Had a very emotionally challenging few days with eldest teen daughter -due to weigh in tomorrow and don’t want to in case I haven’t lost anything!!
I have had a few glasses of wine and
Grazed s not felt like eating proper meals. It’s only week 2 how to deal with self sabotage??
You just have to keep picking yourself up- stressful times and careless eating happen to everyone. Just persist and it'll be ok in time.
If I had specific advice, I'd say go easy on the wine, especially when you feel lousy. Think of wine as a celebration drink. It doesn't really lift sadness but it does give you the munchies! Is there something else that might cheer you up more effectively? Sunshine? Coffee? A heart to heart with a family member?
I hope you and your daughter feel better soon. Keep making the effort!
Tennagers can be a nightmare at times ! Stay positive 🙂
Today is the day that you draw a line under your self sabotage and you carry on. It doesn't matter what the scales say, as the important thing is that you're back on track.
Do you use the Daily Diary? This can really help maintain your focus day to day.
You can do this!
Why not shift your focus from weight loss, to healthy living, Bec and take the pressure off.
I'm sure you want your family to eat healthily too, so prepare good, nourishing meals for you all, go for walks to clear your head and view tomorrow's weigh-in as a chance to catch up with your friends 
Hi Bec, cant imagine what you are going through, but the best thing would be to weigh in tomorrow, and stop that feeling in the bud, as no one is judgemental on here, and it would helped for weeks coming. I'm weighin Wednesdays too. Gill
Hi Bec
I remember well the anxst of teenagers and how stressful it was at the time but everything passes and this stage will pass too. I bought a book called ‘ Help I’ve got a teenager’ which is out of print but you might be able to get a copy through the library which at the time I found so helpful. It advocated handing back responsibility to the teenager and saving conflict only for matters of life and death. Look at the long end game rather than the annoyances of the here and now. You have invested many years in the upbringing of your children and ultimately that will pay off. I probably am not explaining this very well but I certainly found things improved when I recognised the pattern of conflict which had developed between us and stepped back by making ‘ I ‘ statements as to how I felt rather than accusatory ‘ you statements’ eg ‘ I feel anxious that you are not studying this weekend and are going partying but I am sure you are old enough and responsible enough to make the right decision as to how you spend your time’’, or ‘I will be out tonight and I’d really like to find the kitchen clean and tidy as I’ve left it’
Walk away from unnecessary conflict and do something you enjoy, soak in the bath, read a book, go for a walk
Don’t let the conflict deter you from your goal of losing weight, you are important and you need to be kind to yourself and care for yourself
With all good wishes
Bec100 I can remember how difficult this was with my middle one and how appetite would disappear when you're stressed only to come back later with a vengeance! But it does get better with time, he's 26 now and a very loving young man. I can only give advice from hindsight and say you need to look after your own health and that will help you cope better with rocky moments. Try to find something to de-stress, pcrw had some good suggestions above, or maybe some yoga or mindlefullness meditations? Anything really which you find calms and relaxes you. Good luck 😀
I can relate to that @Bec10 ... our kids (at any age) can easily drive us to drink sometimes !!
Don't beat yourself up. It's happened. Just try to find a different way to deal with such stress next time ...a warm scented bath, calming music or a good book to distract you. Preferably not food or drink. And if your weigh in is not as you hoped, at least you know the possible reasons why and can tackle that. Today is a new day ! 😊
It's really difficult to focus on yourself when your daughter needs your attention and support.
I hope things get better soon.
Meanwhile be a good role model to her by showing her how you take care of yourself.
My heart goes out to you... i understand how difficult it is. Teenage years can be so hard and i know all you want is for her to be happy.
Show her lots of love. That's really all you can do.
And forgive yourself for the times you are human and not perfect.
Lots of love and good wishes to you both💜💛💚
Bec100 just weigh and take it from where you are. Stress is a pain in the everywhere but one day at a time and you'll get there😊
Hi Bec100 First of all, whatever you weigh, now or in the future, you will always be a hero for bringing up 3 daughters!!
This is just my opinion, but reading through your past posts it seems to me that you tend to start a healthy eating/diet plan, do very well but abandon it at a relatively early stage. This is very common and I would guess it is probably due to you being overwhelmed by the task ahead. As many people repeatedly point out on this forum, the trick is not to think too far ahead.You've been very successful so far in losing 4lbs, so just go for another 4 lbs , and then another 4lbs, and so on. If by chance your next weigh in shows a gain, then this extra weight will be lost very quickly as it will have been put on quickly. You are still at the stage where you are trying to break old habits and this is hard and takes time. It is normal to have slip ups until you find other strategies for dealing with things.Please believe me, the longer you stick at this, the easier it becomes. Day to day healthy eating becomes a habit and it becomes the most natural thing in the world. Also, on the special occasions when you choose to have a treat, this is so much more enjoyable knowing it is part of an overall healthy lifestyle and there is absolutely no guilt involved.
I started the NHS plan on 1st January. At the back of my mind I knew it would take me 5-6 months to reach my goal weight. However, I did not think about this consciously because it would have seemed too depressing.I have literally taken one day at a time and felt a sense of achievement every day that I have filled in the 12 week chart. If the scales don't show a loss one week, I know that as long as I keep going the best I can then the long term trend will be downwards. With this strategy, I have lost 39lbs and am just 6lbs away from my goal. I feel so much healthier and happier and am getting so much more enjoyment out of the food I am eating now.I say this not to brag but because I believe that if only you trust yourself and the plan you will break through the difficult initial stages, things will become easier and all these and many more rewards will be yours as well.
Best of Luck with Everything.
Thanks all
Our girls are all adopted so it’s teenagers with added complications - we are hooking into therapeutic support for them. We try to parent therapeutically but this is challenging over time. Today it’s sunny and I will get on the scales-one bite of the elephant at a time! small steps 🤪
Hard years for adopted children Becs, it’s when all the questions in your mind start, hormones as well kick in. Remember to think of you too though 😊
I have a tricky, unhappy 30 year old child whom Ive tried to counsel without success. Two friends of mine, both psychotherapists, have now told me that a parent cannot/should not expect to counsel her own child. Only an outsider can do it effectively. Mums just need to be mums.
Thanks Ellie,
Theraputic parenting is more about how your respond to your child -we use something called PACE -playful, acceptance, curiousity and empathy so not counseling per se. Therapists on hand just waiting on adoption funding to come through before girls all have therapy. HAve had it about 5 years ago but as they grow need to revisit.
I agree about mums being mums its a challenge when they aren't attached to you and dont want you/cant accept you as a mum. Ikeep going though -as you clearly do!
A really stressful time for you I do empathise and when you are giving so much but getting all the negatives back it is very hard. Just try to take it one day at a time and don't worry too much if you fall off the wagon but do clamber back on. As others have said draw a line under it but don't give up keep coming on here we all want you to be healthy 🤞
Sending hugs 💐💐💐 Hang on in there - you're doing amazing things all round. Take time to care for yourself (even a few moments every day) and remember to breathe ...... can help to keep breathing!!!😊
My feel good is officially gone...
Feeling Bleurgh
Need help, feel like giving up
