13 stone and 5ft 1

[Matrix62]

hey I am 35 5ft1 and weigh 13 stone, I started a food journal but without someone to hold me accountable it has become a punishment the same with exercise it feels like I will never lose the weight so why bother and I quickly give up ... Does anyone know how I'm feeling?

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone]

Hello and welcome, Matrix62

Weight loss is far more related to what and how we eat than it is to exercise. Exercise has so many benefits so find something you can enjoy whether that dancing, hoola hooping, walking or whatever - anything you can stick with and gradually increase - but don't rely on it for weight loss.

This is a great place for information and support, full of people like you, wanting to lose weight and have a healthy lifestyle. My tip would be to make a few minutes every day to come here, read and reply to chats, join in our clubs and challenges, ask questions and encourage others. You'll find everything you need in Pinned Posts healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... As a starting point, I recommend joining a weekly weigh in and using the Daily Diary, where members post their meal plans.

All the best

[monday1957 3kg]

Morning, Matrix62 and hope the sun is shining where you are.

I can so relate to your feelings of frustration and despair. When I was your age, my weight yo yo-ed a lot (mainly high) and with hindsight I can see it was very much related to what was going on in my personal life at the time.

I think I was too hard on myself, given all that I had going on eg working full-time, single parent, money worries etc. My weight just seemed something else to feel that I was struggling with.

For what it's worth, these are some of the strategies that have worked for me since then:

Keep a food and exercise journal and do it first thing every morning - I use the NHS weekly food and activity chart

Do some form of exercise every day; I started walking as I never had time or money for the gym. Getting outside, even for a short time, does wonders for the soul!

Weigh in just once a week on this site.

Think about meal plans and shop accordingly. Consider using the Daily Diary on this site - that's been a huge motivator for me, plus everyone's so friendly and supportive.

Set yourself manageable goals e.g. A pound or two a week.

Make sure you're eating enough so you don't get miserable, as that's generally when I used to give up, if I felt deprived.

Don't even consider a quick fix diet as it's just not sustainable, trust me.

Gradually reduce your snacks. Brush your teeth after evening meal and don't eat again until breakfast.

Don't buy crisps, biscuits, sweets etc If you have to have them for the kids or whoever, put them in a separate cupboard which you make a no-go area for yourself.

Consider eating off a smaller plate, as this will help you reduce portion sizes.

Make sure you're eating your five a day and that you've got some protein at every meal, as this helps to keep you filled up.

If you get hunger pangs, drink a glass of water first, then wait before eating. They often disappear.

Consider different recipes - look on Dietdoctor.com for ideas.

Finally, what's worked for me is cutting out carbs eg no bread, pasta, rice or spuds. That might seem like an impossibility, but it works for lots of people. Processed carbs are a source of sugar, which is addictive.

Start today knowing that you can take control. It'll be a journey and you'll falter at times, but it's doable.

All the best!

🌈

[Gonti 10 kg in reply to monday1957]

Great post Monday.

[LizQ 7lbs in reply to monday1957]

Fantastic post, thank you from me too as I’ve lost all my good intentions for now too x

[Gonti 10 kg]

Yup I was you last October and was ( and still am) much heavier than you - the only thing that was clear was that I could not carry on as before. Its hard for you to be facing that moment in lockdown. Well done for posting.

What is currently working for me was taking it gradually, using my fitness Pal as a food diary and the fantastic daily diary forum here for accountability plus the weighin. You have nothing to lose but weight and the grief that goes with that. Good luck. Hope to see you around

[monday1957 3kg in reply to Gonti]

Yeah, it is a grief that we carry around isn’t it - a grief for the person we know we truly are, but is obscured...a grief for the loss of confidence that being overweight can often (not always!) bring...a grief for all the bloody hours spent feeling miserable & worthless & just plain ugly...a grief for all those lost opportunities to take control...a grief for endlessly comparing yourself to other women and finding yourself always wanting...the list could go on & on.

Your final sentence resonated so powerfully with me: ‘you have nothing to lose but the weight and the grief that goes with that.’ Wow

[Gonti 10 kg in reply to monday1957]

Thanks Monday I felt a lot of the grief go once I started at least trying to eat sensibly.

[monday1957 3kg in reply to Gonti]

I couldn't agree more with that comment, too. Once I was in control, I gradually started to feel ok. I didn't wake up feeling wretched about the poor food choices I'd made the previous day, as I was now putting healthy food into my body. My energy increased and I felt I respected and valued myself more. Happy days 🌞

[Hidden]

Dear Matrix

I used to be a single mother & it’s very very hard. I feel for you.

My weight has yoyoed for 15 years. I hope I am finally going to keep it off.

There are a few things I have learned from this site, which I will share as they may be useful:

- instead of writing down what you have eaten - which is always depressing, as you say, write down what you are going to eat. I found that making a plan at the beginning of the day helped me to make me more likely to do the right thing

- our food choices now, affect our food choices later. If I resist the sweeties or whatever now, I am much less likely to eat them later. If I have a chocolate biscuit with my mid morning coffee, while it’s only 80 calories or whatever, I am more likely to eat like a starving golden retriever later, and tomorrow, and the day after.

- don’t worry about what you weigh for now, just focus on what you put in your mouth.

- giving up sugar & carbs has completely changed my life. I used to be absolutely ruled by my huge appetite. I have learned here my appetite was driven by eating lots of sugar & carbs over many years, and therefore a lot of insulin production, which stimulates the appetite hormone (ghrehlin). When we are overweight, we think we are greedy pigs and are too weak willed to stop eating & lose weight. Actually we are mostly responding to a physical response - our body desperately wants to eat. Cut out sugar & carbs & that changes.

[monday1957 3kg in reply to Hidden]

Ah, I so agree re carbs! I wish I wish I wish I’d known back then!

My son is carrying some weight & eats like a hungry horse. He’s going to become a dad for the first time soon & wants to lose weight. I’ve tried talking to him about lchf but he says he just couldn’t cut out carbs. I tell him I used to feel the same way - no spuds? No toast or pasta or sandwiches??!!! But it’s all a state of mind, isn’t it? I used to have two sugars in my tea - gave that up ok. Don’t even drink builders tea any more. Once upon a time I used to eat meat & fish - stopped 37 years ago. You adapt. You alter your habits.

[Hidden in reply to monday1957]

My husband said he could not give up carbs - but then he saw me lose a size in a month & wanted some of that. He’s quite a male friendly diet, with all the meat. Hope your son is able to see his way through.

[monday1957 3kg in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your reply.

My son has started cycling again as his daily exercise, which is great but I wonder if it’s making him a bit complacent about what food he’s literally shovelling down.

He’s been v supportive and proud of my weight loss but it’s almost like it’s something he feels is out of his realm of possibility...?