I remember the wake; sitting there by his side for what seemed an eternity; the body was there but the man and his spirit were gone.
It was a few months later and it was a Saturday. I remember staring anxiously through my bedroom window praying for the rain to stop. I had been picked to play for the 1st Team of my Junior School - the only one chosen from my year and two years younger than the bulk of my team. I was bursting with excitement, pride and anticipation; something was finally going right for me........But, it was not to be.
The game was cancelled and I did not play for my school again. My addiction to food had begun.....
It was only many years that I begin to see the links. The uprooting from a community in Northern Spain to a market town in the Midlands. The death of my father a year later. Two losses leaving a hole. Food, that false friend, feeding that hole but failing to heal or make me whole.
So, I begin on that march again many years older and maybe a few of those wiser.
105 KG and 35 of those to lose....
Written by
TheGalician
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I can identify with you on so many levels! My unhealthy relationship with food started when I was very young. I found refuge in food when my parents divorced and have had a love hate relationship with it ever since! My Dad's death knocked me down in too many ways to get into. Unlike you, I didn't get to sit beside his empty body - I was on a different continent and had a newborn. My husband, who comes from a disjointed family, offered no emotional support and even told me I was over reacting for being tearful two days after my father's death!! Too much went on and I turned to food!!
My father was a wonderful cook and had tirelessly prepared meals to keep me fit in my younger days. He would not be happy to see how I have let myself go!! So here I am, ready to take on the challenge and excited that we've taken the first step to our healthier selves!
This community is all about mutual support and I'm sure you'll be able to help us just as much as we're able to help you
All of the information you need about the forum can be found in Pinned Posts healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... and I hope you'll be joining all the Events, Challenges and Clubs that we run, especially a weigh-in and the daily diary.
We've found active participation to be key to successful weight loss and, of course, it's a good way to get to know people, find inspiration and share support and encouragement.
Those insights sound helpful, and maybe a return to the Galician way of eating would be a good starting point. Though you may struggle to find the range of seafood
I recognise what you have written and the relationship with food. It was my mother who died when I had just turned 13 but I eventually overcame my not too unhealthy relationship with food although my father died a few years later when I was a student. It was a few years later when I had another very difficult episode in my life that it started again and it has continued to a degree. My life has had many difficulties to deal with and I have often used food as the comfort when really it causes more problems. I am tall so I don't look enormous but I have at least another 2 stone to lose. This time the weight gain was caused by medication for a very painful condition which has gone in to remission. My unhealthy relationship with food makes it more difficult to lose the weight. I think perhaps although we recognise the reason for our relationship with food we need to change that. I would find it much easier if someone else was buying, preparing and cooking the food. I guess we all would if we had nothing or no one to think about but ourselves and doing what we want. I know I would but life isn't like that and would be the poorer for it. I think the secret to losing weight is changing our attitude to food as well as our habits. Not an easy task. I suspect most people who have become overweight have emotional ties either now or in their past with which they associate the comfort of food. I think if more was done to recognise this we'd be a good way to solving a lot of the problems around food. We have to eat to live so there's no getting round that one by giving up eating. Even the experts change the plans because low fat which meant high sugar has now changed with the recognition that sugar is not good for us other than in very small quantities. How are we expected to lose weight when the experts don't agree or change it all? I am following LC HF and it works for me but I am not quite back in the groove yet. I think having set out the above has motivated me to get back on track. It is good to recognise why we are overweight and my best wishes to you for getting started. I wonder how many more there are on this forum with similar reasons for their issues with food? I suspect there are many.
I had been overweight at about 18 stone for decades when my late wife died - and I then put on another stone and a half.
I then joined here - and lost four and a half stone.
If you "slim smart" weight loss is not so hard! It is not all about motivation and masochism.
Some of us here find that what works is a combination of The Low Carbohydrate, High-Fat (LCHF) diet (see the forum here on Health Unlocked) and Not Snacking All Day AKA Intermittent Fasting (IF). See:
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Serious about controlling food i eat. 
Commitment and behaviour modification around food
Sneezing & feel like comfort food....
Food combining
My 12 week challenge
