New person : Hi Just joined today. My... - Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support

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MRSELF profile image

Hi Just joined today. My bmi is over 40, I need help big time. I know what I need to do it's just I need the motivation and determination.

I've always struggled with my weight since having my first baby 17 years ago it's been up and down but never ever got to a point were I'm happy with myself. I just had my 4th baby 6 months ago and I'm stuck in a rut of "staying in is easyer" my weight is now causing problems in my knees I can't walk upstairs without it feeling my knee is going give way and snap or something. It's also causing problems with my sciatic nerve (which I had problems with before now) I just need help with weight loss mentally more than anything!

Hope everyone is well 😊 x

20 Replies

I’m also a newbie and I’m over 40 bmi too. I’m going to give the NHS plan a proper go this time. I’m also in the category of knowing what to do but not being able to actually “start” so give in before I’ve really tried. Mainly because it’s just feels like a long road. I’ve always been one for an easy fix but realising none of those easy quick fixes work in the long term. We just need to dig deep and get this done.

Wishing you the best of luck.

MRSELF profile image
MRSELF in reply to w00dy

Thanks w00dy.

It's so difficult int it.

I feel like I'm alone on this aswell which doesn't help. I've tried slimming world which worked but I was doing it on my own so got bored and gave up. So I'm hoping this group will help with that.

We've got this ... we can do it..

Wishing you the best of luck too w00dy.

lucigret profile image
lucigret1 stone in reply to MRSELF

You are never alone on this forum and the benefit of being here is that we are free and open 7 days a week for support, at least between 7am and 10pm and very often there are people here earlier and later than that :)

Why not join the Feelgood Friday Weigh in today, they are very friendly and supportive and will be pleased to welcome you :)

w00dy profile image
w00dy in reply to MRSELF

We can definitely do this. If you can cope with 4 children my love you can tackle any obstacle. X

lucigret profile image
lucigret1 stone in reply to w00dy

Welcome w00dy to our friendly forum,

I won't lie to you, it can be a long road to loosing weight. Much better you take the scenic route and enjoy the views than the motorway though. The slower it comes off the more likely it is to stay off.

If you are using the NHS 12 week plan, please be aware that the 1400\1900 calorie range is a generic number and not right for everybody. Please read the information I am going to give you and find your way to the BMI calculator to check out your own personal calorie range and as I said to Myself, start at the top of the range.

Why not start today by joining in with the Feel good Friday Weigh in, you will get lots of support there - can be found in Events.

To make navigating the forum easier, we've put all the information you'll need in a newbie pack and here's the link

Please take the time to read it carefully, so that you're able to enjoy everything that we have on offer.

We ask that you also read this important information about internet privacy and security.

We would like to make sure that you are aware that your name and contents of your post are searchable on Google, Facebook and Twitter if you leave your posts unlocked or reply to unlocked posts.

Wishing you all the best :)

w00dy profile image
w00dy in reply to lucigret

Thank you, I’ll look into the bmi calorie tool now to get proper calorie details and take your advice on the scenic route. I like that analogy x

lucigret profile image
lucigret1 stone

Welcome Mrself to our friendly forum,

Congratulations on the newest member of your family, you have your hands full.

You have come to the right place for support and advice. Join in with the forum as much as you can, it will help to keep you on track. The first thing to do is to read all the information I am about to give you and find the link to the BMI calculator. Use it to work out your own personal calorie allowance and start at the top end, don't be tempted to start low. You will have to drop calories as you loose weight. If you are eating 'diet' foods or low fat foods, change that as well, you need to eat good fats so that you feel full and not hungry, feeling hungry is the biggest cause for people giving in.

To make navigating the forum easier, we've put all the information you'll need in a newbie pack and here's the link

Please take the time to read it carefully, so that you're able to enjoy everything that we have on offer.

We ask that you also read this important information about internet privacy and security.

We would like to make sure that you are aware that your name and contents of your post are searchable on Google, Facebook and Twitter if you leave your post unlocked.

Wishing you all the best :)

MRSELF profile image
MRSELF in reply to lucigret

Thank you. I'll have a read through it all. And check out the bmi calculator and see where I need to start x

BridgeGirl profile image

Hello MRSELF and welcome. You're right to take things in hand now, I'm sure your life is pretty full with your children and you need all the energy you can.

I'm just going to make one point: I came here with the safe belief as you, that I knew what I needed to do and it just came down to motivation and persistence. I've found out over the months that I didn't know much, really, and most of what I did was wrong and taking me down the wrong path. As an example, I was still in the mindset that fats were bad for you, and I was eating low fat everything.

Do be open to different opinions and trying new things so you can find the best way of eating for you and your family going forward, a way that can last you for a lifetime.

Use the NHS BMI calculator for you calorie range - it will be pretty high given your BMI but have confidence in it, you will lose weight and you won't feel deprived so you'll be less likely to give up

FinalFewPounds profile image
FinalFewPoundsHealthy BMI

The best thing you can do (worked so well for me) is to cut portion sizes severely for the first week or two; about 1600 a day worked for me. Your stomach gets used to less food and you feel way fuller and it makes dieting so much easier.

Also don't rush it: Much better to lose a pound a week than 5, dramatic weight loss sadly comes back really fast, you can gain a whole stone in a month simply by over eating!

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to FinalFewPounds

Hi, your advice to take it slow and steady is sound :)

We usually advise that people get a personalised calorie range, rather than a generic one, or one that suited any one of us. This poster's BMI is over 40 so her calorie target wouldn't be the same as someone with a BMI of, say, 28, so 1600 may not be right for her, any more than the generic 1400 that people get drawn to.

Barcud profile image

You've already made a great start by coming here and posting, it took me nearly 7 weeks of lurking before I posted last week. The NHS plan has been a revelation to me, I feel so positive about succeeding reaching my goals. Read as many posts as you can and join in as much as you can. I know with a young family it's not easy to focus on yourself but for their sakes and yours you should give yourself time to look after you!

focused1 profile image

When my 5 sons were all under 11 I could either comfort eat or get out of the house . I used to walk them miles or join in their games . I would even iron out in the garden with chairs round the ironing board like rounders posts . I knew keeping active would keep my weight down . At night time by all means wind down but maybe join some forums - say Mumsnet or earn by doing surveys . This keeps your fingers busy as watching the TV was lethal for me . I even recorded programmes to skip adverts . Sip low cal hot choc drink if you get that common sugar rush . Being a Mum is understated hard hard very hard work . Try and get out at least 1 evening a week . Once a little weight drops off I recommend Zumba as the music makes you move and in our class we have such an age/ fitness range. I actually found Slimming clubs a bit negative as I was constantly round some who saw healthy eating as punishment plus being sold shakes and low cal food wasn't a lifestyle I wanted . You have joined this site . We all have a common goal but those who lose then maintain just eat differently but if you see some of the recipes on here then you will be amazed what choice and how appetising the food is . Let us know how you progress .


what do you find as the biggest hurdles with losing weight?

MRSELF profile image
MRSELF in reply to mummyclark92


The biggest hurdles are....My husband doesn't like healthy food well he likes it occasionally (he's one of thoes that can eat what he likes and doesn't gain an oz) so the temptation is always there. I'm on maternity leave at the moment so I'm soley responsible for making everyone's tea. Also if I've had a crappy day with baby having an off day etc I grab a takeaway because it's quick and easy.

I eat toast a lot in day because it's quick and easy to grab.

Been depressed about my weight doesn't help either because it just makes me eat more 😭😢😭 I'm in such a pickle 😔 x

mummyclark92 profile image
mummyclark926lbs in reply to MRSELF

Omg this literally sounds like my husband! He'll generally only eat healthily if my parents are around and that's mostly because as much as he pushes the strange green things around his plate he won't be rude and will always eat them with them.

Toast had been basically my staple diet for life, right up until a few weeks ago when I made the decision to try hard and cut the majority of bread out of my diet. Mainly because my family have a love hate relationship with it: we love it but its so bloating and makes us feel pretty crappy. I must say that since I've reduced the amount of bread I'm eating I seem to have a lot more energy.

I'm back at work from maternity leave but ended up having to change jobs as the negativity I got from my old place literally depressed me to the point of sick leave. My new job is a lot better, better people and now an opportunity to walk some of the way to work rather than getting in the car all the time.


I joined today too , not done bmi yet , I know for sure it is high , I have the same problem with knees , my hip and lower back too . Time to sort myself out, been making excuses to myself, but at the end of the day , pushed to the very back of my mind , I know what I need to do 😞 XXX Good luck 🍀

mummyclark92 profile image
mummyclark926lbs in reply to smb5791

Hey, definately do your BMI it might just help to be the motivator to get ypu going. It also gives you your recommended calorie intake. Mine was definitely alot higher than I thought it would be despite being the wrong end of the overweight scale and hopefully rather than apparently starving myself might actually be able to eat myself thin!

You right ,yeah, good positive thinking. I like the idea of weighing and tracking everything, original weight watchers diet was like that, I found that easy to follow , once I got the routine going . The bmi check tells you the truth too , you cant make any excuses or ignore those numbers. Thanks for your post, I already feel much easier 😊

Hi mrself your not alone I had my daughter year ago I struggled to lose the weight but you come to the right place I came bk this week everyone has such good advise and ideas they really give boost u need

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