Binge Eating and Urge Surfing

[MintTeaMascara]

No surprise with me, but after a short while of staying pretty stable with a healthy eating pattern - the binging started again.

Like many others here, I'm completely unaware of (and unable to pinpoint) what exactly causes me to fall off the wagon.

I think CBT would be good for this sort of problem (at least for me) but I haven't been able to access it.

I accidentally came across a concept called 'Urge Surfing' or 'Surfing the Urge' that was introduced by a psychologist named Alan Marlatt.

Basically, instead of calling the urge 'bad' or fighting to ignore it or get past it etc... you instead accept it - "Yep, I'm really craving that chocolate right now, I reaally want it" and then you just ride with the craving until it dissipates.

So far I'm finding it really helpful and have found that it takes away that "I am bad" feeling from the binge cravings.

I'm hoping this is how I learn to overcome my binge eating problems and hope others can find some help or use in this too.

I'm going to link a couple of videos below.

I hope it helps

~MintTea~

impulsivity.com.au/2018/04/...

youtu.be/-moW9jvvMr4(Not working as expected?)

[Sewnknit]

I love TED talks!

Very interesting, I think I'll be using this over the weekend, - the snacking has got to stop,

Thank you.

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to Sewnknit]

You're welcome ☺️

I know me too.. So many gems of advice and wisdom to absorb.

Good luck with everything

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to Sewnknit]

Let me know if you try it and how you find it

[IndigoBlue61]

This is similar to the approach taken by Gillian Riley, about facing the cravings/urges etc and making a CHOICE I reviewed her book here healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

And it’s filed under Useful Resources along with other helpful posts

healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to IndigoBlue61]

I'm going to stick with trying this concept out so not to overwhelm myself.

But thank you and it sounds really interesting

[dontdojogging 1st 7lbs]

Morning MTM - tnx for the link to the video, v interesting ( great speaker) I'm going to give this a try too - with my go to crackers, slices of corned beef (Yes.... I have a real craving for these) and my urge to immediately reply to msgs. My phone is almost surgically attached to me these days!

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to dontdojogging]

😊 Hiya.. Glad you're giving it a try.. It got me over a bad couple of days and things are on a bit more of an even keel now, so so-far so-good.

Have you given it a try yet? Let me know how you find it

[dontdojogging 1st 7lbs]

Morning MTM - my worse times are in the eve when other half goes to bed early and I have free rein of the kitchen. Or when he used to go to his hobby club on a Tues eve. In former times that cd lead to 3 mini magnums biting the dust!!

I have snacked this week but not excessively so but I know there will be times when I will have to put into practice.

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to dontdojogging]

Hey

Sound like you're really getting a grip on things and doing well. I think treats are good within boundaries/allowances, so this urge surfing is a good way to not go all out on the snacks/desserts. I hope you manage to put it into practice when you really need it, in the long run we'll feel better for it

[RiaT in reply to dontdojogging]

Hi there. How is it going for you? I’m the same. Evenings. Just hopeless. Tried all sorts to fill my time in the evenings but can’t seem find something that grips me enough to stop running to the shop/fridge/cupboard 😏

[Pink4eva]

Hi, just entered 'binge eating' in search box and saw your post. I haven't binged for 33 days, but I feel I could be on the verge. Am doing LCHF and IF. although I didn't binge yesterday, I did eat more carbs than planned, so starting to feel a bit out of control. My first thought was to fast for at least 36hrs to make up for this.. I had fasted for 68hrs 2 wks ago, then someone on this forum said was a doing this for the right reason, or to try to starve to loose weight. I just read your post and it really resonated with me. I had STS same this week which I was very disappointed with, which lead to negative thoughts and feeling a bit emotionally unsettled. I will look at the site you have posted. Hope things are ok with you. Happy to chat and thank you for posting.

[Food4Fuel 7lbs in reply to Pink4eva]

Hi Pink4Eva! Sorry you feel like you are having a “wobble” - I agree that you should only fast for the right reasons and not to punish yourself (even subconsciously) do you have any other coping mechanisms you could put in place right now?

Can you take some time out to do some relaxation exercises on YouTube - I sometimes find this helps lower my stress levels and the need to binge can subside (or at least be manageable). Distraction also works - can you take an hour out to work on a hobby or go for a walk...

Just take a deep breath - you’ve got this!

(Also speaking as someone who stood on the scales yesterday and but 2lbs on for no reason whatsoever 🤷🏻‍♀️ its hard to turn off the negative voice in your head)

Hoping you are doing ok 😊

[Pink4eva in reply to Food4Fuel]

Hi Food4Fuel, thank you so much for responding. Sorry that you had a weight gain, I know how disappointing that can be, especially if you haven’t done anything to deserve it. I am still a member of SlimmingWorld, I was only 9lbs off my target weight in Feb’19 and have put 60lbs back on since then. I just felt completely out of control through binge eating. It was only when I found this forum and started LCHF that my cravings virtually stopped. I have started to read ‘The Binge Code’ , but have been at work the last few days so haven’t been able to catch up with it. Even now I’m fasting, I think to try to prove to myself that I am in control. Also a part of me is worried that if I start eating, I may not be able to stop and with go over my carb target again. Also, it’s my birthday next week and in the back of my mind I am worried that I will binge eat. I do like listening to music and I use this to relax, I also cross stitch, but I haven’t always got the concentration for this. Sorry to go on, but it’s so nice to be able to communicate with people who have similar issues around food. What sort of eating plan are you using.

[Food4Fuel 7lbs in reply to Pink4eva]

Hi 👋 you’re not “going on” 😊 so please don’t worry. I’ve gone back to simple calorie counting. I think for me psychologically - once I start cutting out a food group it inevitably will lead to a binge at some point so I’ve decide to keep things simple. The fear to lose control around food is real for me at times and it’s what I’m trying to get away from. I want to lose weight but I would rather be a stone overweight and cut out this binge/starve cycle that diet/guilt/stress etc gets me into than be slim. Ditching the low fat foods is also helping me - I’m cooking everything myself - 6 weeks in and I’ve not had a binge but I know the challenge will come at some point!!

So my question is how do we deal with it when it does?

It sounds like LCHF is working for you which is great 👍🏻 and the book sounds good - I’m trying to remember if I’ve read it or not 🤔 Rather than stressing over your birthday food could you make a plan of nice things you would like to eat and just enjoy them? It’s not the total end of the world if you end up having bigger portions for one day....sometimes when we do “all or nothing” thinking we become our own worst enemies and at least for me the stress of trying to do it perfectly makes it worse.

Any thoughts?

I will be dipping in and out of the forum all day so feel free to post back - I’m happy to chat 😊 especially if you are having a tough day!

[Food4Fuel 7lbs in reply to Pink4eva]

Hi Pink4eva just checking in to say I hope you are doing ok this week and got through your weekend stress ok 😊

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to Pink4eva]

Hiya, things are well. Thanks.

I think you're doing the same thing as me - when things are not going perfectly you start being hard on yourself and working harder. Dieting/eating like this does only work temporarily. Eventually, you'll cave and you'll keep going round in circles and end up being confused as to why you can't keep at it consistently which could cause you to blame yourself and struggle with self-worth.

It might not all make sense internally yet but if you can catch your thinking patterns as they happen, the next time you perform under the expectations you have for yourself, that will be key to starting learning how to be kind to yourself in those moments and the cycle will just gradually fall away. (Hope that's not too wordy and you can follow okay).

As well as the 'urge surfing', these have both helped me -

healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

A few things you could try - allow yourself treats (as long as it won't lead to a binge) - make sure you care about yourself so that your eating habits become about long-term health (that way you will eventually crack this and lose weight) - seek a good relationship with food - urge surf in the supermarket so you don't buy unwanted snacks - try to be aware of any negative emotions around food and body image (shame, guilt, self-worth etc).

If you can be okay with this taking longer than you originally hoped, if you can be okay with an STS or a gain of 1lb (if it happens), you'll give yourself the space to work this out and you'll be okay.

The main thing is to care about your long-term health, to eat healthy food and to learn how to be kind to yourself.

Hopefully, you got enough from the Binge Starve Cycle post to learn how and just take from this post whatever resonates and feels right for you.

I lost nearly a stone once I'd joined here and then piled it all back on (and some) in a few weeks. That's common for me but I'm trying to take things slower this time so I can find a way forward, where I won't find myself back at square one. And so I can move into older age without having to worry about my eating/weight habits.

If you need anything just let me know.

~MintTea~

[RiaT]

Hi Sewnknit can I ask how you are doing? Really doing?

[MintTeaMascara Healthy BMI in reply to RiaT]

Hiya Sewnknit might not see this as you've replied to the whole thread. I've tagged Sewnknit

for you

[RiaT in reply to MintTeaMascara]

Thank you. I see what I did wrong now. Thank you

[Sewnknit in reply to RiaT]

Oh thank you!

I see I wrote that post a while ago. Things have been rather, well, strange.

The dearly beloved had his heart attacks and a stent in June and I had a pacemaker last month.

I wish I could run again, I got up to the Cardiff Marathon about 14 years ago after several half marathons. The knees are now totally rubbish so we have his and hers Concept 2s.

I'm up to 20 mins on that, as of this week and I'm working my way up, 5 mins extra per week, back to 30 mins per day. Not at the rate I did before I ended up back in hospital at the beginning of August, until I speak to my consultant in November.

Things are good here, we have been through so much and I feel so lucky. We both had what I believe to be Covid at the end of March (working in a teaching hospital, next to Covid patients and with staff who tested positive - one of whom didn't make it).

Loosing weight is a bonus, being healthy is the important thing. Now I'm home I want to enjoy every day that comes along for as long as I can.

x

Edit to add - I eat a big breakfast and an early evening meal, but if I feel hungry at lunch time or in the evenings I have a piece of brie or even a teaspoon of peanut butter.

[RiaT in reply to Sewnknit]

Thank you and well done. You’ve had a lot going on too. But keep it up and thanks again x