained about the same.In April this year I decided I HAD to do something so after reading lots of posts on here decided to try LCHF and to cut a long story short, 19 weeks later I am 53lb lighter, am never hungry and enjoying food again as no guilty feelings.

Hope you find something that works for you. Debs x

Eryl profile image
ErylVisitor

I've never counted any of my food except that I weigh out oats and rice before cooking so that I'm not tempted to finish off any left overs and my bmi is 21. All I do is avoid processed food including bread, biscuits and cakes. (remember that sugar and white flour are processed, so is fruit juice). Remember that insulin affects your hunger and satiety hormones so your hunger pangs are reduced when you eat less sugars and starches so you're less tempted to snack.

walkthisway profile image
walkthiswayMaintainer

Hello Rosyjo123

You sound totally overwhelmed and frustrated and at the end of your tether - I really feel for you. Take a deep breath and reset. I am also a yo-yo dieter and feeling hungry makes me desperate so I have some idea how you feel.

You are so hard on yourself - being angry with yourself, calling yourself (your behaviour) bad, that you are making excuses, you need stronger willpower etc - this won’t help. Be nice to yourself, talk to and treat yourself like you would a best friend who was in the same situation. You wouldn’t be so hard on them would you? You would be kind and supportive and caring.

Your hunger is clearly a huge driver here. Hunger is a powerful life force designed to protect us from starvation. For me I found hunger quite frightening, very uncomfortable and wrapped up in a lot of other complicated feelings which lead to a vicious cycle of behaviour - like - I am hungry because I must deprive myself of food because I am fat - and then snacking or overeating and then hating myself etc etc. I had to learn to lessen the desperation around hunger, to not be so frightened and anxious about it and that being so uncomfortable with it was ok.

You also sound as though you are also under huge stress and pressure from daily life. Maybe take a look at what the biggest stressors are and see if they can be reduced - if someone can help out or if you can reduce your commitments?

Exercising for an hour and a half every day may not be helpful at the moment - weight loss is mostly about what we eat (so I understand) so maybe cut exercise down to 2 or 3 days or the amount of time spent each day.

How much weight do you want to lose and why? Have you made yourself some clear goals with mini stages along the way?

There is some excellent advice on here about low carb and I hope you can give it some real consideration. I hope your family can understand and support what you are doing.

Lowish carb (around 80gms a day) and calorie monitoring (around 1400) is how I have recently lost 3 stone on my 3rd yo-yo back down. I still felt normal hunger which is necessary and a good thing but not the desperation I felt on a low calorie diet. I also felt lower carb would be impossible given other commitments and it took a couple of weeks to make adjustments and it was a bit hit and miss but then became easier. Simple steps were - cut right down on bread, potatoes, pasta rice - for spaghetti Bolognese - just have the meat, for burgers just have the meat patty and not the bun, have lots of veg on the side, chicken fajitas don’t have the wraps etc. But have cheese and yogurt. I found snacks of berries, peanut butter, nuts very good. I always saved a couple of squares of dark chocolate for after dinner.

I don’t miss any of that stuff now and hope to have found a way to a more sustainable lifestyle rather than yo-yo ing up and down.

Finding a way to eat that helps you lose weight and then maintain that loss is not a quick fix and it doesn’t matter how long it takes to make changes. I wish you lots of strength and patience to take care of yourself.

Hi Rosyjo123 aka Hungry Hoss!

I feel your pain. I too am just a big ol' hungry gal. For years I wondered about it and tried fruitlessly to explain to doctors and other medical professionals who just smiled blandly with a look that said 'another excuse-maker not applying their will-power' as they told me to exercise portion control.

I was mortified when an aunt told me I was the spitting image of my paternal grandmother, Grace. Now, Grace was distinguished by being enormously fat despite living on Shetland during the early part of the 20th Century and subsisting on the local diet of boiled mackerel, nieps and the odd tattie. It was a hard life. No one has ever been able to work out how she achieved her prodigious size, although I have noticed there is a definite proportion of native island women in the northern and western isles who are built similarly. I always called it 'island body' and assumed it was a genetic thing, with many island people having a predisposition to store fat and thus successfully survive to reproduce in harsh and unreliable environments.

Imagine my vindication now that modern research is proving that very process: some of us are genetically predisposed to acquire fat, and the main mechanism driving this is HUNGER. People with a lower metabolism aren't great survivors as they are less able to achieve strenuous output, but hungry people are actively driven to seek out food and eat more of it, more often! Sound familiar?

I'd love to say there was a magic pill, but there isn't. And since I have ADHD, I have a prescription for amphetamine-based treatment that has not only had no effect whatsoever on curbing my eating, but despite which I continued to gain weight. Well done me.

I don't want this to sound doom-laden and hopeless, though. I just think that if you are a hungry person, you need to recognise and respect that. Tim Spector's book 'Spoon Fed' focuses on all the research demonstrating that everyone's way of processing food is different and that one day we'll all have genetic tests that tell us what to eat and how often, but for now we just have to try to work out what works for us as individuals. You might find a low carb diet works to help deal with your appetite. It doesn't work for me, and in fact makes me feel very unbalanced and out of sorts, but keeping carbs as complex as possible and middling to low-ish seems to work in my case, with a lot of vegetables. I also love Japanese food, and as that is traditionally served in many small portions and eaten very slowly, it keeps my need for variety and lots of different tastes well satisfied. It is also eaten very slowly, which is an absolute boon for making you realise you are full and ending a meal thoroughly satisfied.

Would working with what you already know about yourself help? If you know you are likely to eat before dinner, would having a pre-packed box of vegetable sticks give you something to snack on while dinner is being prepared without blowing your calorie allowance for the day? Similarly, if it's hard to get through the evening without eating after dinner, could you have less at dinner and build in a snack for later? It also occurs to me that you are doing a lot of exercise which may be driving your hunger even further, especially if it's largely cardio. Have you considered building in strength training, or more of it if you already do some Some people have told me it has revolutionised the way their body reacts to exercise and the need for fuel.

Best of luck. Many of us are plodding alongside with the same struggles and frustrations, but a life free of challenge would be boring as hell. So, onwards and upwards!

Gwenllian1 profile image
Gwenllian1Visitor

I am so sorry you are finding it so hard. I know you have said you don't think like carb is for you but if really encourage you to give it a go. It is the only diet (lifestyle now) where I'm never hungry. Truly, have a look at the lchf pages on here and give it a go! It just changes your metabolism! Best of luck whatever you do and don't be hard on yourself. You are trying and doing exercises so you must be fitter than anyone sitting on the couch!

amykp profile image
amykpVisitor

And, watch some of the videos by Dr. Jason Fung. He'll help you understand that your weight is NOT YOUR FAULT, and why, and also why, for most folks, low calorie just won't work in the long term.

Keto is a great way to start, mostly because (if you really really follow it, and especially if you skip breakfast...a little intermittent fasting) it will seem like magic. You will not feel hungry at all, and you will lose weight.

BTW--by follow it, I mean, lots of fat. Heavy cream, bacon and butter. Almost zero carbs. No cheat, even fruit.

You may also like...