Looking for Support.

[MintTeaMascara]

I've been going through a super difficult time lately but until now it's not really affected my new eating habits.

On top of everything, I had more disappointing news yesterday and I'm pretty miserable right now. All I want to do is gorge and drown my sorrows in everything chocolate.

This is usually the point I decide I don't care anymore and end up putting a stone on in a month, after all my hard work.

I'm not going to this time as I've learnt to be kind to myself and need to take some time out to apply it right now (I'm going to give myself 5 mins after posting this). I've also stuck to my fast day today so that's helping me regain perspective and self-constraint and I actually really don't want to throw everything down the shoot this time, no matter how I feel.

Some kind words, support and words of wisdom would be appreciated.

Thanks

~MintTea~

[TheTabbyCat Administrator 10 kg SS Supercook]

Hi MTM, I'm sure that after sharing your feelings everything will fall into perspective as you write. We all get difficult moments it's part of life. You have always been supportive to other members, while you are waiting for some support I suggest you re-read your post as if it was from another member, then answer it as if you're answering some else. Stay strong.

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to TheTabbyCat]

Thank you Tabby🌷

[lucigret]

Well done MTM for coming here and spending time sharing your feelings. Much better than attacking the chocolate! It takes some self constraint to do that.

I hope that life gets better very soon, but in the meantime remember you have friends here and come and have a chat when you need to 😊

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to lucigret]

🙂 thank you

[Hidden]

I hope that after writing down how you feel makes you feel better. This does help for me. When we try to better ourselves in anyway we can something comes along and gives us a bite on the bum. I suppose that’s life. It is the way we react to it is the thing. I think you have does the first thing by writing it down and posting it hear. Secondly you have told yourself you are not going to get the chocolate out. Thirdly you are being kind to yourself.

Try and do some relaxing exercises to help you stay calm. Have a lovely soak in the bath with some lovely smelling soap. Try and have a good sleep.

This may not help but I always try to tell myself there is someone worse of than me. It sometimes works.

Sorry if you think I have gone on a bit I do sympathies and under stand.

Do take care and look after yourself. 💐😊

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to Hidden]

It did thank you. It was the motivation I needed to sit down and be kind to myself for a while. I'll have to make an effort to continue practising this over the next few days.

Not at all.. Thanks. Yeah, it is really nice to get a good soak and rest. I usually get a bath/shower in the morning but I might put some fresh bedding on and go and get a bath now, instead 🙂

You know.. I told myself that 'someone has it worse' my whole life and it's true. I feel for everyone going through and type of struggle, I just think it makes us forget/bypass our own pain when really our own pain is valid and deserving of support and care - even if that is coming from ourselves only.

Thank you.

[Hidden in reply to MintTeaMascara]

I hear ya!

First fresh bedding is lovely. Secondly pain is not lessened but knowing someone else has it worse! I have a friend who says there’s nothing else that matters besides cancer, everything else is irrelevant and is insignificant beside it. I don’t agree, the pain we feel from cruelty, rejection, thoughtlessness, unfaithfulness, job uncertainty, cherished homes being at risk - all of these are real things that hurt us. Some formerly dear friends behaved very unkindly to me, and my hurt has flared up recently. Another friend brutally told me I had no right to feel hurt because I was married with a child, and she was not. Sadly it does not work like that. We must obviously see all the blessings in our lives, but not being allowed to be sad or to feel because we don’t somehow qualify for that is pretty destructive.

(And yes I ate the chocolate but it was 85% cocoa so no harm done...)

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to Hidden]

Sorry you've been through that. I understand.

We all have the right to be empathised with and to be validated.

I hope you find more of that in your life.

[Hidden in reply to MintTeaMascara]

Thank you xxxx

[Shield-Maiden]

Hi MintTeaMascara,

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a rough time; life can be very difficult..it's what makes us stronger, and, more understanding individuals (so 'they' say).

You're an understanding, kind, and, supportive lady...maybe not easy, but give yourself a bit of your own advice....please don't blow all of your hard work and efforts. If it's a person causing this upset, don't let them win.

If you blow your healthy new way of living, you will wake up feeling worse...if you decide to get rid of the stress some other way (a walk, a bubbly bath, a chat with a friend) just think how much better, you will feel in the morning.

You've got this! - virtual hug x

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to Shield-Maiden]

😊 thanks. I don't want to spend the rest of my life yo-yo-ing it's only going to get worse and harder as the years go on.. I do really want to nip this in the bud now and I think the key is kind-self-talks.

I just need to get practised in it until it becomes second nature.

Thank you

[Bee-bop Maintainer 2st 7lbs]

Hi Minteamascara,

Rough times can make us want to throw in the towel which is just when we need to remember how far we have come. I hope that you can see all the hard work you have put in and that this challenge right now is most probably not the biggest challenge you have faced? Can you picture yourself before this at a time where you were feeling super good about your weightloss and a time you were smiling outwardly or inwardlyor even both? It can be a boost and a way to think about the positives of your journey when you hit a bump in the road.

Distractions are a good way to fill the time when you feel you want to reach for things you know won't help your weightloss and a few people have made suggestions that could help too.

You have been kind and supportive on here and it can be hard to refocus that onto ourselves but, kind self talk sounds a good plan 👍

Bee

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to Bee-bop]

Feeling good about my weight loss vs feeling in pain and unhappy about my weight definitely helps put things into perspective.

🙂 thank you.

[Bee-bop Maintainer 2st 7lbs in reply to MintTeaMascara]

No worries 🙂

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI]

Thank you everyone for all the support. Your comments mean the world.

[Food4Fuel 7lbs]

Hi MTM I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been having such a rough time - you are such a voice of encouragement on this forum that it’s easy to forget we’ve all got lives happening elsewhere. I think you did the right thing by speaking up about how you were feeling too 😊 I echo the comments of others about taking some time out for yourself - relaxing bath, treat yourself to something none food related etc etc - sometimes I find that if I can manage the stress and get that under control it makes my desire to stress eat lessen to a more manageable lesson. Really hope you can have a relaxing evening and that things turn a corner for you soon 💐

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to Food4Fuel]

Thank you. I had a lovely bath and after everyone's words of support, a bit of a break through.

I've forgot to drink all day so I'm about to get a mint tea, put some lavender on and hopefully get a good nights rest. Thank you ☺

[Food4Fuel 7lbs in reply to MintTeaMascara]

I’m glad to hear it! Sleep well 😊

[gman1961]

Morning MTM,

Remember you are not alone, we are always here to support each other.

Take care ,

Gary

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to gman1961]

Hiya

Thanks Gary

[CAG53]

I have found a couple of diet foods I really love so instead of chocolate why not go for a new food you have found and binge on that. I have developed a love of Peppers so when I feel down I roast a stuffed pepper with rice, onion and corn mixture with a liberal sprinklingof soy sauce.

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to CAG53]

Nice sounds like a good plan.

I think I have gastroparesis through and my gut struggles to digest the food, so I need to avoid snacking to give my digestive system gaps between meals.

I have a few things that help - 'urge surfing' and just being kind to myself.

That seems to be working I've been alright today with food.

Thanks

[WhiteRose69]

Well done for your honesty! I don't always find it easy to be so honest even with myself. Fasting must be very hard but you've done it!! Another well deserved pat on the back. How did you spend your 5 minutes? I hope it was something rewarding. I'm enjoying a good thriller at the moment, Into The Water by Paula Hawkins and that helps me zone out for a while. Enjoy your food this week and be kind to yourself.

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to WhiteRose69]

Thank you. I think it's important to make ourselves vulnerable and reach out for help to break the cycle of things becoming too difficult - albeit hard.

I'm sure you can get there too!

Thank you.. I enjoy fasting though so it wasn't too hard.

I just spent 5 mins doing some kind self-talk and reminded myself that it's understandable that I want food while I'm so low (because it is some source of happiness) but that it's not going to benefit me in the long run, will only make me more miserable and that I can do it and enjoy my meals instead etc.

Distractions have their place but sometimes we need to sit down and face our difficulties.

Thanks again I will be making an effort too it helps so much

[CAG53 in reply to MintTeaMascara]

You are so self-aware I need to learn from you. Your additional concerns mean you are well ahead in this game. With all the negative feelings you are getting from your own body you need to appreciate what you are managing to achieve. Keep up the good work! We need your determination and you need to appreciate what you are achieving already.

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to CAG53]

Thank you..

You're right.. I'm almost never happy with what I achieve, I hold standards for myself that are unrealistic. I'll improve on that eventually thanks

[Harley13]

Difficult times require some thought. Well I started a diet this week after balloning 45 lbs in ADT. I have lost 10lbs and feel great. I am doing daily fasting and Keto (eat only 10-6). I am also riding bike and exercising. I think all of these things take thought and keep me out of the doldrums. These things also help the wellness aspect of your life.

We in the group understand the ups and downs. We just have to make the ups are there.

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to Harley13]

Congratulations with your weight loss. Do be careful to pace so you can get to a sustainable place x

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone in reply to Harley13]

Hello and welcome to the weight loss forum, Harley13 😊

You'll find all the information you need about the forum in our Pinned Posts healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... including a Welcome message. A good place to start is by joining a weekly weigh in on the day of your choice, and using the Daily Diary, where members share their meal plans, including plenty of low carbers..

This gives you a tour of the forum healthunlocked.com/?tour=true and, along with Pinned Posts, will show you how things work. I hope you'll become an active member and we will see you joining in around the forum 😊

PS the app doesn’t give access to all parts of the forum so we advise everyone to get rid of the app and log on to the full website using the browser on their phone

[Shield-Maiden]

Hi MTM,

How are you ?

I hope things are better for you today x

Sending a virtual hug SM 😘

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to Shield-Maiden]

Hiya SM 😊

I'm holding up thanks..

Foods going okay, no binging or cravings for binging so, pretty good

Thank you 🤗

[Shield-Maiden in reply to MintTeaMascara]

That's good news...very good news. I know all too well, about emotional and binge eating; it can be a very viscous circle, so the fact that you haven't, shows your strength of character.

You've got this! x

(PS. No need to reply to me, I was just checking in)